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 Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:51 pm
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 Name: Nictor Sabbat
Nictor- It’s close to nectar. He couldn’t pronounce his own name correctly as a wriggler, and decided he like the mispronounced version better when he was older, so stuck with it.
Sabbat- … the only thing I can think of is it derives from ‘ Sabbath,’ known as the day of rest in one religion of earth’s culture, and thus reflects his almost lazy habits.
Blood colour:YELLOWBLUD >:U (hex: b3b100)
Gender: Are you a boy or a girl?
BOY
Symbol: Nicknamed the ‘smiley fry.’
Personality/Bio: Nictor is a rather straight forward and laid back individual, content with life. His personality is a welcoming one, and he is rather accepting of others, preferring not to judge. This yellowblood isn't the most talkative either, but it isn't that he doesn't like conversation. He just isn't likely to initiate one. The thing about Nictor is that he tends to slip by unnoticed or fades into the background. He’s not particularly memorable, unfortunately, and is rather unambitious. He often gets in little arguments with BEEHEMOTH about this, but nothing really changes. He can’t help it. As for temper issues, Nictor seems void of them. Criticism to his person will make him loose some of his subtle cheer, but he is more than willing to share his flaws and takes no issue with his skill in combat, or lack thereof, being insulted. The only times he starts getting irritated are when you insult his lusus, and the only time he truly find it in himself to become angry is when one insults his lusus in regards to his leg injury. But then again, no one really knows about that incident, so no problems there. His facial expression is almost always a relaxed smile and sleepy looking eyes, reflecting his nature quite well. While Nictor really doesn’t get mad or agitated often, he does get huffy and pouty, but in a disappointed, rebellious way than a ‘GRAR ANGRY. HULK SMASH’ sorta way. Mostly this happens when his lusus gets naggy, but he has been known to do it to other trolls if they start pushing at him or are really gunning for a confrontation. Nictor also will employ the ignore-and-evade method if you get on his bad side. Bad side meaning people who are mean and he doesn't really wanna be around. The only thing is that he is hilarious when he’s upset because he kinda makes a puffy cheeked face and flails a bit. So it is funny to poke fun at him, but try not to overdo it to the point of convincing him that you hate him. Nictor is easy to scare, and it’s the easiest way to make him flustered, but he quickly enough resumes his usual persona. He actually makes a good companion because he is complacent to go along with the ideas or plans of others, as long as it’s not murdering or idiotically dangerous. Stupid is okay though. He is familiar with stupid. As a matter of fact, Nictor is an example of a smart troll being perfectly capable of making stupid mistakes. He isn't dumb or anything and thinks quite clearly (when he is thinking), yet often does stuff impulsively or acts on a whim. He thinks this comes from his lusus, who often acts in a way that for a troll would be considered rash. He can’t really provide much of a reason why he’ll do stupid stuff even if he knows it’s dumb other than there’s a sense of familiarity to it and it’s impulsive. Nictor kind of reacts first, thinks later is a situation or problem is sprung on him. If he is allowed a clear mind while being presented with an issue, he can work through it. You could say he doesn't have the most self-control then when it comes to his whims and impulses, and that tends to lead to trouble. He prefers to think of it as he acts rashly because it can be amusing. Overthinking life gets you no where. Being cautious is fine and all, but it can suck all of the thrill out of life. Nictor prefers to think of it this way than he has a problem, seeing as how it’s caused no major damage to him. He and BEEHEMOTH would wind up doing silly things all the time when he was younger and they turned out to be some of the most amusing times they’d ever had together.
A good amount of what Nictor does is based on the fact he wants to do it than other motives. He wants to have some fun or do something amusing, so he’ll go along with the first idea that comes to mind. If it’s not exactly the smartest idea, well, impulsive. It bothers him sometimes,but for the most part Nicotr accepts it as a facet of who he is and leaves it there. He’s not particularly inclined to speak his mind, or be rude, or wanting for violence, so he feels as though it shouldn't be to large of an issue. He has BEEHEMOTH, after all.
Hobby wise, he isn't the most interesting. He does enjoy staring up at the stars and contemplating. Nictor can also sew and do some first-aid, but that’s not a hobby really, but necessity. Actually, that's a bit modest. He knows a fair bit about medical treatment due to having to patch up his sorry a** all the time. And his lusus on occasion. They really did belong with each other. They were both messes. He has dabbled in art, and continues to do so occasionally, but only because it makes BEEHEMOTH happy to see his troll draw pictures of him. Nictor has also gone exploring in the caves and caverns of underground tunnels, but at the risk of getting lost, BEEHEMOTH forbids it, even if Nictor does have a great memory. Besides a like for exploring and fleeting interest in art, Nictor is more than happy to sit down with a good book. It’s not like he has a large stock of them though. Every so ften he’ll get his mitts on one, but once he’s done, it’s back to the same listless routine. You could say he doesn't really have much of a hobby, but that might be due to a lack of effort in searching for one, or in the case of exploring, it’s a bad idea to adapt that activity as habit. Most of his time is spent at home, sleeping or wasting time, or trying to find a weapon mentor, which hasn't yielded luck thus far, but he’s optimistic. Mostly.
Nictor doesn't have much in the form of a quirk either, unless you consider being stupidly klutzy a quirk. He is the troll that when he says he fell down a flight of stairs and broke his face, is telling the perfect truth. As a matter of fact, the scar on his face was from an accident of his own making, as were the ones on the palm of his left hand, and most of the ones hidden under his clothes.
