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 Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:33 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 9:14 pm
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Name: Chicle Placid
Chicle-is the principal ingredient of chewing/bubble gum
Placid-Placidus is the Latin word for quiet
Blood colour: #OOb2a3 Teal Blood!
Gender: Male.
Symbol:  A splat symbol, it signifies a bubble after it’s been popped.
Personality: Chicle is an odd troll. He has a weird mouth fetish that stems from his Lusus talking to him all the time. He loves it and can’t get enough of it. The way that verses carefully roll off of trolls tongues make him tremble with joy. He enjoys nothing more then watching someone talk for hours on end without him saying a word. His fetish is purely visual and he only really talks when he has too. If someone asks him a question, he’ll answer as quickly as possibly, for they can continue to talk. He talks just to keep the conversation going, other then that, this troll is pretty quiet.
Chicle wants people to like him, which have caused him to become a pushover. He believes that if individuals don’t like him then they will not talk to him, which is unacceptable. This troll is also sweetheart and cares deeply for others. He likes to help trolls in need and will try his hardest to do so. He enjoys using his intelligence to solve math an science problems for others, since that is what he is really good at. While he likes to help others, he also fails at this aspect too. If someone is coming for him for advice, he is not the troll to talk too. Chicle isn’t the one to really know about personal relationships or friendship, as he isn’t too good at them. He is much more of a worker. He’ll help if he can and the best way he can help is by actually psychically doing something.
He has pretty neutral feelings towards the hemospectrum. Chicle likes to believe that he doesn’t see color and because of this he tries treats everyone the same. But due to his pushover nature, he tends to get controlled more often by high bloods because they are used to having lower bloods cater to their will. But if a redblood needed his help, he would have no problem with helping them too. While he is a pushover, Chicle does have his limits. His mother is his all and he wouldn’t be to keen on someone attacking her or putting his life on the line for a higher-blood because he knows that his mother would be lost without him, so he wouldn’t give up his life and this goes with a lower-blood, if they needed help, then sure, but if they are outright abusing his mother or him he wouldn’t enjoy it too much.
Chicle has a few other weird quirks about him. He likes everything to be tidy and tends to shy away from people who aren’t clean and proper. If you smell bad he cannot be in the same room with you; it bugs him deeply. Because of this, he chews minty-fresh gum all the time as he worries that his breath might smell bad. He also takes baths often and when he gets dirty he tends to leave the situation quickly for he can tidy up. This is one of the only times he will talk if he has too. He will blurt out that he will have to leave and then go clean himself. This goes for everything, his mother is very clean so it might be a reason why he acts like this. His home and everything around it is in tiptop shape. He won’t kid around when it comes to cleanliness and will try his hardest to make everything as clean as possible.
One other thing that should be mentioned is that he cannot stand the sound of singing. Though the movement of the mouth while singing is lovely, he cannot stand the volume change of it. He doesn’t enjoy that it goes from soft to loud so quickly and then back again; this gives him a mild headache. He is used to the constant or somewhat constant volume of speaking and singing is just not that. He just cannot stand it and throws a mild fit (to himself) if someone starts to sing in his direction. He usually doesn’t get too mad about it, but in the case of singing to annoying him, he gets exceedingly mad. This also goes with trolls that change their volume a lot. If a troll goes from soft to loud or loud to soft too much it also makes him a bit upset. He enjoys cool normal tones even if it’s just loud all the time or soft all the time. He doesn’t enjoy when there is a lot of change to it.
Strengths:
Caring: This little troll loves to help out no matter what color you are. When someone needs him he’s there to give a loving hand. He shows empathy for all trolls and tends to cry if one is hurt really bad. He will not show any signs of not wanting to help if someone truly needs it. He will go out his way to make someone feel better because it deeply hurts him inside if someone is down.
