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I know that when I was growing up, I noticed my parents being "unfair". Although, they would say, "Life is unfair so deal with it." They thought they could be unfair because life was simply unfair and that I don't agree with. I think parents need to do their best to not spark jealously between their kids and make situations as fair as possible between all the children.
I have heard that the youngest child is more spoiled than the oldest for sure. I was the oldest and the youngest always seemed to get what they want, but this was clear. I remember my mother saying, "What's the rule before going into the store?" in the car while finding a parking space at the grocery store and we'd all have to recite, "No begging, stay with mommy, and don't act up." So that rule was clear. We'd all get to the check out line and the youngest, my brother, would start begging. Me and my other sibling would be like, "Nuh uh! Mom said no begging!" and then my brother would beg enough and she bought it for him and then me and my other sibling would pick up what he got and then my mom would say, "No, not tonight." and put them back while paying for only my brother's. It happened on more than one occasion. Also, he was hardly sent to his room for getting in trouble. I got in trouble a lot for things he did because he "possibly couldn't have done that..." He complained that he ALWAYS got in trouble, which wasn't true. When he went to his room he could never handle the word, "No." When he was 16, he still threw stuff when he went to his room and sounded as if someone was beating him black and blue.
My parents could've avoided that by punishing each child according to what they actually did in a fair manner. My parents could've also stuck to their rules when they went to the store. I even was in the car with my mom once when I was older and she told me, "I spoiled your brother too much..." She feels guilt about it at times and I would usually tell her, "Then start doing something about it," and she never would. She'd talk about how things would change and never do it. Now a days, he's pretty rude, jealous of others a lot, and is greedy for money.
I remember with my sister-in-laws, my husband and I knew that my mother-in-law would get them different gifts. One sister would want what the other sister had and the other sister wasn't going to give it up. My husband while we were there and that was going on said, "Okay, how about you trade every present you got for that one toy you want that your sister has?" and she got all wide eyed and thought about it, and then didn't want it because she realized she had quite a bit herself. I thought it was an interesting way to handle the situation.
We know that they get jealous of each others stuff, so we both buy them the same gifts so that they can't argue between each other or be jealous. We will get them the same type of bags to put the gifts in so they can't be jealous over that either. You know what? There are no arguments after that xD they take what they have in peace because it's the same thing.
To counter jealousy, as far as gifts - either get the same things or get different things, and spend about the same on each child so one child's gift isn't worth a whole lot more than another child's gift. I liked the way my husband handled the dispute between my sister-in-laws so that they'd realize, "Oh wow, I'd give up a lot of stuff I got for that one little toy!" My husband talked that when we have kids, we want to make sure that on days where there are gifts - to get something that everyone can share, too. Something that is everyone's gift that they can all use at the same time, preferably.
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