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 Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:06 am
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My best fried died about three weeks ago, the time seems to fly, I've never gone so long without talking to him. I am a pretty tough girl, tough as nails, being alone didn't bother me, when I spoke to him it was because I wanted to because I cared, I didn't need to. He made me happier than anyone ever could, ever has. He was so funny and could always make me smile, he wasn't my world but most of the time it felt like he was the best part of it. I only knew him for about a year and a half, but we talked just about everyday. I can't even believe he is gone.
When I met him we were on hawaii, he was my coworker, haha his nametag said Jesus, and me being totally intelligent asked how the hell it was pronounced it was a mexican name and he said that in mexican culture people named Jesus had the nickname Chuy and I told him I would call him that from now on. After a month of sitting at the doorway of the store asking for donations for charity passing notes between the table to the floral department we became pretty good friends. Little did I know what an important person he would become in my life.
I was nuts, emotionally unstable, stressed out, just complete spaz, he helped me out so much, he was patient, he was brutally honest, when I needed him he was there for me. And today I am a completely different girl, I am strong tough, I can do anything handle anything. It is just so hard that I have to use what he taught me to deal with his death. He just meant the world to me. He moved away last november, I left that december, to the mainland, he went off to Portland I did worry about him, I just wanted him to be healthy happy and safe, but in the end it seems he wasn't any of those things. I spoke to him that friday, I tried to speak to him Sunday night, I just guessed he was at a party or something. But Monday I saw it, his family and friends all posting rest in peace and all of those things. The worst pain of all just overwhelmed me. The one thing I loved the most, was gone, he wasn't coming back.
Meningitis got him. I was too far away to go to the funeral, its just been me. My parents know how much it hurts. I try not to cry in front of them. Being alone just used to be so much easier when it was a choice. I just wishe he knew how much I missed him. I was just blessed that he always knew how much I cared how much I loved him. How amazing I thought he was. It just doesn't seem fair. It hurts so much sometimes. The memories are easy, thinking of a future without him in it is the hard part.
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:59 am
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:22 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:24 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:31 pm
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Gigi Deveraux Candied Cupcake Gigi Deveraux emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug I'm so sorry... emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug Its alright, thank you for the hugs. I am not upset a lot it is just hard having to live without him. It's kind of like a great big hole, isn't it... emotion_hug
That part of me isn't missing, it is just different and I have to deal with that change |
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Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 7:30 pm
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