Friendly: This goes with the idea that Chicle loves to watch people talk. He will go up to someone and say a simple hi and give him or her a giant smile. He wants to get to know people for they can talk to him so he isn’t afraid to meet new people. He will also even go out his way of not talking to ask them a few questions to get the conversation started. He likes others only because of the fact that he can watch them talk. So he is a pretty friendly but strange guy.
Intelligent: He’s smart, very smart. In smart being book smart. He enjoys math and science problems and likes to figure them out on a daily basic, which has made him very good at them. He will become engrossed in the problems and will not stop until he finds out the answer. Which makes him pretty good around books. He knows how to locate answer pretty well and scan the book for the nonsense stuff to just get to the facts.
Flaws:
Pushover: If you ask him to do something, he’ll do it without really asking questions. You tell him to come with you and do something; he’ll do that too. He is easily influenced to do anything as long as you “ask” him. He sees it as reward, because you just talked to him. He’s a troll that will do things for you over and over without wanting anything as a reward and pretty much anyone can take advantage of him.
Compulsive: Chicle is actually a pretty compulsive troll. If he sees something needs to be clean he will go do it right away and drop everything that he was doing. This is the same with people. He doesn’t think and just acts with everything. He sees someone and before even thinking he just do it. Say someone is talking to another person, he sees them and just goes right up ad start watching them and but into there conversation.
Mute: This troll doesn’t too much talk. Which can be a flaw if someone is actually trying to have a conversation with him. It’s rare for him to respond back to what you have asked of him and instead he just uses his body to gesture things. It’s not like he can’t talk, he just chooses not too. He doesn’t enjoy being the center of attention and he figures talking makes him one. He will, if he must, but this must is hard to come by.
Weapon:Squeakers: A classic toy hammer with a twisted spin to it. It has all the same qualities as any classic hammer, it even squeaks but this little guy has electrified ends. Squeaker is also enlarged and Chicle has to use both hands to hold him. So anytime squeaker’s hit an opponent it zaps the living crap out of them. Plus it also helps with the element of surprise because to others it only seems to be a toy until it hits them.
Chicle picked a toy with electrical quality because he thought it would make people talk. When other trolls see him with a toy as a weapon, most would outright tease him, which is find by him because it makes them talk. He liked the idea that it was electrical because it would frighten them and make them yell at him for being barbaric and again that’s a forum of talking, which he more then enjoys. Chicle isn’t dumb and has formed his life around the fact that he as an odd mouth fetish.
Appearance: Super duper cute little bubblegum boy!
Home:The city, of course! His house is pretty large with tons of windows all around it. He has a lot of windows for he can spy on people and watch them talk from his house.
Lusus: Tapirmom is a talkative creature, that loves to talk to her baby troll, that is in the forum a tapir and wallaby. She is pretty large and stands at the height of 8 feet. Tapirmom is rather shy and keeps out of the limelight, as she tends to get nervous around others then Chicle. She is very caring and tends to cuddle Chicle a lot, which he enjoys so much. She tends to be over-bearing with her affection and wants to keep Chicle in her line of sight or she starts to worry that he’s going to leave her. Other then that, she’s a bit of a push over and lets her baby troll get his way with almost anything. She does have a crippling fear and this is why she is shy. She thinks she is horribly ugly and tends to hide behind Chicle around other people even if he is not good at hiding her. Tapir Mom is actually pretty big. She can easily fit Chicle ontop on her lap without any problem. She is about 7 feet tall!
Chicle call Tapirmom, Mommy, well when he actually talks.
Relationship with Lusus: Chicle relationship with Tapirmom is too an extreme. Chicle loves his mommy and has a weird obsession with her. Just as she is overbearing with him, he is to her. He likes to be under her at all possible times. Listening to all she has to say and praising her like she is his god. To Chicle, no one can compare. His mommy started out his obsession and when she talks it gives him all the pleasure in the world. Without her, he is lost, unsure, and emotionless to the point where he cannot stand the sight of others. He doesn’t like being away from her more then a few hours and tends to start breaking down if it’s more then a day without him seeing her. He is extremely protective over his mommy and doesn’t like anyone one touching her. If someone does he has a hissy fit. He loves his mommy with all his heart and nothing else matter to him more other then his odd obsession with talking.
