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Homestuck inspired troll related b/c 

Tags: homestuck, troll, breedables, mspa, alternia 

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==> Ferrum ≡ Claudo ⇞ orange blood [Crit!]

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grayseasons

Tiny Trickster

PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 1:21 pm

                            Name:
                            Ferrum Claudo
                            [claudo;; latin for "lame"
                            ferrum;; "iron" in latin ]

                            Blood colour:
                            An orange yellow color ▇▇▇▇▇▇ #e9a912
                            Gender:
                            Male

                            Symbol:
                            Alchemy symbol for iron ⇞Click

                            Personality:
                            Ferrum is a quiet troll and often seen as very serious when is he isn't talking, as his face quite often leaves him to looking slightly intimidating. When spoken to though, he talks back politely and kindly, smiling the whole time. He isn't past being friendly to others and will occasionally tease, trying to make someone smile. But while this is usually seen to customers of his, Ferrum is quite honestly rather paranoid and doesn't trust others easily, making him hard to be friends with. Talk beyond business, blacksmithing, or other topics he's knowledgeable of leaves him with long silences as he analyzes what the other troll is saying, trying to detect a hidden motive behind their words.

                            However, once you gain Ferrum's trust you are sure to not lose it. While hard to get, he proves to be a worthwhile friend, loyal and willing to go to any measure to help the other out. Still kind, he teases much more then before and talks a little more, but still retains his quiet personality. It's also more obvious he's quite ambitious, wishing for nothing more than to get a job making weapons and jewelry for the high bloods when he's older. He works hard at this, putting in many hours at the shop to get much better at what he does, and while he doesn't remember how he got into blacksmithing, he assumes that it developed from his lusus's habit of staying in fires and a run in with a troll mending his weapon. The memories are a little fuzzy, he admits.

                            However, being a low blood, Ferrum quite often doesn't have enough to get the materials he needs. His income from making weapons and other things, especially in a technology driven town like Chittentown that needs the metal, while is good, it doesn't cover all the things he needs and he has gotten into a habit of pick-pocketing from trolls in the town and making shady deals. He admits that it's desperate and despicable but his ambition for what he wishes to do overwhelms his sense of good and he does these shady things commonly, albeit with much guilt following.

                            Also, Ferrum quite commonly is interested in medical texts, looking to be obsessed over burns and muscle atrophy, along with just general injury treatment. While he hides it well, Ferrum's left leg is considerably weaker than his right, due to a very bad incident that left the leg horribly burned. Taking a long time to heal, his left leg was never the same afterwards and over time the muscles atrophied, leaving him to rely more on his right. He keeps a brace on this leg and it allows him to rely on it more, but he occasionally must resort to using a metal cane when the pain gets bad. His leg hinders him rather badly at times, as it tends to randomly freeze up, making him unable to move it and along with random flashes of pain that quite often have the effect of making him drop whatever object he's holding. Also during worse days it can be a dead weight, dragging around on the floor and making him stumble on objects he didn't see lying there, almost making him land on his face if not accomplishing the act of making Ferrum drop what he was holding. Often Ferrum will wake up with the hope his leg will be okay today and he will be able to move around with minimum pain. It has also hindered his speed greatly and he's unsure if it will get better at all, as it has slowly been getting worse over time, with it giving him pain more than he would like to admit. It's quite obvious this is where his paranoia stems from, as he is afraid that this disability being found will lead him to his death, if not completely hinder him from doing his job.

                            Ferrum is very knowing of his place on the hemospectrum and it is how he found his ambition to work for highbloods. He's eager to please the highbloods, doing anything and everything for them mindlessly like he thinks a proper lowblood should act. While he hasn't encountered one in a long time, he's sure to flip back to his eager to please politeness with one if he does again. While he is still paranoid of many trolls, the Highbloods especially, it's them he makes an exception to in being more polite and obedient to despite the paranoia. It's his respect of the highbloods that drives him to insane measures to perfect his craft, in the hope that if he is considered the best metalsmith out there, they will overlook his disability and hire him to work for them.