Being a yellowblood, his opinions aren't held in any particular prestige, and as a matter of fact, he doesn't have many either, but the ones Nictor does have are fairly strong, considering the matter. He is, as said, a rather open troll. He does find the hemospectrum to be more than a bit silly, and is sickened by the fact of life that lowbloods get abused so much. Nictor tries to avoid the subjects as much as he can, finding them disturbing and unsettling, thus preferring to keep them away from the forefront of his mind. As far as highbloods go, he isn't too sure how he’d react to meeting one. He’s never met one before, but he thinks he’d try his best to get along, as nervous as he might be at being around a troll he’s not heard many positive things about. The idea of one of the more cruel highbloods beating a lowblood make him sick to his stomach, so as said, he avoids the issue as much as he can.
Nictor has had many a disheartening discussion with his lusus about his lack of companionship, which often leave him a bit disheartened. He doesn't really know how to meet new trolls, and the few he has known before have moved or died. He wouldn't mind friends, but actively looking for a troll to fill a quadrant with holds little interest with him.
Still, being lonely sucks.
When he was a kid, he’d always have BEEHEMOTH by his side, who was happy to spend time with Nictor, and vice versa. They always have gotten along well and encourage and support each other. The two have always had a close bond, but as Nictor’s grown older, his lusus has been able to leave him alone more often, needing to go out and feed and making honey to market off in town. It’s a difficult transition for the two, and they’re working on it, but both usually get more than a little antsy if the other is gone from the hive for more than a few hours if they don’t know exactly where the other is going. As a kid, Nictor would have to look out for his lusus a bit, and has only gotten a bit more protective as time has worn on, especially after the accident with his leg. While BEEHEMOTH lost faith in his ability to take care of his troll, Nictor saw it for the accident it was, and gets a little pushy with his lusus whenever BEEHEMOTH starts stewing on it. He never wants his lusus to be sad over a mistake that happened while trying to protect him, so does what he can to keep BEEHEMOTH content. His lusus means everything to him, so it’s understandable he gets a little riled if you begin poking fun at the big lug.
BEEHEMOTH has always been fully accepting of his little troll, and in turn, Nictor thinks that attitude rubbed off on him, which he thinks to be a good thing. Some other traits he’s picked up aren't the best, such as acting first, thinking later, but Nictor thinks he’ll survive.
Considering who Nictor is, it isn’t all too surprising how reliant he is on his lusus, and how dangerous that dependency is. The yellowblood tends to think his survival of the Cave as a grub was a fluke and dumb luck. He isn't very violent or driven, but he can think and he has speedy reflexes, which are probably the main factors that got him through. More likely than not, he got though the Cave with as little confrontation as he could manage and didn't get squished thanks to reflexes. Heck, his impulsiveness probably actually managed to help at some point, but the whole thing is pretty fuzzy and his mind by now and he doesn't feel too inclined to think on it.
 Strengths:
Quick Reflexes- Despite his failings at coordination, Nictor’s reaction time is impeccable. If he wasn't as quick as he is, he’d probably be dead… Okay, no, he would be dead, no ‘probably’ to it. Being quick counts, especially when it’s the only thing you can rely on, so Nictor keeps in practice and in shape. And by in practice, I mean they get a fair bit of use from his slip ups due to his klutziness. His reflexes are probably what got him through the brooding cave, but he can’t remember that far back completely. He does have a feeling that’s a correct observation though.
Level headed- Nictor thinks and processes quite thoroughly when he is thinking. When he does something stupid, he is quite aware that it is stupid somewhere in his mind, but his body moved ahead without him already. Which isn't quite so admirable, but in a bad situation, a troll that can keep their head is a valuable one. He can keep himself calm and reasonable, which used to be extremely important when he was younger when he’d need to direct BEEHEMOTH on finer points of strategy. Meaning anything aside from 'charge it.' His advantages here tend to show up more when he’s already been dropped into trouble and survival is at stake of figuring things out. You could say he’s good at thinking on his feet, if that helps.
Sturdy/Resiliant- And boy is he glad for it. With all the, ah, accidents he encounters, he has to be. Even with a close to crippling leg injury, he still gets around with only a small limp, but he often passes it off as a good amount of exercise to rehabilitate himself and a good chunk of time since the injury.
Sound in himself- Basically, Nictor is comfortable with who he is. He knows what he’s good at and what he’s not good at and he’s okay with it. Of course, there are still a few insecurities, there is no way to escape the niggling little doubts, but he is happy with who he is, and has no plans to change himself to fit the wants of anyone else.
Flaws:
Super klutz- Also referred to as accident prone. He trips and stumbles and knocks into things and it’s a miracle his horns and teeth are all intact. Still, it is a quality of his person that is frowned upon. Nictor doubts his coordination will improve much when he gets older, so he’s learned to live with it.
Incapable- In reference to combat. And he knows it. Being battle ready and capable are a key points of survival for every troll, so if one isn’t too good in that area, they won’t be looked upon with kindness or sympathy. Nictor is well aware of his failings here, and tries to work his way around it. He’s just never been too inclined to want to cause injury, and he prefers ‘escape and evade’ to ‘kill it.’ That and his clumsiness makes it likely that he’d hurt himself sooner than he’d harm an enemy.
Unambitious- Many a troll look down upon those with no focus, like Nictor. He hasn't found any real calling, mostly just drifting about Chittentown, doing what he needs to to take care of his lusus and himself, but otherwise, not striving for anything in particular. He may pick something up one day, and discard it the next, despite how many times he has been advised to pick something and stick with it.
