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 Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:03 pm
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******** I'll put my hands up and admit this is going to be more of a rant, but if you could bare with it and give me advice, I would genuinely appreciate it.
So, I wrote a post here about me basically missing my ex - as a friend. I guess it's been over a month since we broke up. I pretty much feel over the relationship - especially helped by the fact I realised I was actually miserable for probably 80% of the time.
The issue was I can't bring myself to forgive him for what he did to me as a friend, which is pretty much he tossed our friendship in the trash when he decided to go for me as a rebound. So I thought about, and talked to some friends, and they did agree that it made sense what I said - I was going to try slowly becoming friends with him again, since I can't exactly forgive him if I'm not even talking to him. ((Please bear in mind, he did say he was interested in trying to be friends again))
So...now to actual point. I added him again on facebook yesterday. He accepted. And then sent him one message (it literally said "Hey thanks for the add. How are things?").
He hasn't replied.
The thing is I'm not upset, ready to curl up into a ball and start crying. Oh no. I am fuming. I have restrained myself from sending a second message cos I honestly have no idea what to do.
The logical part of my brain is trying to convince the rest of me that he's probably just busy, so I really shouldn't get so annoyed. The problem is it's that part of the brain that also made me stay in a relationship where I was miserable 80% of the time. So then it's a tie with ignore message and continue on with life, or send massive, angry rant calling him out on his top-notch douchey behaviour, as someone I know who prides himself on trying not to be douchey.
Regardless, I do know a day and a half is too soon to be double-messaging, but please give me a calmer point of view. Honestly, for the guy I knew, this still seems out-of-character, but then again, after everything's that's happened, I'm starting to feel like I don't know him at all. I'm just too confused and angry right now to sort out anything in my head.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:42 pm
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Yikes, sounds like quite a mess. im not sure if i completely understand the situation but from what i do understand my advice is this:
-Wait for him to respond before being enraged. If he is serious about being friends again then he will reply, if he isn't then forget about him cuz, from what i can see, he doesnt deserve to be your friend.
-Ive been in the whole being a rebound for your friend position and its not fun or pretty. Being a rebound never is. It will take time and i do support you slowly being his friend again. But, if i were you, i wouldnt be as mad as you are about it. Give him time and he should come around if he is serious about it.
- also with him not being himself, perhaps something is going on with his other friends or in his family. Or maybe he has changed?
Lastly, im sorry if my advice doesnt help or isnt what you wanted to hear. Im not you and i dont know the full extent of the situation... im also not good with words so if anything confuses you, let me know. i understand the need to rant so if you ever need anyone, PM me, i will be more than happy to help as best i can. smile Best of luck to you! Hope all ends up well. smile And i hope i was at least a little helpful.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:43 pm
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:06 pm
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Gennabug Yikes, sounds like quite a mess. im not sure if i completely understand the situation but from what i do understand my advice is this: -Wait for him to respond before being enraged. If he is serious about being friends again then he will reply, if he isn't then forget about him cuz, from what i can see, he doesnt deserve to be your friend. -Ive been in the whole being a rebound for your friend position and its not fun or pretty. Being a rebound never is. It will take time and i do support you slowly being his friend again. But, if i were you, i wouldnt be as mad as you are about it. Give him time and he should come around if he is serious about it. - also with him not being himself, perhaps something is going on with his other friends or in his family. Or maybe he has changed? Lastly, im sorry if my advice doesnt help or isnt what you wanted to hear. Im not you and i dont know the full extent of the situation... im also not good with words so if anything confuses you, let me know. i understand the need to rant so if you ever need anyone, PM me, i will be more than happy to help as best i can. smile Best of luck to you! Hope all ends up well. smile And i hope i was at least a little helpful.
See this is why I need a calm point of view xd He was having some family issues towards the end of the relationship (it's part of the problem why things got so bad - he'd just moved back home, and basically his dad's a controlling a** who wouldn't let him leave the house to visit me. I didn't know that my ex wanted to meet up to break-up with me, but it meant the whole thing got dragged out another week). I don't know if he's changed - I don't feel like he did, but I know that he does have a tendency to shove his head in the sand if there's something he doesn't want to do. I know cos I do the exact same thing sweatdrop
Trust me, you have been helpful, so thank you 3nodding
jesusgirl115 He is probably just busy with life, or trying to think of what to say. He may feel a little awkward or worried about saying the wrong thing. I'd give him another day or so : )
I know this in my head but...I still couldn't help getting wound up by feeling ignored. I'm usually good at putting myself in other people's shoes, but I was just way too annoyed to do that. Honestly, I know if this was me, I'd probably want to put off replying for a bit as well...But thanks again for taking the time to reply - I really appreciate it smile |
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:08 pm
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Pengi-sama Gennabug Yikes, sounds like quite a mess. im not sure if i completely understand the situation but from what i do understand my advice is this: -Wait for him to respond before being enraged. If he is serious about being friends again then he will reply, if he isn't then forget about him cuz, from what i can see, he doesnt deserve to be your friend. -Ive been in the whole being a rebound for your friend position and its not fun or pretty. Being a rebound never is. It will take time and i do support you slowly being his friend again. But, if i were you, i wouldnt be as mad as you are about it. Give him time and he should come around if he is serious about it. - also with him not being himself, perhaps something is going on with his other friends or in his family. Or maybe he has changed? Lastly, im sorry if my advice doesnt help or isnt what you wanted to hear. Im not you and i dont know the full extent of the situation... im also not good with words so if anything confuses you, let me know. i understand the need to rant so if you ever need anyone, PM me, i will be more than happy to help as best i can. smile Best of luck to you! Hope all ends up well. smile And i hope i was at least a little helpful. See this is why I need a calm point of view xd He was having some family issues towards the end of the relationship (it's part of the problem why things got so bad - he'd just moved back home, and basically his dad's a controlling a** who wouldn't let him leave the house to visit me. I didn't know that my ex wanted to meet up to break-up with me, but it meant the whole thing got dragged out another week). I don't know if he's changed - I don't feel like he did, but I know that he does have a tendency to shove his head in the sand if there's something he doesn't want to do. I know cos I do the exact same thing sweatdrop Trust me, you have been helpful, so thank you 3nodding jesusgirl115 He is probably just busy with life, or trying to think of what to say. He may feel a little awkward or worried about saying the wrong thing. I'd give him another day or so : )
I know this in my head but...I still couldn't help getting wound up by feeling ignored. I'm usually good at putting myself in other people's shoes, but I was just way too annoyed to do that. Honestly, I know if this was me, I'd probably want to put off replying for a bit as well...But thanks again for taking the time to reply - I really appreciate it smile
You are more than welcome. smile IM or PM me if you ever need help razz |
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