Let's do this for us sweetheart

[RoseAintMean]

Hey. I used to have a journal on here years back.I have been using a journal elsewhere, but that guild has kind of died.. so I decided I needed a better place.

I am Rose. I am 19 years old.
Height: 5'6.25" (and yes to me it matters to have that .25)

Highest weight: 173.5 (May 2011)
Current: 173.5
Goal: 125

To lose 40 pounds.

I have run out of ways to lose weight... That is my reason for coming here. I got down to 136 before, but I gained it back once I dropped into this deep depression I am still in.

I am trying to lose weight as healthy as possible.
[I have an eating disorder.. but I am trying to recover. I do not promote eating disorders, nor think things I do are healthy. I am going to try to keep those thoughts in another journal elsewhere]

This journal will be for the food, calories, exercise, and less about thoughts.

Edit: Decided to put pictures of myself.

Me on Dec 4th. I have a tanktop on.

Ten pounds lighter than now. In the spring.
 

[RoseAintMean]

Weight: 165

Breakfast: none.. running late to class
Lunch: piece of american cheese on a piece of bread
Snacks: bowl of vegetarian chili, two pieces of toast
Dinner: vegetable soup
Snack: bowl of ice cream, ice pop

Exercise: just walking around campus

Intake: 1250
Outtake: 150
Total: 1100  

[RoseAintMean]

Weight: 165.5

Breakfast:multi-grain bagel w/ cream cheese & white hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts
Lunch: bowl of vegetarian chili w/ few crackers
Snack: ice pop
Dinner: vegetable soup with saltines
Snack: peanut butter and fluff crackers

Exercise: treadmill,jog/walk for 15 minutes to burn 139 calories. step machine for 6 minutes to burn 61 calories. Did some arm exercise machines also.

Intake: 1310
Outtake: 200
Total: 1110

I will NEVER again have that white hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts! 340 calories and 13 grams of fat. More fat than the bagel, but less calories. Just crazy that a drink is soooo much.  

[RoseAintMean]

Weight: didn't weigh myself.

Breakfast: the last of the Vegetarian chili
Lunch: two frozen chocolate chip waffles
Snack: sprees, strawberry ice pop
Dinner: mashed potato pancakes w/ mixed vegetables
Snack: cinnamon toast, apple, vegetable soup

Exercise: ran ten minutes on the treadmill. =] and walked 6. then did some arm machines and one leg, and abs.

Intake: 1088
Outtake: 155
Total: 933

I need to go to the gym this afternoon after the eye doctors.. need to run ten minutes.

Woo I did it! I ran 10 minutes!!! I am so proud of myself!!

So my goal is one day to run 66 minutes straight. Which technically I am not allowed to stay on the treadmill for longer than 30 minutes.. but i will figure it out.

so each time i go to the gym i need to increase 2 minutes of running. So in 28 times to the gym I should be at this 66 minutes. which is going to take probably three months to get to.  

[RoseAintMean]

Weight: 165.5

Breakfast: 2 cookies
Lunch: lentil soup with crackers
Snack: ice pop, mini oreos
Dinner:
Snack:

Exercise: jog/run for 12 minutes on 5mph. walked for 8 minutes on 3.5mph. no other exercises today... needed to get home.

Intake: 898
Outtake: 191
Total:

Woo at 12 minutes straight now. 27 more times till i can run 66 minutes.
my legs hurt, so exciting. I love it.
I had to pay 50 dollars for eye drops.. but i got 130 from my last pay check though.  

[RoseAintMean]

Didn't eat like anything after I posted yesterday's.. meaning I don't see the need to update it.

Weight: forgot in the morning.. but went to my mom's at 2pm, after lunch, and weighed myself 162.6 according to her scale. Mine makes me weigh more than her's says.

Breakfast: none.. realized I didn't do my homework.. therefore needed to get to class to finish
Lunch: 2 tacos, small coleslaw, 2 biscuits- (once I week, if I have money I get fast food...)
Dinner: black bean burger
Snack: ice pop, cinnamon toast

Exercise: walk/jog on treadmill for 10 minutes (couldn't run much because i still had a kinda full stomach). bike for 15 minutes. step for 6 minutes. Walking around campus.

Intake: 1060 plus dinner
Outtake: 386
Total: 674 plus dinner

900 calories in lunch. 900. i know i should not eat fast food... but i wanted it.. and i didn't want a salad.. i wanted fatty foods.
and i don't know how much the burger was... but probably a lot even though it didn't fill me up.
now i am just so glad i got some exercise in.  

