Friend Issues. Advice Appreciated.

[Jinxed Tarot Card]

So I have few friend issues right now and I'm not entirely sure how to approach them, so I figure it's time to ask for help.

1. I've know this one girl for a really long time, a few years actually, and our friendship has been slowly getting worst for the last two until it's gotten to the point it is now. She used to respond to my messages, but now she just flat out ignores me and I have no idea why. At first I was making excuses for her, "maybe she forgot to respond", "maybe she doesn't know how else to contact me and thinks I'm not active on the site any more". So I sent her a message with all of my contact info in it. No response. I also found out that she got an MSN Messenger account and didn't even tell me, even though I had been trying to get her to use an instant messenger for years!

I've basically had enough and I don't know if I should confront her about the way she's been acting towards me, or just forget about it and move on.


2. I have another friend who I don't get to talk to much, but they always respond to me when I talk to them on an IM. However, I'm always the one to contact them and they never try to contact me first. They also stop talking to me if I try to talk about anything serious with them. =/ Other than those things, it's a good friendship. I just don't know how to fix these problems before they become big and ruin it.


3. I seem to have some sort of recurring curse where friendships start off good but then eventually turn very one sided before ending altogether. I'm starting to think it's something I'm doing, but I have no idea what it could be. D= I've even had someone who I was really good friends with basically start to troll me for no reason. Which forced me to stop all contact with them. I also had someone give me an ultimatum after I hadn't talked to them in almost a month even though I explained that I had been sick for 3 weeks...

This is seriously starting to concern me.  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

Well, for situation #1, I'd say just save your energy and cut your losses.

Situation #2, they're fair-weather friends. They aren't interested in listening to your problems. There's a lot of people like that, I'm sorry to say.

Situation #3, is also really common. That person who cut you off even though you couldn't contact them is really self-centered, to say the least.

I don't think I have any real-life friends in my area I could trust to be there for me if I needed them, and the people I know I can trust... I can count them on one hand, and one of them is close family.

It's sad, but it seems this is the world we live in now. sad  

[Frezeal]

Before I answer this, have you met these people face to face? No where in your situation states that you've actually met these people.

Better advice could be given if I knew if these are internet relationships or not.  

[MiracleRayray2]

I know people like this and it is sad. i have a few friends can count them on just one hand. they are all a year younger then me. (that does not matter) i guess what i am trying to say is it hard but let them go.  

[Jinxed Tarot Card]

Gigi Deveraux

Thanks for the advice. I don't think I could even count the people I trust on 1 finger. Which is kinda sad, really.

Frezeal

These are internet relationships. However my friend in the second situation and I actually do want to meet up with each other, we just don't have the money or time to fly to a different country. We send each other stuff in the mail, though.

My IRL friendships tend to fair worse, actually. So I've almost given up on making friends that way. >_<

MiracleRayray2

Thanks. I usually don't get to have friendships that last so long, so it is hard to just ditch people because of communication problems.=(  

[Amai Ashi]

Jinxed Tarot Card

These are internet relationships. However my friend in the second situation and I actually do want to meet up with each other, we just don't have the money or time to fly to a different country. We send each other stuff in the mail, though.

My IRL friendships tend to fair worse, actually. So I've almost given up on making friends that way. >_<

Internet relationships are a lot harder to keep together since you cannot go to where they live. Also, it is just possible they are just getting more involved with their real life and moving away from their internet life. It's how it ends up eventually.
I don't really have any real life friends and have a lot of internet friends. There are a lot of friends that I used to have on the internet that I lost contact with because they went on to do other things or got busy with their real lives. For example, I had a really good friend that I talked to everyday and played an online game with but she ended up having some issues in real life then got married and got pregnant. I tried to keep talking to her but she rarely replied and then stopped replying at all.
There are also some people on the internet that I be nice too just because I don't like to be mean, so they end up thinking I am their friend. They keep trying to talk to me but eventually I start ignoring them little by little (mainly because some of them are really annoying). This happens mainly with the people on my online game.
Just don't take it too hard, with internet relationships these things happen, especially because many people don't take online relationships seriously.  

[Jinxed Tarot Card]

Amai Ashi

Thanks for the advice and I'm sorry you lost contact with your friend. =(

I can relate to being nice to people in online games and them getting the wrong idea. Just because ya help someone out once with a quest doesn't mean you want to join their guild or be friends. v_v

The majority of my friends have been on the internet, too. I was homeschooled up until college and I also live in a very remote area, so there aren't exactly many opportunities to make friends or hang out with people IRL.

I'm exactly the same online as I am offline and I don't even like going out, so there isn't much of a difference for me between the relationships.

It sucks that people don't take online relationships seriously. Just because you're on the internet doesn't mean you aren't talking to real people.  

[Amai Ashi]

Jinxed Tarot Card

Amai Ashi

Thanks for the advice and I'm sorry you lost contact with your friend. =(

I can relate to being nice to people in online games and them getting the wrong idea. Just because ya help someone out once with a quest doesn't mean you want to join their guild or be friends. v_v

The majority of my friends have been on the internet, too. I was homeschooled up until college and I also live in a very remote area, so there aren't exactly many opportunities to make friends or hang out with people IRL.

I'm exactly the same online as I am offline and I don't even like going out, so there isn't much of a difference for me between the relationships.

It sucks that people don't take online relationships seriously. Just because you're on the internet doesn't mean you aren't talking to real people.

well I guess I would say I have some friends in real life but I have not talked to them since I graduated high school and even back then they would never invite me places or want to hang out outside of school. People don't take online relationships seriously because they think "i'll never see that person for real so it doesn't matter". But I met my husband on an online game and I have 3 friends from the online game that I have known for about 4 years now that I still talk to.  

[Gv get dxrvh lkkjvgcf]

I know losing friends is tough, trust me I do. But I think of a little saying I heard a while ago and it surprisingly helped me out more than I though it would!
- Remember: Every friend you lose is not the end of the world. But the last words of their character in your story. -

I thought this was really cute and if they weren't meant to stay in your life, well then they were making room for someone else who you'll become closer too. Even though they might be gone, be happy of the times you spent with them. -When my old best friend stopped talking to me I couldn't figure out what had happened and before it we were inseparable! It just so happened that she simply wanted to go back to her old friends. But through all of this, her old best friend is now one of my closest friends who I know I can share anything with.
Hope this helps a bit!!