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Silvia Crow

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 7:04 pm
Ok, I've got a wee bit of a problem. I've ideas for this fanfiction I'm writing (Wake up, join the Guard, try not to die), but I'd like to run the overall plot by ya'll before I implement it proper (currently the main characters are fighting Orks and the plot has only been hinted at). Please keep in mind that this isn't designed to be total grimdark, but more improbable and awesome action type stuff. Rule of Cool is king here.

We have the main squad:

Quote:
Michael: Dan's squad. Cybernetic arm after blowing up a Hammerhead with an Autogun (long story). Dangerously genre savvy, rather gung-ho in an almost Leeroy Jenkins way. From the 21st Century (more on this later). Rank of Private, uses a Lasgun and (currently) a looted Ork Choppa.

Danthol "Dan" Harris: Michael's squad leader. Short blonde hair, lasgun, Sergeant (No Lt. Dan jokes). Has a southern accent and is rather flexible with eccentric behavior (or as flexible as an Imperial Guardsman can be).

Eva McKellon: Dan's squad. Private. Lasgun and knives. Female. Dreadlocks and "refined" tribal look. Stupidly fast (She parkoured through an Ork battle line and blew up their fuel and ammo dump without getting hit) and extremely deadly with her combat knives. Described as "tsundere", may or may not have a thing for Michael (I've not decided yet).

Jacob Bores: Dan's squad. Private. Grenade Launcher (currently a Melta). Big man, burn scars up and down left arm. He's the "gentle giant" of the group. Has an almost zen outlook on life, feeling that if he's fated to die, then he'll die and that the Emperor has a plan for everyone.

Renald Pater: Dan's squad. Private. Lasgun. Smaller, younger than Michael, good at stealth work. Renald is an excellent marksman. If he was in a video game, people would be accusing him of aim-hacks. Has a nervous streak.


Then we have the Commissar and the Inquisitor, but they've not show up enough to warrant a profile (and they're not critical to the middle/end of the story).

Anyway, here's what I have in store for the plot.

Quote:
The reason Michael was pulled from the past and flung into the 40k universe was simple: Tzeetch needed a pawn. By the Chaos God's reasoning, he couldn't use one of his Champions or Cultists, and the Imperials held too many deep seated prejudices against, well, everyone not Human. What the God of Change needed a pawn for was a simple balancing of power. The planet on which the story takes place is being besieged by the forces of Chaos, the Orks, the Tau and the Eldar, but Chaos is slowly gaining the upper hand. However, Tzeetch does not want this to happen.

Should the forces of Chaos control the planet, there will be an unbalance o power in the Chaos pantheon. Most of the Chaos forces revere either Nurgle, Khorne or Slaanesh, and with them taking over, they would gain more power than Tzeetch and eventually have enough power to overthrow him and his followers.

So the Chaos God needed to put a stop to that, and the best way he figured was to pull in an impartial party and have them do it. Essentially, the Chaos God is bringing in an independent contractor to off his rivals and keep things "fair".

Throughout the story, there are little "chats" between Michael and Tzeetch taking place somewhere between Michael's mind and the Warp (a sort of medium ground for the two). It has been shown that some force keeps Tzeetch from mutating or even reprimanding the mortal, something which he has not forseen. He can, however, enhance Michael during times of need (mostly improbably boosts of power and the like, but no mutating, as per above).

What needs to be done is for Michael, who does not share the Imperial's prejudice against Xenos, to rally the more "friendly" aliens against the forces of Chaos. This mostly entails going behind the backs of the Guard commanders and the Inquisition and making some short lived treaties with the aliens (or something like this).


I honestly make this up as I go along and would appreciate a bit of feedback. The "force" that keeps Tzeetch from directly screwing with Michael will be explained later on and has already been hinted at in one of the chapters.

So, um, yeah...
You can read it here if you'd like.  
PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:05 am
You, are a genius.  

Jason Kharo

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DarkElf27
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:08 am
So the basic concept comes down to Tzeentch working to foil the other Chaos gods in the instance of the war on this planet?  
PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:38 am
DarkElf27
So the basic concept comes down to Tzeentch working to foil the other Chaos gods in the instance of the war on this planet?


Preeeeeetty much. Tzeetch is more or less one giant magical Troll for the story.

Decided on Orbital Bombardment for Nurgle, but I'm strapped for ideas for Khorne and Slaanesh (Was toying with the idea of the main character bring up 2Girls1Cup to the Keeper of Secrets and seeing what happened).  

Silvia Crow

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Jason Kharo

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:29 pm
I demand you write more.  
PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:27 pm
I went ahead and read the first chapter. I like how it's written, though I don't have a chance to sit down and read all 14 chapters you've got there (you did see that pull-down chapter selector, right Jason...?). If you could tie to one point of vew for longer than a few paragraphs, I think it would make it flow a bit smoother, bouncing back and forth between the Commissar and Michael seemed to take away from it slightly for me.  

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Silvia Crow

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:38 pm
DarkElf27
I went ahead and read the first chapter. I like how it's written, though I don't have a chance to sit down and read all 14 chapters you've got there (you did see that pull-down chapter selector, right Jason...?). If you could tie to one point of vew for longer than a few paragraphs, I think it would make it flow a bit smoother, bouncing back and forth between the Commissar and Michael seemed to take away from it slightly for me.


Well I ended up switching styles (kinda) later in the chapters, so the perspective change is kept to a minimum (mostly).  
PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:09 pm
Of course I did DE. razz

Read it all in one go, loving the stuff.  

Jason Kharo

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Silvia Crow

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 11:01 pm
Well, cranked out a new chapter.

In a nutshell, Tzeetch and the Emperor are is using Michael as a joint pawn (Chaos gets defeated on the planet and Tzeetch reins in the three upstarts Gods, so there's benefit for both should Michael succeed).

Depicted the Emperor wearing a red polo, cargo jeans and flip-flops. He also kicked an Ork in the junk a few times just because he could.

I think I left the Lore back a few chapters...

Edited  
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:30 am
Question for anyone that is keeping up with the fic:

How would you feel about a 4th wall breaking ending to the fic?

Like where Tzeentch gets in an "on camera" argument with the author?  

Silvia Crow

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:05 pm
Silvia Crow
Question for anyone that is keeping up with the fic:

How would you feel about a 4th wall breaking ending to the fic?

Like where Tzeentch gets in an "on camera" argument with the author?
Well that depends, do you want the overall feel of the story to be comedic? If so, then it works out fine, but make sure that mood stays consistent throughout.  
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:07 am
Fuuuuuuuu-

Finally put out chapter 17 after a month with no writing.

Fething Slaanesh. Wish I didn't have to do a bit with them. Can't wait until Khorne, s**t's gonna get crazy.

Speaking of, even with crazy divine help from Tzeentch (In a sort of "Here, have a bit more power, and even more for each demon you kill" way), would it be highly improbable for an unarmed human guardsman to take down a group of Bloodletters bare handed and then with their own demonic weapons?  

Silvia Crow

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