Impulsiveness- While he may be quick on his feet, he does stupid stuff. It’s really quite ridiculous and it makes him even more of a liability. It’s natural to him to follow through before fully thinking ahead, much like it is for BEEHEMOTH, becoming the other part of the issue. As it is within his nature to be rash, it's a little difficult to quell the whimsical urges to do silly things or something plain out dumb. If anything, the sense of adventure he gets out of it is more of an adaptation to his own nature so he won't become bothered by his own actions and stress too much.
Weapon:
Okay, let’s be honest here. Nictor is crap at fighting and he knows it. Thus, his usual methods involve clawing, hissing, throwing rocks, and running, not necessarily in that order. He likes to think that’s why he got such a kick-a** lusus, to make up for his lack of ability in combat, rather than he got a strong lusus because he is supposed to be strong too. He usually shrugs off the question and the bit of uncertainty that accompanies it, deciding that he’d find out eventually.
Still, weapon wise, he once used a serrated short sword. He has no clue who thought that’d be a good thing(well, BEEHEMOTH, obviously, but he doesn’t blame the guy, it did look cool), and after a few bodily injuries, it was discarded in favor of a bo staff, which he will need to upgrade later on to a staff with some sort of blunt heavy end or something. Definitely no blades though. Blades and Nictor don’t mix well. First he needs to learn to handle something simple, at the least. He should be learning to use it, but the weapon usually gets lost in his hive or forgotten, so throwing rocks it is.
Actually, he's not bad at chucking rocks or random debris to slow down any aggressors as he retreats to the safety and shelter of his hive, but learning to aim took time. And practice. And failure. And a few injuries and slips that wound up with him hurting himself. But he's gotten better! He's decent at it, but there's still the stray throw every so often.
Nictor so far has managed to get by on chucking rocks and strategic retreat. Even he knows this is a terrible method, and has run out of rocks a few times, turning “strategic retreat” into “mad dash home and get BEEHEMOTH to kill the offending asshat.” He always rummages around the house after these sorts of close calls, looking for his bo staff. Some days he finds it, sometimes not. He then attempts to get used to it, but usually whacks himself and gets disappointed in himself.
He knows he’s gonna get himself culled one of these days. What he needs is a teacher. He finds the bo staff comfortable in his hands, but his coordination issues just love to bite him in the butt, so self-teaching isn't really the best thing for him.
It’s actually kind of despairing, because he’ll need to change to something more effective in the staff family once he gets the hang of the bo staff, which could take some time.
He often looks for a mentor of sorts when he’s roaming Chittentown, hoping he could find someone to give him some guidance. He may not be the most determined or committed of trolls, but he wants to learn to use a bo staff and intends on doing so.
Appearance: Nictor has a thin sort of build, but not sickly or gangly thin. He’s also a little on the tall side, which probably doesn't help with the clumsiness issues. Along the left side of his face is a jagged sort of scar that starts up on the side of his forehead, cuts through an eyebrow, and ends near his jaw. All over the palm of his left hand are jagged scars, and there’s one on his right leg too. Under his clothes are occasional scars, usually from his wonderful tendency to get himself injured doing the most menial task. However, the worst scar is a huge messy impalement on the back of his left thigh, with some scarring on the front where the offending object pierced all the way through. The limp from this injury has faded for the most part, but in cold weather, it would be likely to hinder his movement a fair bit.
Like all trolls, he has grey skin, jet black hair, orange horns, and like most, black clothes embellished with grey and his blood color. See the picture for reference to horns :U
His hair is fluffy looking, with bangs that sweep around and frame his face and shorter tufts for the rest of his hair save a thin braid that reaches about mid-shoulder blade on his back.
His clothing consists of a baggy, comfortable hoodie, a plain black sleeveless shirt underneath, loose cargo capries, and pair of hiking boots of sorts. See reference pictures for color placement.
His symbol is displayed on the pouch of his hoodie, if that needs to be specified :B
 Home: Nictor has made a home in the desert, near the edges of Chittentown, allowing him to house in a hive of his own rather than a communal hive stem. Good thing too. He’d have probably been kicked out anyway for causing a racket knocking into things.
Either way, smartly enough, his home is rather Spartan, and what possessions he does own, he keeps to the edges of the rooms where he is less likely to trip over them.
The upstairs acts as the home to his lusus, and Nictor rarely ventures up there for the sole reason he doesn’t want to fall on stairs.
More details to come :U
Lusus: Nictor’s lusus is a large male bee/moth hybrid of sorts, thus nicknamed BEEHEMOTH.
BEEHEMOTH is protective of his charge and looks after him, but he’s not the smartest lusus around. He is a bit scatterbrained and not the most knowledgeable about what is and isn't dangerous to have a young troll doing. After all, he’s huge compared to troll. He just forgets it occasionally and doesn't realize what may be safe for an over-sized insect to do might not be good for a troll. BEEHEMOTH is a an excitable lusus, and takes great pride and joy in his troll, but can be a little pushy and overbearing but often realizes Nictor can get by. After all, Nictor was the one who would usually be able to remember the paths back out of caves they explored or figure out ways out of tough spots.
BEEHEMOTH often acts in a rash way, getting an idea and following through, not really realizing it may not be the best thing to do. He may be a bit forgetful, but he has the same sort of upbeat manner Nictor has, probably more so, and is happy to show his emotions. BEEHEMOTH often doesn’t realize if he’s done something stupid until it’s pointed out, but Nictor has never held it against the big guy, which BEEHEMOTH is especially thankful for, especially the since the leg incident.