                            Strengths:
                            "What? This isn't so heavy."Strong
                            Years of working with metal and other heavy tools has left the troll with incredible strength. He's able to pick up quite heavy objects easily and is able to lug around much without breaking a sweat, making his job much easier. This strength is however sometimes hindered by his leg, as it can occasionally get it in the way and almost trip him if he isn't careful. It's almost safe to say that while his job has required this strength, he also considers it compensation for his leg being so weak. This also comes in handy in a fight, the occasional times Ferrum gets into one.

                            "Thank you, come back again!"Business minded
                            While not extremely intelligent, Ferrum is able to do most math easily in his head, and has gotten used to being able to account for expenses and balance money, along with keeping track of inventory in the notebooks he has lying about. He's also able to make a sale easily, be it the fact he may look intimidating or is just kind, he's unsure of.

                            "I know where I want to be in life."Ambitious / Driven
                            Ferrum knows exactly where he wants to be when he's older and he'll stop at nothing to get there. While not the type to backstab to get where he is, he certainly does have a competitive streak in him and will try his hardest to out preform or out do the other troll. He may have some trouble getting there, but it's safe to say he'll probably reach what he's aiming for.

                            "I'd never tell."Loyal
                            If you've gain Ferrum's trust, you've gained his loyalty too. He'll never betray you nor tell any of secrets that you've entrusted to him. He'll have your back completely, want it or not.

                            Flaws:
                            "Hold up, I'm almost there!"Slow
                            Ferrum is quite literally slow when it comes to moving about. With his leg, he can hide the pain and the injury from others well, but it does physically disable him from moving about easily. While on better days it can come across as only a slight limp, usually the days he'll pick-pocket, other days it can completely immobilize Ferrum. It's almost a game Ferrum has to play with his injury at times, hoping when he wakes up that it will be a good night and he can move around. This is also a huge disadvantage in battles, as faster and more lithe or nimble trolls can overtake him easily with attacks that are out of his range.

                            Ferrum is can also be slow when it comes to jokes and things. Over analyzing what other trolls say can sometimes take out the humor or intended meaning and jokes and sarcasm tend to fly straight over his head if they aren't extremely obvious or if the troll saying them isn't a trusted friend of his.

                            "DON'T TOUCH THAT!"Paranoid / Secretive
                            Not many trolls are his friends and even then, the troll doesn't commonly talk to them. Not many have gotten past his defenses and he's very paranoid that his leg or shady deals will be discovered. If he doesn't share the information, it's safe to say that if you find it, you don't talk about it to him unless you wish to end whatever small friendship you have with him.

                            "I do it because I have to!"Desperate
                            Because of his ambition, he has felt he has had to pick pocket and make shady deals with others to get what he needs to keep on going. While hard work has gotten him to where he is in Chittentown, he still feels that it isn't enough and has resorted to desperate measures that he's not proud to admit of.

                            "I will win!"Competitive
                            Ferrum's ambition has led him to being extremely competitive. He will stop at nothing to win and will do anything and everything he can to get the lead. Anything can be seen as a challenge to him and he's not afraid to take one either.

                            Weapon:
                            Ferrum uses a pair of hooked swords, each of them forged by himself. He's quite proud of them and takes very good care of the pair, cleaning them every night. He chose the weapon out of a dedication of sorts to the Soldier he met that one night fixing his weapon. While he may not remember most of the memory, he does remember what the swords looked like and he forged a pair to look like the ones of his memory.

                            Appearance:
                            Ferrum is a somewhat tall troll, with a bulky build gained from his experience with metals and heavy objects. And I'll be extremely honest here, I'm not sure what to outfit him in. Artist's choice, I suppose, I only request he has a double layered set of bandannas around his neck, one in his blood color, the other in black, the rest is your choice. If forced to make a specific appearance for him, I will edit, but the only thing I will be particular about him are his build, horns/hair, and bandannas.

                            His hair is somewhat messy, most of it cut short but a few bangs getting into his face. His horns and placement can be seen here. His horns are curved slightly and placed flat on each side of his head.

                            Home:
                            Ferrum has taken residence in Chittentown, living in the city. The top of his home is his shop, where he works making things for others and selling them, and is built into the canyon wall. Underneath the shop lies his home, dug deep into the ground. The orange blood formerly lived in New Hemisect city, but left to Chittentown shortly after the incident with his leg to avoid culling and from pressure from his Lusus to make the move.