Power: Nope.
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 4:32 pm
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Hey Bunny – good start you have here. I have some comments for you!
First, keep a look out for grammatical issues in your posts, as well as typos. Read and reread his quest out loud so that you can find awkward and confusing sentences. This is nitpicky and isn’t related to his character, but it’s important that you keep an eye out: if it’s hard to understand sentences now, it’ll be harder for folks to understand details in roleplays later.
Chicle’s mouth fetish is a central part of his character, but parts of your description are contrary. If the entire reason he chews bubblegum is that his mouth is always moving, then why doesn’t he talk? Talking and chewing will both make his mouth move, which should appease his fixation unless it is completely visual – at which point chewing gum won’t give him any pleasure because, like talking, he can’t see himself chew.
You also say that he uses it to force himself to stop talking, but if he doesn’t like to talk anyway, then there’s no point in mentioning this fact because it wasn’t a problem in the first place.
“He believes that if people don’t like him then they will not talk to him, which is un-expectable.” Did you mean “unexpected?” If so, why is it unexpected? Do you mean unacceptable?
The fact that Chicle is “affectionate” and “socially awkward” in combination with being a “wall hugger” as you describe is confusing. If he prefers just to watch people for hours and not initiate in conversations, why would he ruin that by close physical contact? He simultaneously tries to help others and cares deeply for them, but does not engage in social situations in order to fulfill his obsessive needs. If he wants people to like him and is willing to conform to their social standards due to his pushover nature, how does he deal with the discomfort of those around him? Can he maintain a relationship with another troll? How can he communicate if he doesn’t listen and doesn’t speak?
Chicle “treats everyone the same”, but then when presented with a redblood and a purpleblood in trouble at the same time, he’ll help the purpleblood first. He’s not treating them as equals if he’s favoring one, even to save his own hide. Does he do this intentionally, or accidentally due to his pushover nature towards people who take advantage of him?
“Chicle has a feel other weird quirks about him. He likes everything to be tidy and tends to shy away from people who aren’t clean and proper.”
These quirks never appear anywhere else in the quest, and aren’t really that “out there”. I’m not sure why they would be mentioned unless they were significant. Does he have a form of OCD? I would elaborate if they truly are important. You could tie this into the fact that he’s always chewing minty-fresh gum to keep him smelling good (or something of the sort).
Does his dislike of singing extend to other musical things? “It’s extremely different from talking and he feels out of his element.”. I’d think the visual of singing would be really stimulating for someone with a mouth fixation. Is it the volume? What is it that sets him off? I don’t understand the last part where he feels “out of his element.”
I would definitely say that being Affectionate should be in the Strengths section, but I don’t think that touching others is a strength of character. It could potentially be a part of his Socially Awkward flaw, based upon what you said earlier about his hugs making trolls uncomfortable. Affection means warmth and friendliness as well. You could potentially split Caring and Affectionate and elaborate on the different sides to his affection, or emphasize his good body language instead, as an idea.
Why, exactly, is his weapon of choice a toy? Obviously he’s a kid, which lends itself to playing with toys, but having it converted into a weapon that electrocutes his enemies is pretty sinister and out of the blue. Does he get into a lot of fights?
In the Home section it seems as though he can listen to (watch…?) people talk while he is in his house. How can he do this? Is he that close that he can see people talk, or does he spy on them? Obviously you’re still working on this section c:
I really enjoy the basis behind Tapirmom! Keep in mind that because he’s a child, he’ll often be out and about under her care. In that situation, it would make it hard for Tapirmom to be in the social situations that Chicle enjoys so much because she has such a crippling fear of people. How does he cope with that? Can they go outside together? What can both of them enjoy out in the world, away from the hive?
