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 Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 5:35 am
So I'm single again and I'm back to hitting the dating scene.
So there's this really cute guy I met at a party not too long ago..
We hit it off pretty well and he asked me out on a date with him.
You seeeeeeee....
Here's the problem.
I made the mistake of telling him that I'm addicted to sex and that I've decided to look for a decent guy to hang around for a casual rendezvous..
I mentioned that I was a recovering sex addict who's been abused and who's made mistakes in the past and I want to become a better person.
I know this is all common sense, but ugh !
It's been so long since any guy's asked me out on a proper date.
And I think I'm too nice for my own good to say no.
He wants to take me out to a restaurant.. and When he asked me out, I said that I was thrilled because it's been such a long time since any guy's actually taken me out on a romantic date without me ending up with my clothes off at the end...
..and he bluntly , straightforwardly said that he was hoping for that to happen !
he doesn't live here in my hometown. He lives a few cities away and he's here visiting with a friend who he came to the party with.
So he also wants me to chill with him at the hotel he's staying at afterwards...
And he said that it was a good thing that im a sex addict because he needed to so badly get laid and that he would do anything with me as long as i had sex with him first. Wtf?!
I already planned out the date with him for this weekend and im horrible at saying no/backing down from these types of things. I know he's using me for sex and theres a high chance i wont see him again after this...
Part of me really wants this, but I have a conscience that's telling me not to go through with this..
He seems like such a sweet guy, but I think he's just horrible with girls.
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There's this other guy who knows of my past and he keeps telling me how much he wish that he was the guy i had cheated on my ex fiance with..
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So my boyfriend and I broke up... he wasn't with me because he loved me.. He had feelings for an ex... He didn't want to be monogamous... I'm no longer into polyamory and I told him that..
I told him I just couldn't be with him knowing he was in love with someone else...
Whenever I say I love you to him, he was always so hesitant..
Now I know why...
He was like my best friend for the longest time and he was only with me to protect me.. but what he didnt know was that he only hurt me worse by pretending to love me.. when he was really in love with someone else..
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GODDAMMIT. WHERE ARE ALL THE DECENT GUYS ?!
Seriously. And don't tell me to wait for the right one.
I'm happy being single, but I'm just curious..
Even when I'm not looking for sex and assholes, I seem to attract a whole bunch of them.
Is there something that I'm doing wrong ?
And yes.. Jenitorturer is back with more relationships problems...
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Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:50 pm
Oh, dear..
Men can be pigs but, trust me, they aren't all that way.
That guy's loins sprang into action once you mentioned sex addiction -- whatever details of trying to get over it and being abused was probably tuned out by his, well, sex drive. Just..don't mention it during a first date. Even though you are obviously a lovely lady and not a whore, some men just don't get what "no" means once the prospect of sex is mentioned. (the same goes with many women as well, actually.)
He does not sound like a sweet guy to me. He's a sleaze.
Don't waste your time on him, hun, because there are sweeties out there, really.
You know...
Ones who don't come visit friends to party and get laid. (probably what he intended all along -- it's not your fault he's a lame jerk.)
I'm sorry about your break-up, I truly am. =/
I know what it's like to be with a guy who's not over his ex..and who's pretending to have feelings just for you.
Yeah, it sucks...
It really does.
But there is hope out there, I swear.
If I can find a decent monogamous man then you sure as heck can too!
I suggest looking into a local church, one with a caring support system. =)
God loves you no matter what and will heal and forgive your past endeavors. His love is never-ending and always there, enshrouding you in it even when others unfortunately do not. Have faith and believe that He will find you a man who truly loves and adores you, because God wants you to be happy. If you don't believe this then at least be assured that I and the rest of the girls on this guild feel the same way; we want you to be happy and content with a good guy because, hun, he is out there.
But in any case, wherever you go a man-huntin', remember that you do not need a man, per se, to be the beautiful and amazing woman that you are. The addiction that plagues you is not your defining quality at all -- and a man, one that you will not need to entirely depend on "for protection" whatsoever, will one day realize this and devote his entire self to your heart rather than your body.
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