Either way, BEEHEMOTH does his best in caring for and raising Nictor, and much like his charge, is aware he isn’t the strongest in some areas, one in particular being his smarts. BEEHEMOTH encourages Nictor to read and gather knowledge and information, and tries to nurture the affinity that Nictor has picked up for reading. BEEHEMOTH is also fiercely protective of his youngling and more than willing to chase off offenders. Besides that, he tends to become flustered whenever his troll is injured, even if it’s a little scrape, and if happy that Nictor knows how to patch himself up, even if the reason why he had to learn wasn’t the best.
BEEHEMOTH need the same patch ups from time to time too, getting into trouble himself with other lussi(?) when he goes out to feed.
Together, Nictor and his lusus make quite a pair, BEEHEMOTH often being a little scatterbrained and not the smartest lusus, but Nictor wouldn’t want any other to be his caretaker. While they both have their flaws, they make a pretty good team.
To make some beetles(troll currency), they sell the honey BEEHEMOTH makes in town, though these trips often lead to the dreaded nagging about finding something Nictor wants to do with himself.
Power: PFFFFFFFT, no. |
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:52 pm
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.:: Story time ::.
The leg injury-
His leg injury, you ask?
Well, this is something that isn’t spoken of, especially not between Nictor and BEEHEMOTH. It was the lesson that taught BEEHEMOTH that his troll was probably a better caretaker than he was though, which caused the lusus much disappointment and often makes the big guy insecure about his standing with Nictor. Still, he raised an honest and smart troll, so he expects that Nictor will let him know if he is truly bothered by the accident.
Right, the accident.
Well, it has already been stated that BEEHEMOTH is a bit scatterbrained and probably not the smartest and doesn’t think his actions through the best. This becomes especially true when he becomes focused on a single task. Other factors begin to get ignored, as long as he fulfills his directive.
One such directive was to get the stray night crawler beast out of the hive. Nictor had been resting late that day, and BEEHEMOTH had left to feed. Unfortunately, as protective and loving as the lusus was, he made mistakes. Everyone makes mistake. This was a big mistake though. A very bygone when your troll isn’t the most skilled at combat, still very dependent on their lusus, coordinated as a sack woolbeasts trying to unicycle on a wire, and asleep.
BEEHEMOTH left his upstairs hive door open.
Upon returning to the hive a few hours later, loud noises could be hear, along with insect like clicking and the yells of one particular yellowblood. Frantic and outraged that something was threatening his troll, BEEHEMOTH rushed inside. Upon reaching the downstairs, he found a nightcrawler beast of sorts that was half his size. Which was still far larger than Nictor.
Nictor was turned the other way, having tripped and was getting up, bo staff in hand.
The large insectoid beast turned away from its prey, sensing a danger and hearing the threatening thrum of wings.
The night crawler beast decided to retreat. But not before BEEHEMOTH decided to attack in fury, not even recognizing his troll on the other side of the enemy, only that his troll had been targeted as prey and he had to protect.
It didn’t turn out as planned.
The night crawler beast bailed, finding it to not be the best idea to hang around with a creature twice its size in a murderous fury. Nictor has just risen to his feet though and BEEHEMOTH had already charged. It was too late to fully stop his momentum, and before he even realized it, the lusus had stabbed the only thing he cared for through the leg, injuring him rather than protecting him.
Nictor has choked on a scream, unable to collapse, for that would cause more problems, but barely able to stand, trembling and whimpering as bits of poison seeped into him from the barbs on BEEHEMOTH’s stinger.
BEEHEMOTH was freaking out, trying to calm his troll, and used his legs to cupport the young one, holding him up and taking his weight. After a few minutes of frantic thought, BEEHEMOTH fled the hive. Nictor was barely conscious and in enormous pain, letting out a noise of protest and agony any time he was jostled.
BEEHEMOTH took them to the nearest medical center, one the two had frequented when serious injuries had occurred, such as the serrated short sword from long ago getting lodged in Nictor’s face. The medical staff there managed to remove the young troll from the lusus’s stinger, but it left a gruesome injury behind.
BEEHEMOTH still feels guilty over the whole thing, and has striven to be a better caretaker from then on. Nictor on the other hand spent most of his time for a good half a sweep working on getting over the injury to the point where he could operate normally again, with barely a limp left behind. He was lucky that the stinger hadn’t gotten embedded too far and hadn’t caused any permanent damage that would have crippled him.
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:53 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:54 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:56 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:58 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 2:03 pm
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Mea crit ~ * U*
I see a lot of wording/grammar errors; a proofread would help out!
Why does he get so upset when his lusus is insulted? you dont talk much about their relationship. nor do you elaborate on this leg injury anywhere- you need to include all relevent information in his quest. nictor must have a strong bond with his parent if it's the ONLY thing he'll get upset about, so it's pretty important to make clear why that's so.
you also mention that nictor's rash personality stems from his lusus' behavoir. thats all you say- please discuss this more. what is his lusus like, how is he more rash than an average troll? how has his lusus formed the habit in Nictor? beehemoth seems protective so I'm struggling to understand where this stems from.
what does nictor think about highbloods? are they alright as long as they arent abusing lowbloods? where are his limits? i think his opinion on the caste system needs a tad more elaboration.
@strengths:
'reflexes' isnt really a strength but like, fast ones are. xD Just needs to be worded a tad better. What does 'in practice' mean, though? How does he train his reflexes, he doesn't seem to be terribly active. i do think that his clumsiness works if he naurally has great reflexes; the two balance each other out!
level headed: perhaps go in a bit more detail, since you primarily talk about a more negative aspect of this trait. Also, why does Nictor go through with stupid/impulsive/rash behaviour even if he knows it's ridiculous?
