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Eco-friendly Shapeshifter
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 Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:04 pm
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Name: Radzva Ecffio
Radzva has no real meaning, it is a mistake of a name. (a play of sorts on his horn placement)
Ecffio - Latin merging of the words Ecfio and Effio, both which mean construct/build/etc.
Blood colour: E0941B ███████
Gender: Male
Symbol: Sun Symbol - ☉
Personality:
Radzva's shyness can come off as being standoffish. He's not the most trusting of creatures, not that in a hyper violent society such as Alternia this would be of much notice. He yearns for a friend or friendship, as conflicting as that might sound with not being very trusting. It might be just the naivety that things will and can get better that causes him to still wish for someone in his life. Friends make everything better, right? Even if they are frenemies.
He's a troll of few words when first met, quiet and more willing to stare and offer clipped opinions than chat your ear off. If you happen to get closer to him, he'll be more willing to talk openly about things and offer more of a response, but don't expect him to yak your ear off.
Though if you got on a topic he is passionate about, he might be more willing to offer opinions or even a lending hand. Building and mechanics are both something he enjoys a lot. Rad has more than once hunted in the derelict husks of hive homes around OHC to see how things are built and how to keep them stable. He's also found other old contraptions - recuperacoons, old ships, etc to tinker with.
Other than building things, he's rather untrained or ignorant about troll culture on large. His Lusus teaches him nothing in those manners and due to shyness/mistrust, he has no real friends to direct him. He does understand the quadrants from his rummaging in abandoned homes, or spelunking in caves, and finding old movies with their incredibly long titles, or compact discs with music on them, and the occasional books. Rad taught himself to read, though that wasn't too difficult seeing as beginning reader books are abundant on a planet populated by primarily children. With no 'friends' to help him master the skill, his reading comprehension isn't very high.
Thoughts on Hemospectrum - He hates it, ever since he learned really what it meant and what it meant for other lowbloods like him. He despises and mistrusts all seadwellers and is not fond of anyone over the Greens. He would never voice his disapproval out right (then again, he wouldn't with a lower color), but he is even more chilly and standoffish to higher tiered bloods.
Hobbies - Building, Tinkering, Collecting cool rocks or neat things, and Fishing.
Strengths:
++ Handy - Rads Hive was meant to be constructed by the constructa-drones. That was until D'Crow returned half way through the work, and decide that they looked really tasty. The Lusus snapped up the workers and that left Rad to patch and care for his home. Every time D'Crow returns home he has to patch the ceiling... As his Lusus just slams down from above and into the heart of the Hive. Rad is good with tools and building, especially when it comes to mechanical things. He's also had practice with older products and jerry-rigging things to work.
++ Resourceful - Being alone with a destructive Lusus has led Rad to be resourceful. He knows how to make limited resources last longer, how to get Beetles to buy food, how to repair of recuperacoon with muck-tape, cloth, and feathers, and much more random things. He even has tinkered together his own semi-fuctional computer (though it... has a chance of exploding).
Flaws:
-- Ignorant/Naive - He doesn't really understand troll culture on a whole. He understands somewhat about quadrants and would like a moirail, but how to get one or anything to that effect is unknown to him. That being said, other trolls might be able to manipulate this if they realize it. They could claim to be his moirail or some other quadrant and Rad would be supseptible to believing it.
-- Mistrusting - Thanks to Rad's awkward horn placement, he has had some difficulty making friends. D'crow warned that his horns might lead others to think he was a mutant (though he's not!). So, he's suspicious of others for fear they might mean him ill. He's also very, very afraid of anyone in a higher caste. In Rad's mind, they have a better chance at speaking to a drone or even commanding a drone to kill him.
Weapon: Wrench Kind
He uses two wrenches as his weapons. Originally it was two pieces of wood, but since coming upon the wrenches he's used that in battle. They are good for mostly close combat, though they could be thrown. It is doubtful that Rad would willingly throw them. They're just too precious to lose!
Appearance
Hair: Rad has an undercut hairstyle that is longer on top and goes to a pony of sorts on the back. Think Sokka - [x] or a real life example [x]. Ontop of that he has forelocks that are rather long, about this length [x] The majority of it is black, but there are small streaks of orange on the pony tail and on the forelocks.
Horns: His horns are located on his jaw and come out in sharp points. They come down from his jaw bone like an insects mandibles. Technically, he is like other trolls who have their horns ON their head, but his is in a different position. Horns. Sorry for the crappy quality. ;__; I lost my tablet.
Clothes: He wears a simple black tshirt that has his symbol in the center - [x]. He wears a pair of black pants that are ripped up on the knees, and a pair of basic black shoes. Sometimes if he wants to be super fancy he'll throw on this orange belt. otherwise his outfit is pretty basic.
Scars: He's got a few on his neck and his back and the back of his arms where he's hurt himself.
Other: He wears a braided bracelet of black cloth (from scraps he's found) that have bone beads he has made from fish carcasses or dead troll carcasses.
Home
Old Hemisect city found it's newest resident being carried in the maw of a giant, white, terrifying Lusus. Constructadrones came to build Rad's home and the boy began to explain his wants. They were only half way through with construction when D'Crow returned and decided they looked delectable. Snip, Snap, Gulp they were eaten. Which meant that the rest of the building had to be built and maintained by Rad.