                            Lusus:
                            Ferrum's lusus is a fire salamander, one Ferrum has affectionately gotten around to calling Lizard-Dad. His lusus is rather impervious to heat and enjoys hot weather, often crawling into fires. Lizard-Dad is around two feet long and can occasionally be seen crawling about Ferrum's back when he's not residing in a fire. While somewhat small, the lizard itself can secrete poison as it's main attack and also has very sharp claws. Because of crawling about Ferrum so much and being with him in general, Ferrum has gained a small immunity to poisons. However, his clothing is commonly ripped up due to Lizard-dad's constant crawling about.

                            Besides the poison immunity, Lizard-Dad is generally helpful in detecting fire temperature and has helped Ferrum learn how to properly detect if a fire is the right heat or not. He's taught Ferrum how to escape and be on the lookout too and it's safe to say that Ferrum probably gained his pick-pocketing skills after a few lessons from Lizard-dad.

                            ((Fire salamander, mixed with the mythical salamander. ))
                            Power:
                            None.
 
PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 1:28 pm
Notes and things;;
I'm really unsure as to which blood color is okay, I think the first might be too bright but I'm not sure so if you could tell me which is okay that'd be great! : D

Also, I'm unsure if he would be considered a orange blood or yellow blood. I did have two in the thread tell me yellow blood so I'll go with that for now but again, clarification on what you think would fit would be really, really nice! c:


Cleared up! He is now an orangeblood with the color #e9a912!

Edit 1/9/2012;
Added some things to make more sense, will be tweaking a bit here and there so things look grammatically okay.
Fixed blood color.

1/11/2012;
Added a fact to his weapons and tweaked a trait.

1/14/12;
Tweaked another trait to make more sense and fixed some other things.

2/2/12;
Completely redid a trait and added more about Ferrum's leg and how it affects his daily life! Also tweaked another to include more about his leg.
 

grayseasons

Tiny Trickster


amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:32 pm
yeah you need to tone his blood down a bit, e9a912 would be an appropriate darker colour for him. and he'd count as an orangeblood. :>

▇▇▇▇▇▇  
PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:32 pm

Alrighty will fix his coding to reflect that and update it, thank youuu! c:
edit; Updated and fixed! <3
 

grayseasons

Tiny Trickster


matisha

Business Vampire

PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 4:49 am
CRIT TIME

Ok just having a good look over your quest and I must admit although there are some standard personality pros and cons that come up a lot in these he does sound like a very interesting troll! I have just picked out a few bits and pieces here and there and have some questions that might be worth thinking about and adding into his personality!

Strengths:

Strength: I understand completely that he needs to be strong for his profession but does his leg ever get in the way? I mean the way you described his injury it sounds like it would cause him a lot of mischief, possibly causing him to freeze up in pain. I would imagine him dropping a lot of his material and his 'master' (I assume he is an apprentice) would maybe think twice of keeping him on if accidents are bound to happen! With something like a physical injury you must remember it effects every part of their life's and can't be switched on and off. Is it worth keeping that flaw in if it was to effect the rest of his life/profession?


and these two strengths and flaws clash with each other! Loyalty & grudge. You written "If you've gain Ferrum's trust, you've gained his loyalty too. He'll never betray you nor tell any of secrets that you've entrusted to him. He'll have your back completely, want it or not"

So stating that he would never betray someone means that he could put up with a lot of crap from others but you've put that if someone does betray him he would suddenly go back on his word! He may not enjoy being used/lied too but you've jumped from one extreme to another! He can't always be thee for you but if you betray him once he cuts you out of his life! It doesn't ring for a very loyal person to me. Maybe tone it down or swap it with another flaw?

Overall Summary


Other than that I haven't got any more crits to give, although he has the basic strengths and flaws you have still made him an interesting character! Work on those points and am sure he will get approved in no time!!
 
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 6:06 pm
Matisha


Thank you for the crit!! <3
I fixed all his stuff now (Took my sweet time though I must admit) and it should be alright now.

Do I need to repost in the asking for crit/acceptance thread?
 

grayseasons

Tiny Trickster

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