@flaws:
'combat failure/liability' is sort of all worded oddly, it might need to be rewritten? I get what you're trying to come accross, he isn't very apt with a weapon. I think you might need to find a new name for the flaw, both of those sound weird. Why is he bad at fighting? Is he weak, does he just not want to fight, is it because of his clumsiness? Try and elaborate on why he isn't good at fighting while keeping it independent of existing traits.
he acts rash 'just because he can'. for a logical, unambitious troll, this seems a little out of character for me. this needs a little more explaination!
@weapon: this is where Nictor's official weapon is made note of. it's used in battles, and you need to chose one kind of weapon for him to use! while your little blurb is fine and all, it is unclear which weapon you have chosen to be his official shop weapon (and they cant be rocks... anyone can use rocks to defend themselves in character, this is where you choose which type Nictor will use through every stage) just make it a little more obvious, bold it any put it after 'weapon'- did you chose bo staff?
@appearance just note that at the 'teen' stage the troll's symbol is displaced centred on their chest, no biggie im sure ami would deal with that when she drew the art
@lusus I love his name haha, I laughed aloud when I read it.
several times you mention his lusus, and how important he is to nictor and yet there isnt much ON his lusus. i pointed out some of this in 'personality', and while you dont need to fill this section out much at all if beehemoth is relevent to major traits in Nictor perhaps you should flesh him out a bit more.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 6:45 pm
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Ahh, yeah =w=;; That....happens a lot when I type. Unfortunately. I fix anything whenever I catch it though.
Mmm, I'd been meaning to add in/address a few of these things already, but this acted as a good prompt to get my hind end in gear XD
Anyway. I went back and added in a description of their relationship for both ends (under personality and lusus), hopefully it's satisfactory.
Quote: When he was a kid, he’d always have BEEHEMOTH by his side, who was happy to spend time with Nictor, and vice versa. They always have gotten along well and encourage and support each other. The two have always had a close bond, but as Nictor’s grown older, his lusus has been able to leave him alone more often, needing to go out and feed and making honey to market off in town. It’s a difficult transition for the two, and they’re working on it, but both usually get more than a little antsy if the other is gone from the hive for more than a few hours if they don’t know exactly where the other is going. As a kid, Nictor would have to look out for his lusus a bit, and has only gotten a bit more protective as time has worn on, especially after the accident with his leg. While BEEHEMOTH lost faith in his ability to take care of his troll, Nictor saw it for the accident it was, and gets a little pushy with his lusus whenever BEEHEMOTH starts stewing on it. He never wants his lusus to be sad over a mistake that happened while trying to protect him, so does what he can to keep BEEHEMOTH content. His lusus means everything to him, so it’s understandable he gets a little riled if you begin poking fun at the big lug. BEEHEMOTH has always been fully accepting of his little troll, and in turn, Nictor things that attitude rubbed off on him, which he things to be a good thing. Some other traits he’s picked up aren’t the best, such as acting first, thinking later, but Nictor thinks he’ll survive.
Quote: BEEHEMOTH is protective of his charge and looks after him, but he’s not the smartest lusus around. He is a bit scatterbrained and not the most knowledgeable about what is and isn’t dangerous to have a young troll doing. After all, he’s huge compared to troll. He just forgets it occasionally and doesn’t realize what may be safe for an oversized insect to do might not be good for a troll. BEEHEMOTH is a an excitable lusus, and takes great pride and joy in his troll, but can be a little pushy and overbearing but often realizes Nictor can get by. After all, Nictor was the one who would usually be able to remember the paths back out of caves they explored or figure out ways out of tough spots. BEEHEMOTH often acts in a rash way, getting an idea and following through, not really realizing it may not be the best thing to do. He may be a bit forgetful, but he has the same sort of upbeat manner Nictor has, probably more so, and is happy to show his emotions. BEEHEMOTH often doesn’t realize if he’s done something stupid until it’s pointed out, but Nictor has never held it against the big guy, which BEEHEMOTH is especially thankful for, especially the since the leg incident. Either way, BEEHEMOTH does his best in caring for and raising Nictor, and much like his charge, is aware he isn’t the strongest in some areas, one in particular being his smarts. BEEHEMOTH encourages Nictor to read and gather knowledge and information, and tries to nurture the affinity that Nictor has picked up for reading. BEEHEMOTH is also fiercely protective of his youngling and more than willing to chase off offenders. Besides that, he tends to become flustered whenever his troll is injured, even if it’s a little scrape, and if happy that Nictor knows how to patch himself up, even if the reason why he had to learn wasn’t the best. BEEHEMOTH need the same patch ups from time to time too, getting into trouble himself with other lussi when he goes out to feed. Together, Nictor and his lusus make quite a pair, BEEHEMOTH often being a little scatterbrained and not the smartest lusus, but Nictor wouldn’t want any other to be his caretaker. While they both have their flaws, they make a pretty good team. To make some beetles(troll currency), they sell the honey BEEHEMOTH makes in town, though these trips often lead to the dreaded nagging about finding something Nictor wants to do with himself.
I think it gets the point across, but I'm probably biased. The rashness issue has been addressed, though I'd dunno if you'll find it satisfactory enough. That tends to be a facet of personality that doesn't always make sense. It's more like the person(or troll in this case) thinks logically and rationally, but sometimes they just do stuff that they would normally deem as stupid without really realizing it.
