|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 6:07 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:32 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 1:33 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:10 pm
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/posts/say/say_b1_p.gif) |
I laugh to hide the pain. When I laugh, which is only around my friends, they don't seem to notice, so it's working. My laughs aren't real. I never smile to anyone else, or laugh at their jokes. If I'm alone, and I see something funny, I may just smile, or laugh if it really is funny, but never in public. Everyone makes me tense, because of all those preps out there. You say your good at something, they say they're better. I can't smile because I can't trust anyone but my friends... that's why I only smile to them. I should learn not to fake my laughs because it annoys me... and makes me feel guilty for giving my friends hope that I'm still who I used to be, before I turned to who I am now. I used to be a geek, but this school year, too many things have happened. I found my first love [which, I have said many times, has reject me and I still love her], bullied around too much, parents not caring about what I think, only what they think. It was too much, so I just cut myself one day and I thought it felt pretty good. Felt like I was letting out my heavy baggage. Then I started buying darker clothes, tighter pants, and a stud belt. I even left my hair long. Everyone said i changed, and I have. Thanks to them and everyone else, I'm not the geek I was. I can stand strong. I can kick the ******** out of those preppy anti-emos and stick a gatling up their a** and pull the trigger. I'm not scared of them. Throw a ******** ball in my face for all I care. I don't give a d**k, because I won't get angry and I won't cry because I can stand it. Everyone I've known has hardened me, from my soft geeky self to turn like this and stand for myself. I know no one would help me. My friends back off when they see an obstacle too big. So I stand for myself. I trust no one but my closest friends that would help me. If they don't like how I've changed, it's they're ******** fault because they're the ones who caused me to turn like this, so if they really care about me, show it because that's what I need, but maybe it's too late because I don't trust anybody much. They're the ones who caused all my sadness and sorrow and made me like this, cutting myself and burning myself while I listen to emo music and write poetry about how it hurts when my love rejected me.
|
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
|
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/template/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/template/s.gif) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:19 pm
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
Eieni I laugh to hide the pain. When I laugh, which is only around my friends, they don't seem to notice, so it's working. My laughs aren't real. I never smile to anyone else, or laugh at their jokes. If I'm alone, and I see something funny, I may just smile, or laugh if it really is funny, but never in public. Everyone makes me tense, because of all those preps out there. You say your good at something, they say they're better. I can't smile because I can't trust anyone but my friends... that's why I only smile to them. I should learn not to fake my laughs because it annoys me... and makes me feel guilty for giving my friends hope that I'm still who I used to be, before I turned to who I am now. I used to be a geek, but this school year, too many things have happened. I found my first love [which, I have said many times, has reject me and I still love her], bullied around too much, parents not caring about what I think, only what they think. It was too much, so I just cut myself one day and I thought it felt pretty good. Felt like I was letting out my heavy baggage. Then I started buying darker clothes, tighter pants, and a stud belt. I even left my hair long. Everyone said i changed, and I have. Thanks to them and everyone else, I'm not the geek I was. I can stand strong. I can kick the ******** out of those preppy anti-emos and stick a gatling up their a** and pull the trigger. I'm not scared of them. Throw a ******** ball in my face for all I care. I don't give a d**k, because I won't get angry and I won't cry because I can stand it. Everyone I've known has hardened me, from my soft geeky self to turn like this and stand for myself. I know no one would help me. My friends back off when they see an obstacle too big. So I stand for myself. I trust no one but my closest friends that would help me. If they don't like how I've changed, it's they're ******** fault because they're the ones who caused me to turn like this, so if they really care about me, show it because that's what I need, but maybe it's too late because I don't trust anybody much. They're the ones who caused all my sadness and sorrow and made me like this, cutting myself and burning myself while I listen to emo music and write poetry about how it hurts when my love rejected me. me and you have the exsact things hapening to us but instead of being hardened it has weakened me.....ive lost the will to stand up for myself..............
|
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/posts/say/say_b3_p.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif) |
|
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/template/s.gif) |
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/template/s.gif) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
![](//graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/template/s.gif) |
|
|
|
|
|