Ooh, a gift, for me? [Divorce ;; Advice please]

[SSSSSSNinja]

Easter. I'm twelve. Happy Day. My older sister picks me and my twin up from our grandma's house (thank goodness she lives two hours away and not states away) and as we're driving, my older sister saves my life. Really. She starts leading us on that we're being told somethng at home. We start guessing, "Is it medical, political, physical, etc." Amber, our older sister, says that it does have to do a little bit with money. Then she says something about their marriage. I immediately say in a jokingly way, "Did Mom have an affair?" Amber didn't say no. Then she drops the bomb. "Mom and Dad are having a Divorce." You don't know surprise until that happens. I did not speak. I did not hear. I did not breathe. I rotated my head to the window, watching the wildlife, and I did not speak. I did not question.

It is now Summer. The only thing about this that benefits my parents is that they are talking happily and there is no stress. What have I learned from this divorce?

My mom has lied about it since December. Everyone knew, but no one spoke.

I can't trust my mom completely because of the above, and I don't know if I ever will.

Mom is rooming in an apartment in town with someone she used to work with and his daughter.

Amber keeps making me think Mom had an affair.

What can I do to feel better about this?

 

[Emo Pankakes]

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I think that the best advice that I can offer you is to try and be optimistic and remember that it's not your fault, nor is it something that you have control over.

My parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten, and because of this most of my childhood memories are of them fighting and how much I blamed myself. They thought that they were keeping me in the dark about everything, but it didn't work.
Years later I found out that my mom was having an affair for about a year prior to the divorce, and she ended up married to the guy and having two more kids.
These are all things that are out of my control. Had I been a few years older I would have noticed and not blamed myself as much (my mother had the nerve to introduce me to the man on Valentines Day the year they got divorced, about 5 months prior to the divorce).

Sorry, I am kind of rambling here, but long story short I ended up harboring a resentment for not only my self, but my mother, step dad and half brother for years before I came to terms with the fact that I had no control.
There was nothing I could have done differently to change the situation, and I wish I could have known that sooner.

If you ever need to talk about the situation you can always PM me <3

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[-the-purple-skittle-]

This might seem like the worst thing that could of ever happened at the moment.
You might feel lost and like you don't even really know your own parents. ...
But the only reason she hasn't been more honest is because she cared alot about you guys and probably didn't want this to happen in the way it is.

In the long run this is the better decision for everyone.

Once the family and your father have moved on from the ordeal i bet you any money the enviroment will be better and everyone will be happier.

Focus on your own life, your friends and your education, dont make this a bigger problem than what it should be because you would regret that.  

[Aspirins And Alcohol]

same thing is happening with me except its my dad.
Tho I am 25 I am in the same boat and I have no clue how to dealw ith it either.
when it was happening i ignored it untill my mom sat me down and told me. so yea im not much help, but i do honestly know how your feeling, and once i know how to make myself feel better, Ill let you know. I tihnk maybe the best thing to do is to stay close with your family, if you cant forgive your mom, dont totally force her out of your life, becuase you never know how you will feel in the future and stay close to all your family becasue they are you family.




thats all I got