Quote: Nictor is an example of a smart troll being perfectly capable of making stupid mistakes. He isn’t dumb or anything and thinks quite rationally, yet often rashly does stuff or acts on a whim. He thinks this comes from his lusus, who often acts in a way that for a troll would be considered rash. He can’t really provide much of a reason why he’ll do stupid stuff even if he knows it’s dumb other than there’s a sense of familiarity to it and it’s often fun. Being cautious is fine and all, but it can suck all of the thrill out of life. He and BEEHEMOTH would wind up doing silly things all the time when he was younger and they turned out to be some of the most amusing times they’d ever had together. A good amount of what Nictor does is based on the fact he wants to do it than other motives. He wants to have some fun or do something amusing, so he’ll tell his logic to stuff it and go with the flow until he needs to stop or wants to stop.
I've done this(acting rashly), and I still don't know what I was thinking @___@ In a way, that comes down to just wanted to. I added that in and find it to be a reasonable explanation, but, eh.
The leg injury story was still being straightened out, I've put up the summary of what happened. It's in the second post :B
As for the highblood issue, I added in a little bit more, but I truly think he can't form a concrete opinion as he has never met one before and the subject doesn't face him in everyday problems.
Quote: As far as highbloods go, he isn’t too sure how he’d react to meeting one. He’s never met one before, but he thinks he’d try his best to get along, as nervous as he might be at being around a troll he’s not heard many positive things about. The idea of one of the more cruel highbloods beating a lowblood make him sick to his stomach, so as said, he avoids the issue as much as he can.
As for the strengths and weaknesses, that stuff was part of my to do list, since I know I'm not the best at explaining things and his profile might have been a bit disjointed.
For reflexes, I pretty much do mean it's almost nature's gift to counteract his clumsiness. And by practice, I mean he gets a good amount of it tripping up and managing to catch himself or getting something launched at him and catching it or avoiding it.
Quote: Reflexes- Despite his failings at coordination, Nictor’s reaction time is impeccable. If he wasn’t as quick as he is, he’d probably be dead. Being quick counts, especially when it’s the only thing you can rely on, so Nictor keeps in practice and in shape. And by in practice, I mean they get a fair bit of use from his slip ups due to his klutziness. His reflexes are probably what got him through the brooding cave, but he can’t remember that far back completely. He does have a feeling that’s a correct observation though.
Note: This doesn't make much of a difference in the leg injury story as he had been panicking because there was a wild beast in his hive, he was trying to get away, he had managed to avoid it so far,a dn hearing his lusus, he'd probably begun to relax a bit and feel safe. Being stabbed int he leg by BEEHEMOTH was completely unexpected for him.
The level headed issue should be addressed up there, as should the liability one and rashness.
Quote: Level headed- Nictor thinks and processes quite thoroughly and rationally. When he does something stupid, he is quite aware that it is stupid. He just does it anyway. Which isn’t quite so admirable, but in a bad situation, a troll that can keep their head is a valuable one. He can keep himself calm and reasonable, which used to be extremely important when he was younger when he’d need to direct BEEHEMOTH on finer points of strategy. Meaning anyhting aside from 'charge it.' Liability- And he knows it. Being battle ready and capable is a key point in survival for every troll, so if one isn’t too good in that area, they won’t be looked upon with kindness or sympathy. Nictor is well aware of his failings here, and tries to work his way around it. He’s just never been too inclined to want to cause injury, and he prefers ‘escape and evade’ to ‘kill it.’ That and his clumsiness makes it likely that he’d hurt himself sooner than he’d harm an enemy. Rashness- While he may be level headed, he does stupid stuff. Mostly because he can. And this is seen as completely ridiculous. It makes him even more of a liability and can get him into serious trouble, even if he is unlikely to do this in a clearly serious situation. He likes the sense of adventure one can get from acting, and it’s natural to him to follow through before fully thinking ahead, much like it is for BEEHEMOTH.
The bo staff is his chosen weapon and has been bolded.
If there are still problems with the adjusted profile, it'd be awesome if you could let me know. Otherwise, I think I've addressed everything P: |
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 2:29 pm
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hey there! nictor is shaping up, but i think he needs a tad more fine tuning before acceptance!
once more, 'reflexes' isn't a strength, it doesn't make any sense. change it to 'fast reflexes' or something along those lines, everyone has reflexes.
'liability' doesnt fit either- it is closer to the word 'burden' which isn't an independant flaw at all! i suggest looking for alternative words that make more sense! thesauruses are your best friend smile
perhaps something like 'feeble' or 'vulnerable' would work better.
and how does nictor try and work around his failings?
i see what you're getting at with his impulsiveness a little clearer now. would you say nictor is a hedonist? even though he's aware X action is stupid or dangerous he does it simply because it's fun, so that mindset makes sense to me! maybe throw that in there if it fits?
"it’s natural to him to follow through before fully thinking ahead" (in rash)
level headed means you have a good sense of judgement and a clear thought process; as in you think things through fully.
this is the polar opposite of level headed, don't you think?
i'm still having issues with nictor's rashness vs his level headedness, i think it contradicts one another.
some of the things you've written directly clash against each other!
so maybe keep an eye out for discrepencies like the one above, give him another proofread and take out any redundancies.
but that doesn't mean we can't make it work!
if nictor was fully aware what he was doing was stupid and still did it anyways because it was fun (see: hedonism) I think his personality would work. But as he stands it still just isn't making sense to me.....!
my own personal suggestion would be to take out level headed or change it to something along the lines of 'calm', you mention he knows what he's doing is stupid elsewhere anyways. then make him a hedonist, adding it into personality. smile but it's really up to you; there's a way to make Nictor be the way you'd like him too but it's just a matter of making it make sense!