[RoseAintMean]

Weight: 165.0

Uh..bad day..

Breakfast: none slept late
Lunch: baked beans, and chips and salsa
Snack: brownie, soy egg nog, vegetables
Dinner: cheese fries..
Snack: corn muffins- this was at like 1:30am

Exercise: ran outside for 7 minutes. walk for 30 minutes.

Intake: around 1600
Outtake: 288
Total: around 1350

I just had really bad cravings for things.. wanted to eat everything in sight. i am still hungry. it is now about 2am.. and i kinda want to eat the rest of the corn muffins.. i ate half of them already..
2000 calories is a normal about for ppl to eat right?
i will eat healthy tomorrow. like really healthy.  

[RoseAintMean]

Weight: 166.0

I did it the rest of the muffins.. just not all of them I like picked them apart... that's why I gained..

Breakfast: two slices of apple, 98% fat free broccoli cheddar soup
Lunch: apple pie, soy nog
Snack: apple, 2 ice pops
Dinner: chips, cheese, salsa
Snack: hot chocolate

Exercise: none.

Intake: 925
Outtake: 0
Total: 925

I don't know if I will get any exercise in today... I made apple pie and apple sauce. And now I need to read and write a paper. Then study for an exam...

12 hours till sleep.

edit: 4 hours till sleep..
hungry still.. i dont have much food.. soup.. cinnamon toast.. instant mashed potatoes.. idk what i will eat..  

[Lainauriel]

Hi! Im also fighting. Maybe we can support each other. I also study and ill have to start preparing for an exam from Tuesday, i hope i dont go crazy and buy lots of sweet stuff and then say to my friends "hey lets go to a restaurant" and just eat eat eat...good luck!  

[RoseAintMean]

Lainauriel

Hi! Im also fighting. Maybe we can support each other. I also study and ill have to start preparing for an exam from Tuesday, i hope i dont go crazy and buy lots of sweet stuff and then say to my friends "hey lets go to a restaurant" and just eat eat eat...good luck!

Hello. Yes we can support each other, that would be lovely.
Good luck on your exam.
I love sweet things.. so much..
=[ i know how hard it is to just want to eat eat and eat..  

[RoseAintMean]

Guess today is horrible..
Weight: 165. good.. now go down!

Breakfast: two pieces of cinnamon toast
Lunch: A LOT... potato salad, a little coleslaw, a bagel with cream cheese, AND a cinnamon bun.
Dinner:
Snack:

Exercise: walking around campus

Intake: A LOT.. 1172
Outtake: 108
Total: A LOT... 1064

didn't go to gym... cause i forgot my gym card.. so i am going to see if i can work out on an exercise machine at my aunt's.. which i am spending the night at, which means no computer.

I will go to the gym tomorrow though and run. I need to exercise. I need to lose weight.

I am thinking about posting pictures on here.  

[Conceptual Misconception]

Good luck! Youre goal is completely attainable! Youve done it before! <3  

[RoseAintMean]

@ conceptual: thanks =]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weight: 166.5 sucks...

Breakfast: homemade apple sauce
Snack: a little ice cream, cookie
Lunch: two bowls of corn chowder
Dinner: uh... too much to remember...
Snack:

Exercise: a little bit of walking... couldn't make myself go to the gym today..

Intake: 450... plus dinner
Outtake: 50
Total: 400... plus dinner

Tight on money.. Need more money... Need to go to my mom's house to fax something.. I really should go to the gym while I am out.. I really do not want to...  

[RoseAintMean]

skipped a day.. wasn't a bad day or anything though. i don't remember what i ate or anything so i will move on to today.

weight: 164.5

breakfast: cinnamon toast, and a few chips with salsa
lunch: about two pieces of pizza... needed to fill my past like three weeks of craving
snack: piece of chocolate and orange juice
dinner: slushie
snack:

exercise: food shopping

Intake: i can't count
Outtake: --- doesn't matter
Total: i can't count

I got rid of my candy i bought after halloween, gave it to my brother.
i had to go to the eye doctor again today.. 25 more dollars. have spent 100 within one week on my eyes.. i have to go back in another 2 weeks...
I went food shopping with my little sister since she will be here this weekend, and we needed more food at the house.
my little sister told me how she lost 14 pounds, she is now under 150.. i am jealous...  

[RoseAintMean]

Taking some time away from here..
not in a good state of mind.

I will be back after thanksgiving.