“Without her, he is lost, unsure, and emotionless to the point where he cannot stand the sight of others.”
In this context, if he is in public with his lusus, Tapirmom will freak out. If he is in public without his lusus, he will freak out. If this is true, then how does he manage people watching and being around trolls? Does he just shut himself in with her all the time so that he can watch her talk and creep on others from his hive? In that case… How would he socialize?
The notes on the bottom of the page—why aren’t they just a part of his personality section? You mention the origin of his obsession with talking in the second sentence of his personality, so the second note does not need to exist. As for the first note about how he’s not a good listener – that’s really important to his personality! Incorporate it into his main profile. There’s no need for them at the bottom of his quest.
Wow holy crap I wrote a ton. I hope that this helps you, Bunny! Keep working on it!
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 7:25 am
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Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 11:39 am
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Dun dun dunnn! Mea crit ~~ O vO/
Just gunna start with some nitpicking- perhaps give your quest a bit of a proofread? The grammar can be a bit awkward at times, but it's nothing too serious. For example, in the first paragraph you wrote 'fesith' instead of 'fetish'. In the last paragraph under personality you wrote 'mention' when it should be 'mentioned', and there's various mistakes here and there. If you're having troubles noticing errors, maybe ask a friend to give it a quick skim for you!
I really like the mouth fetish! I think it's unique and quirky and all sorts of fun. The way you tied it into his lusus makes it believable. I can't wait to see how it'll develop over time. Still, I can't help but wonder a few things...! For example; if all Chicle desires for is to watch a troll's mouth movement, why doesn't he talk in order to stimulate conversation? I mean sure, there's talkitive trolls out there that would be content to talk his ear off while he just smiled and listened. But most would be confused or unsettled at his silence, at least initially, wouldn't you agree? I feel like overall he would get more mouth action if he was talking back, if only even a little bit. So maybe it needs to be reassessed a bit? I'm sure it's workable, but right now I struggle to see how day to day not talking means he gets to see more mouth movement. Does his desire to not talk just outweigh his desire to see mouth movement....?
Moving onto how Chicle shows his affections- the hugging and physical whatnot. While this makes sense, don't get me wrong, I have to wonder why he is limited to physical acts of affection. Body language and expression are powerful things; even without specifics like sign languange (nodding, shaking head, frowning, smiling, thumbs up, etc). As a near-mute I'm sure Chicle has found a way to communicate himself more than through hugs! To elaborate more, does he ever write messages down instead?
How does Chicle 'solve problems for others' if he doesn't really talk? It seems sort of situational to me. If a troll needs someone to help them move soem furniture, sure, Chicle's your man! But if someone is coming to him for relationship advice or something of that nature, his lack of communication would surely be a hinderance. It seems to me that at this stage, he would be fairly limited on how he could help a troll. Perhaps I'm wrong and you just need to elaborate more on this; two lines doesn't really cover it!
I'd like to see some more elaboration on his opnion on the hemospectrum. Mostly I'm curious as to how he'd react to spectrum-based abuse. How far could he be pushed by a highblood before his breaking point? Would he even break, or would he literally do anything to please them, including put his life on the line? If a sneaky lowblood was taking serious advantage of him somehow, how long would it go on for before Chicle smartened up, if ever?
Going into more depth about his obsession with cleanliness, is it just bodily or are his hive and lusus all neat and tidy too?
So why doesnt he understand social behaviour when all he does is watch and listen to people? I feel like he would at least have a basic grasp around it. Once more this paragraph ties into my wondering why he doesn't talk when interating with other trolls would ultimately lead to him seeing more talking. Surely loads of trolls just walk away when he doesn't answer them and just stares! Again gunna mention that body language is a powerful thing- just a simple nod or shake of the head could keep another troll talking for a few minutes. Touching isn't the only way he has to express himself! I really do feel like this social awkwardness doesn't quite fit into the rest of his persona, but maybe you can elaborate and rework it in to make sense somehow.