It is pretty unstable. The whole building could crash down with a good stiff shake (or a giant bird Lusus crashing through the ceiling). But the older Rad gets the more talented he is at keeping the building in tact and not, you know, falling to pieces. Which is grand, really. Its one and a half stories at the moment, the half being more of a loft than an actual floor.
Lusus
Crow-Dad, or D'Crow was, and well IS, a menace in Old Hemisect. The Lusus is known to randomly take out trolls for the sheer fun of it, wishing to pluck them up for a quick snack here and there. It often flies quite far away in order to hunt, but will still terrorize those in OH when it is around. D'Crow is a crow like being, with mandible jaws (similar to Rad's, but more insectoid), five eyes (two on each side with one in the middle), and razor sharp talons.
Most skills passed down by Crow-Dad deal with combat or handiness. D'crow will duel with his charge at random to keep him battle ready. Almost every time the lusus slams through the roof of the hive he will initiate a strife, much to Radz dismay. Radzva has learned that the element of surprise is good, but sometimes charging in head first can be a surprising strategy! Close combat and evasion is Radz specialty.
Handiness, handiness, handiness! Tinkering, mechanics, and care for the hive (that Crow-Dad destroys rather regularly) makes Rad really Handy! Crow-Dad also showed Rad how to rummage through hives, how to find good caves for spelunking, and how to pull apart carcasses to get strong bones.
(Note: D'Crow is a parody of DEEP CROW from Penny Arcade. Hopefully this won't be an issue. xD If it is please let me know!! )
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 7:48 pm
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I wanna apologize for how long this took for me to crit! I was really looking forward to reading this and giving you some helpful pointers, but I was busy watching that P4G playthrough I mentioned a while back, I'm sure you can sympathize. >w>
First off I suggest that you keep the application as it's supposed to. As in, have all the stuff about strength/flaws in the actual strength/flaws section. I would also suggest having it all in one post, but that's just me personally and it really doesn't affect anything. XD
Then the power you have listed isn't actually a power, unless it's something like Spiderman's Spider Sense? If it's something he learned from his lusus then it's just a skill he learned rather than a power. Also you mentioned he's mutated (I will come back to this later) so if he really does have Spider Sense (or whatever you would call it) then that will make him doubly as hard to get since mutants are rare as are those with powers.
Those are just what I noticed from a quick glance, so now it's time to actually read through everything! Whoo! Right off the bat I notice that you left the helpful suggestions on how to get the personality section started in place. That stuff should have been removed and replaced with a paragraph or two talking about your troll! You have a kind of breakdown on personality points to follow, but as I mentioned earlier the ones that explain his strengths/flaws should be in the section below where they belong. The other points should just be merged into paragraphs. Take a look at accepted quests to get a feel for what I'm saying. c=
Oh dear, I'm still just talking about your formatting and I wandered away from my goal of actually reading about your troll. Let's get back to that! You mention how, as a mutant, he didn't get any construction drones, but then why does he have a lusus? Is D'Crow really a lusus, or is he just some bird that hasn't managed to eat him yet? Karkat was a mutant with a lusus and he still got construction drones. There's also a mention of Boonbucks, which I should remind you is a strictly SBURB/SGRUB mechanic. It should be beetles instead. c=
O.K., now I'll finally talk about his mutation. While for my own personal tastes I don't like trolls that have their horns on their jaws for this shop I don't think it's a problem! Take a look at Atiqua! Obviously you want Rad's horns to be a bit lower, but I don't personally think they'd be a problem. Then again, I may be wrong, so if I am I want to stress again that mutant slots are hard to come by. I also want to stress that if he is considered a mutant for his horns you'd need to explain why this is a flaw for him. You really need to explain that and how Hardworking is a strength. I'm not saying they aren't, but you do need to explain. Remember that strengths are what will make others like him and Flaws are what will make others dislike him.
Speaking of Hardworking that conflicts greatly with his lazy trait. The Handy trait also conflicts with how you described it. If he's so lazy how come he keeps fixing up his hive? If D'Crow just keeps smashing it wouldn't someone as lazy as him just opt to go live in one of the abandoned buildings of OHC? A lazy troll wouldn't keep foraging for new materials and patch things up.
Moving on, could you explain what, "Then on his sleeves he has a back of orange that is surrounded by black." means? I'm not quite sure what this is describing so I think it might be a typo? Be sure to be clear on your descriptions so Ami can draw him correctly when the time comes! I also wanted to ask about his piercings. Remember, he's only a child. Would a 6-10-year-old really stick a piece of burning metal through their ears? On a more important note, the shop trolls are drawn without ears so they wouldn't show up anyway, unless they were placed somewhere else, which would still raise the question of if a kid would really do that to themselves. Then there's his bracelet. I wonder where he gets the troll bones from? Fish bones are easy to come by, just go fishing, but what about the troll bones? Does he go searching for trolls that died in the Vast Glub? You mentioned he lives in Old Hemisect so it wouldn't surprise me if there were still some skeletons lying around. Or does D'Crow bring skeletons home from his troll meals and then Rad braids their bones in his bracelet? This isn't really that important in the grand scheme of things, but I am curious. ouo
Overall I think you need to work more on his core personality section and strengths/flaws. Just rearrange things and give a little more thought and explanation into them. I hope this helped!
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:56 am
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Eco-friendly Shapeshifter
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