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 4:03 pm
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In regards to the point on reflexes, I guess I felt it was self-explanatory without the 'quick' or 'fast' added into the title of it. Since it is categorized under strengths, it would imply that his reflexes must be greater than average reflexes or deserve extra attention, and I mentioned in the description of that particular strength that his fast reflexes act as a save for him most times.
But, that is a difference in opinions on how it should be clarified, and I understand that I may want to make the intentions of mentioning his reflexes more clear by adding to the title of the strength.
A liability, by the definition I'm using, is something disadvantageous. This is a bit too vague and thus why I think fixing it back to 'combat liability' would be perfectly acceptable. I'm not sure why it wouldn't be.
I personally would rather not make it 'feeble' or 'vulnerable' as both have much more negative connotations than I'd like to have associated with him. They imply not just a single weakness, but overall weakness, as those traits will often refer to both the physical and mental states of the described person.
'Feeble' would actually make even less sense to be a part of Nictor's character. Part of his strengths is that he is sturdy and another is sound in himself. This would make calling him feeble, either physically or mentally straight out contradictory.
'Vulnerable' might work, but doesn't convey what I'm trying to say, or at least that’s how I feel. That, and he isn’t quite vulnerable. Saying he is vulnerable to injury would be the same as saying he is open to attack, which is not what is being stated about his person.
As for Nictor working around his failings, that is another thing I find to be a given, looking at his application as a whole. His personality indicates he is aware of his failings and accepts them as a part of who he is. Aside from that, his strengths, coincidentally enough (I honestly didn't notice this when I was first making him), counterbalance quite well. Level-headed to impulsive, saying he can be rash and act out of line, but he is capable of common sense and good judgement should it be called upon. He may be klutzy, but he's sturdy enough that he can deal with the damage he accidentally deals himself. His fighting skills may be severely lacking, but his reflexes keep him from being doomed by this failing. While he's unambitious for the most part, he is however sound in himself, happy with who he is, even without a distinct directing with his life.
I would like to state this plainly and clearly. No, he is not a hedonist. Maybe an adrenaline junkie in some ways, certainly prone to rash decisions or impulsive action, but nowhere near a hedonist. He’s closer to a people pleaser. He won’t arbitrarily decide to go do something extremely dumb just for the sake of having some amusement. But he will go along with less than intelligent ideas given the risk to injury behind it isn’t too high.
However, I do not find this quirk to his personality unbelievable in the slightest bit.
As a matter of fact, I’m much like this myself. I’m a rational person, I think things through clearly, and avoid stupid ideas that risk injury. I do have a tendency to be a people pleaser though, and won’t fight plans or ideas without enough of a reason, such as the risk being too much. I also have a horrible tendency to be impulsive or rash at times. I control this urge in most cases, but every so often my mouth or body will pretend it has the go ahead and I’ll say something I really shouldn’t have or do something that is completely idiotic.
I have been nurtured to be in control of myself however, and it may be more in my nature to think things through.
For Nictor however, let’s take a look.
It is already a part of his nature to react. He’s also more inclined to do before thinking it through all the way. He’s also a bit whimsical and go-with-the-flow. So, as I’ve said, impulsive or rash. Tack on that his lusus is impulsive, lending reaffirming nurture to his nature, and this sort of trait is not something Nictor can easily shake, even as rational and level-headed as he can be.
That, and for the most part, as a troll that is mostly willing to go with things, he isn’t inclined to try and force a strict, uncomfortable control upon himself simply because his nature is a bit odd.
Moving on, level-headed means having common sense and sound judgment, or just being plain out sensible. Now, in the description of this particular characteristic to his person, I specified this is more prominent under stressful situations, where he would enforce more control upon an impulsive nature and make sure to be thinking clearly, putting his sound head to good use. While these traits are a little bit clashing, I again, find them reasonable, since different facets to someone’s personality emerge given different circumstances, and it is specified in both the description of ‘level-headed’ and ‘rashness’ I specified that given a bad situation, he will act more under the influence of his level-headedness rather than his rashness.
You say you’re having trouble accepting Nictor’s nature and personality, but I find I must point out, as a virtual walking oxymoron myself; a person’s personality does not always make sense. People, or in this case, trolls, are not linear and static. Personalities are dynamic and curious things that have so many attributes to them.
I’m also curious as to why you added in the ‘look out for redundancies’ when mentioning clashing personality traits, since that means to say the same thing over and over again, not contradict what one might be saying.
Perhaps this reasoning has helped clear up your confusion over Nictor? I’m hoping so, because I’m not too sure how else to say it.
I would especially appreciate feedback over this response to your crit so I can figure out how much really needs tweaking. I’m anxious to get him accepted so when aA gets around to drawing Nictor up, he’s a ready to go and approved troll.
Also, sorry for how long this took me to get typed up and posted. RL has been a pain, as of late.
*Changing ‘Rashness’ description and title (to 'Impulsiveness'), by the way. Hopefully that’ll help clear this up a bit more too. |
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Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:05 am
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Hiya, I do crit thingies sometimes too. smile
First off, it's worth noting that there are some grammatical issues throughout the profile! I know it's kind of tricky to get all of these ironed out sometimes(there'll probably be a couple in this crit), but it's worth re-reading to make sure everything flows smoothly! One I caught of particular note just because of how amusing it is was
Taki-di BEEHEMOTH has always been fully accepting of his little troll, and in turn, Nictor things that attitude rubbed off on him, which he things to be a good thing.