Just curious, if he doesnt like singing, what about loud trolls? Or trolls who yell a lot? Or things that change drastically in volume like music in general, movies or crowded places/events? This needs to be more fleshed out I think, it seems a bit one dimensional.
Moving onto strengths~!
I'm not sure if affectionate would totally be considered a strength, considering lots of trolls wouldn't like being touched? Maybe if you elaborated more on this aside from 'he likes to touch people' because I don't see that really helping him in his day to day life! Strengths are meant to be things that help a troll in everyday life instead of hinder them, and to me being affectionate seems like a 50/50 type of deal.
Intelligent is sort of a broad term, don't you think? What kind of things can he 'figure out', what is he good with? Surely not everything! Are we talking math problems, science, and machines here, or is he real good at your average, everyday problem solving? Is he book smart, street smart, people smart? How has he gathered this knowledge, and how does he actively apply it to his everyday life?
And flaws~
Like I previously mentioned, the social awkwardness just doesn't seem to be at his benifet. I simply don't see how your average troll (that he doesnt know, mind you) would keep talking to Chicle when he just stands there and stares! It really, really needs to be thought out better because as it stands, two of Chicle's major attributes clash with one another. He could be mute and still be capable of communicating and continuing the conversation, that's not an issue. but if his lack of social skills is keeping him from doing anything other than stare blankly at a troll, I don't see how he could keep anyone talking to him! As Sypon said, he does not engage in social situations enough in order to fulfill his obsessive needs
However, the bit about him following trolls around and his inability to understand personal space is wonderful.
One last question! I'm just curious as to how large Tapirmom is in relation to her kid. <: Nothing super crucial, haha.
Overall, I think Chicle is really starting to shape up! He just needs a little more editing and fine tuning and I'm sure we'll have him up and accepted in no time! > u<
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Posted: Tue May 07, 2013 2:49 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 2:48 pm
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bunnyilove Thanks for the help!
This is updated! C:
My goodness, it’s been a while. I apologize for the long wait, Bunny!
He is really shaping up based upon your responses to crits, so kudos to you for that! I still have a couple of things to say – I think that in general, you should read over your application for run-ons and again, grammatical issues. This time there are some things that you’ve added in response to crits that are quite confusing to read. Going in there and deconstructing what you’re trying to say will really benefit how the application reads.
For instance, in, your paragraph concerning his feelings on the hemospectrum:
“His mother is his all and he wouldn’t be to keen on someone attacking her or putting his life on the line for a higher-blood because he knows that his mother would be lost without him, so he wouldn’t give up his life and this goes with a lower-blood, if they needed help, then sure, but if they are outright abusing his mother or him he wouldn’t enjoy it too much.”
Phew! This is all one line! I had a really hard time translating it. Basically, Chicle loves his mother and will draw the line in terms of his push-over nature to protect her. Condensing some of these convoluted sentences will give us a far more clear idea of who Chicle is, because I think his personality is coming together nicely from what I can see.
Other things that I noticed:
His intelligence is getting there as well, but I’d like more elaboration concerning how he uses his intelligence practically. Because there’s no official education system in troll society, it’s not like Chicle will be able to help with math or science homework. So what kind of every day problems can he use his intellect for?
His Caring strength is also shaping up really nicely – but your sentences tend to be rather redundant here, like I’ve mentioned before.
The only other thing I would like to address is, again, Chicle’s weapon. The fact that he uses it on people to make them talk is really, really sinister – and I can’t imagine such a friendly, caring troll going to that length. If I’m wrong about that, you’ll need to address this sudden “barbaric”, mean streak. If I’m correct, you may want to rethink the reasoning for Chicle’s weapon.
GOOD LUCK!! You're so close, just with a few more things to alter and mostly flow related things. My endless apologies again for making you wait so long. |
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