To Fail a Friend

[drummerdudeisme]

Your words burn like fire
Your eyes cut like the blade
Help my I beg
Stop me I cry
Kill me I scream
A silent shake of your head
A soundless whisper of death
The cold of your stare on my neck
The knowing that i've done wrong
That I failed you too
That everything you hoped I was,
Was a lie.
I'm none of that and you see that now,
Don't you?
You hate that I am who I am,
That i'm me...
Kill me I scream into the cold breeze one last time
And gunshots fill the air,
One last scream as the darkness takes over,
Finally I get my peace.


I write depressing poetry >.< if you can could you give me feedback?
Copyright Dalton C****** 2012  

[Seelennacht]

Hm, I think it's alright. It could use some work though. If I hadn't read the title I don't think I would understand what the poem is about. Also, Failing a friend doesn't seem to match because to me it sounds more like betrayal.