Mountain Pass Witch

[ThatGirlWhoWrites]

The morbid tale I shall relay is this:
A woman’s story at a winter fire.
The clouds stretch jaws around the moon and kiss
Surrounding mountain swells as they desire.

Her story chills the bodies of the live,
Who wander lost throughout her mountain pass.
Those lives who hear her fable won’t survive;
‘Til moonlight shines through souls like brittle glass.

She speaks of those, who, purged from their graves
Renounce their bones and to her duties pledge
Allegiance to become her darkest slaves
And follow her through fields of cypress sedge.

Those spirits that she lures into the night,
Wait patiently ‘round fires burning bright.  

[ThatGirlWhoWrites]

I am an avid Shakespeare fan, and so I'm proud to say that this is my first sonnet ever, inspired loosely by Macbeth.

This is a sonnet about a witch who lives in a dangerous mountain pass. She lures people to her with warm fire and vivid stories, but those same things enchant the souls of her listeners to do her bidding and serve her as eternal slaves, leaving their bodies behind forever.

Hopefully this is the last poem I share for a while, since I should be working on my book instead. The other poems on here just made me want to write, and poems usually come quickly.

Enjoy and critique. heart  

[Night Kunoichi]

I really liked it. Unfortunately, I have no constructive to provide as poetry is something I'm lacking in at best. But I can say I particularly loved the last two lines. :3  

[ThatGirlWhoWrites]

Night Kunoichi

I really liked it. Unfortunately, I have no constructive to provide as poetry is something I'm lacking in at best. But I can say I particularly loved the last two lines. :3

I would love to read some of the poetry that you write. I'm sure it's fine. smile And this is a good start for improvement, if you'd like constructive criticism.

And thank you for the compliment. heart I'm glad that someone likes my poetry, because I wasn't able to write it either for quite some time.  

[Night Kunoichi]

ThatGirlWhoWrites

Night Kunoichi

I really liked it. Unfortunately, I have no constructive to provide as poetry is something I'm lacking in at best. But I can say I particularly loved the last two lines. :3

I would love to read some of the poetry that you write. I'm sure it's fine. smile And this is a good start for improvement, if you'd like constructive criticism.

And thank you for the compliment. heart I'm glad that someone likes my poetry, because I wasn't able to write it either for quite some time.

Lolz well I actually don't have any poetry to share. XD I don't think i've actually FINISHED any poetry since my freshman year in high school and that was because it was for a grade. XD I did TRY to write one last night based on a drabble I posted here and then I remembered why I don't write poetry. XD  

[ThatGirlWhoWrites]

Night Kunoichi

Lolz well I actually don't have any poetry to share. XD I don't think i've actually FINISHED any poetry since my freshman year in high school and that was because it was for a grade. XD I did TRY to write one last night based on a drabble I posted here and then I remembered why I don't write poetry. XD

biggrin ! I read that drabble! It looked like it would make a really lovely poem, if you split the imagery into line and stanzas. You could always try, and if it doesn't work out, then oh well.  

[Night Kunoichi]

Haha I think it still could but with a more experienced hand than mine. XD Although the two lines that rhymed in the drabble were completely unintentional. XD After about an hour of trying to make a poem of it, I gave up.