Social and emotional damage.

[Her Malevolence]

closed. Thank you for your help  

[broken_bleeding_angel]

First of all, you don't have to worry about this popping up on anyones page anywhere. Unless your parents have some kind of tracking device set up on their computer or your friends (if they are on Gaia) are quoted in the forums, no one but us guild members will see this. Some will comment, most will read and move on. Not out of not caring (for some, I can't speak for all) but because someone else has said something that they themselves would have typed out for you.

I am no shrink, but to me it sounds like you have social anxieties. You and I have a lot of similarities. I don't like personal contact, even from my parents. I don't have a good relationship with my parents either. (Despite still living in their house at the age of 22.) Elementary school was a living hell for me from grade 3 to when I graduated. I have few friends in real life. And out of the few that I have, only 2 of them have I ever considered to be truly good friends to me.

But anyways, my advice, for had you still been in high school, would be to take a Drama/Theatre class. I took it when I was in high school and it helped me with mine. It helped me to hold my chin high, let my voice be heard, and not be so uncomfortable around people. Mind you I still am here and there, especially in situations where I know no one around me, but it's not hard to smile at them.

If you want to open up more to people, you'll have to show it. And the best way for people to know that is through body language. If you have your head down, you avoid eye contact (too much can be intimidating, I get that.) and basically close yourself off form people no one will approach you. Keep your head high and smile, you give others the sense of openness and warmth that makes them want to know you and in doing so they will sometimes approach you and might even start a conversation.

If you can, and if it is available to you. Join a club or social activity that requires you to talk with people. You clearly want to reach out to people, and this post was a good step for you. You just need to slowly take things further. Baby steps will eventually turn into leaps.