I think you got sort of hung up on "thing" there, heehee.
But yeah, I'm not gonna point all of those out, more important things to address!
The most important thing I think I need to address is the issue of his rationality, or lack thereof!
You cannot be a rational, level-headed person and still do things you know to be stupid just for laughs.
You can be smart and do things you know are stupid, but you cannot be rational and do them. That is literally the opposite of being rational--there's more to it than just being able to think clearly! And I'm sorry, but "people don't always make sense" is not really an acceptable excuse to keep a blatant contradiction. By that logic we'd have to allow pretty much anything, because hey, people don't always have limitations!
On the subject on contradictions, you seem to contradict yourself a lot throughout the profile. More specifically, you downplay everything at first. You say he doesn't have any hobbies, but then immediately list several things he does to serve as hobbies.
This also contradicts his unambitious flaw to a degree; people who lack ambition to find their calling generally lack it because they have other things they prefer doing. If Nictor doesn't work and he doesn't play, what does he do?
You do the same thing with his opinions. You say he doesn't have any, but then go on to talk about his feelings towards the hemospectrum, which seem pretty strong.
It's like you understate everything before going into detail and revealing it as an understatement. I'd remove those quips, personally(the "he doesn't have any" parts, not the parts where he has things. Characters without opinions and hobbies are boring! P: )
And I'm going to have to agree with Mea on liability not making much sense. Listing it in the flaws makes it sound like he's the liability, not that he has one. If you don't want the other connotations of weak, you could simply explain afterwards that you don't mean mentally. "Unskilled" would also work, and incorporate more than just his lack of combat skills.
(and just a quick touch on the combat area, you may want to give him a slightly different weapon. They're required to be considered deadly, and seeing as how just about everything on Alternia is a good bit more durable than on Earth, a plain bo might not cut it. Perhaps add a blade in some form or another, or a weight on the end for the sake of giving it more lethality as a blunt weapon)
And like Purp, I'd like more elaboration on how he's survived thus far. Throwing rocks likely wouldn't do much to Alternia's tougher creatures, seeing as how bullets didn't even seem to phase them in canon, and running extended distances seems like it'd be mighty tricky for such a clumsy troll. Moreover, staying out of trouble entirely seems unlikely considering his penchant for going with stupid ideas, so explanation would be appreciated!
Alright this post is getting to be pretty huge so I'll call it quits for now, but yeah!
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:55 pm
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Mmm, apologies for taking a while to address this crit =w=;; Real life is a pain and I haven't been able to do what I want as of late.
Alrighty, let's see.
Yeah, that is a bit of a trend with my typing, unfortunately. The hunt-and-peck method probably isn't the best for making sure everything is spelled correctly, but I'll fix anything I catch.
Each person has their own perspective of believable and non-believable, and I find no problem with the contradictions, because to me, I find the explanation hat people do not necessarily make sense more than enough. But for you, maybe not, and maybe not some others in this shop. Who knows. But,t hat's beside the point really, because I think this is more of an issue of mis-communication. I tend to be a bit disjointed in my explanations and writing. When I type up a personality or explanation, I tend to adopt the perspective of the character a bit, incorporating their view of the issue a bit, which might obscure my meaning some. Either way, I've gone back and edited that some to hopefully clear that up. It's more so, he can take in a situation and think though what he should do, but he's usually in the situation because he acted impulsively. He likes to think of it as he's doing it for fun, but it's actually his own lack of control over his own actions on his first impulses.
These matters of perspective get odd, but I stated that he doesn't really have much of a hobby because he doesn't, and that he doesn't have many opinions on the hemospectrum because he doesn't. He only really has a few things to say on it, otherwise it's open, but uncomfortable territory. He doesn't think on the subject much, and so hasn't formed many opinions other than he doesn't like the idea of torturing low bloods and high bloods make him nervous thanks to rumors and such.
As for hobbies, hobbies are things one does for their own enjoyment or for relaxation. He does some art only because BEEHEMOTH gets excited and giddy over it. Not because he is inspired or likes it. He can sew and act as medic on the field, so to speak, but those are necessity, not choice or for fun. He likes stargazing and thinking, but he doesn't consider it one, I really don't either, but I guess it could count? Eh, perspective. Exploring, while is something he enjoys, isn't healthy, so he doesn't do it very often. Due to the irregularity, I wouldn't consider it much of a hobby. Still, alright.
Mmm, in regards to his lack of ambition, that kind of extends to hobbies too. He tries, but as is mentioned, he'll pick something up, try it, and drop it within a few days. He wastes a lot of time because he genuinely has no clue what to do with himself, but I did add in that he tries looking for a weapon teacher a lot. Hell, a good chunk of time is probably taken up by his daily injuries and patching up.
Well, that was kind of the point of saying he's the liability. He is the problem. But, again, a matter of perspective on the matter I would think. Either way, adjusted to hopefully be acceptable.
I also think this problem might be more mis-communication. He's listless and sticks around safe areas to the most part. Every so often, he'll go wandering off, get into trouble, and flee back home. He has his resorts for self defense, and over protective lusus on call most of the time, and thinks on his feet. He doesn't wander off too far because that would be suicide, not just whimsy. He doesn't expect the rocks to kill, just distract. He tries to stay out of trouble, and most of it is caused in his own hive than in places that he could die in. As also stated, he is pretty damn sturdy and has great reflexes.
But, thank you for your input and suggestions~ ;D |
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