STORY ABOUT MY MOM ND HER WAYZ..SO CONFUSING

[X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X]

OK MY MOM ND I GOT INTO A ARGUEMENT OVER MY OLDER BRUTHA ON FRIDAY... OK HE 39 YRZ OLD AND HE A REAL MEANIE...SO WE GET IN A ARGUEMENT AND SHE TELLZ ME THAT SHE DISOWN ME IF I PUT MY BRUTHA IN JAIL.. I SAID I WOULD PUT HIM IN JAIL.. IF HE WAS 2 HIT ME... PLUS I THINK ANY GUY WHO HITZ A GIRL IZ A STR8 WOMAN BEATER AND HE SHOULD BE LOCK'D UP.. OK HE DIDNT HIT ME .. BUT HE BEEN KNOWN 2 DO SO IN THE PAST ..AND I FEEL IM GROWN NOW .. SO IM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN AND TAKING NO ABUSE FROM HIM OR NOONE IN LIFE...SO NOW MY MOM SCREAMING AT ME ALL IN MY FACE.. I TELL HER W8 A MIN.. THAT SON OF URZ JUST RAN UP ON ME AND POINT ALL IN MY FACE AND HE SAID HE WAS GOING 2 BEAT THE s**t OUT OF ME AND UR GOING 2 TAKE UP 4 HIM??? WOW...SO SHE LIKE GIVE HIM A BREAK.. SO NOW IM CONFUSED.. BECAUSE ALL THIS IS TURNING ON ME....OK SO NOW MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 2 DAYZ.. I HAVENT TALK 2 HER AND SHE CALLS ME RITE NOW AND SAYZ SHE GOING 2 TAKE ME 2 GET MY HAIR DONE 2MORROW.. IM LIKE MOM I ALREADY GOT MY HAIR DONE.. ITZ OK.. I DONT NEED U 2 DO IT.. SO SHE GETZ ALL UPSET AND WAS LIKE ..WTF U GOT IT DONE.. IM LIKE YES...

OK THE ONLY REASON I GOT MY HAIR DONE ALREADY WAS SHE TOLD ME NOT 2 CALL HER NO MORE AND SHE WASNT GOING 2 DO NOTHING 4 ME OR GIVE ME NOTHING 4 MY BIRTHDAY.. SO IM USED 2 IT NOW.. NOT GETTING THE LOVE I NEED FROM HER AND MY FAMILY.. SO I TAKE CARE OF MY OWN NEEDS AND DO IT MY SELF...HAS ANYONE ELSE GO THRU DRAMA 4 NO REASON WITH THERE MOTHER...

SO WAT IM TRING 2 SAY IS Y DO I FEEL BAD INSIDE..IM ALL CONFUSED!!!!!!
SIGNED I JUST WANTED MY RESPECT AND LOVE I DESERVE... I ALWAYZ GET DEM PRESENT EVEN WHEN I CANT AFFORD 2..I MAKE SURE THEY HAVE A CARD AND A GIFT..

AND THE REAL HURTFUL THING IS ALL IM BEEN HEARING ABOUT IS MY UNCLE BIRTHDAY THAT JUST PAST ON JUNE 8TH.. I BOUGHT HIM A GIFT AND NOW FATHERS DAY COMING UP.. AND NOT EVEN ONCE HAVE I HEARD ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY...BUT IM SUPPOSE 2 DO 4 EVERYONE ELSE... ALL IM SAYING IZ HOW ABOUT ME SOMETIME.. ATLEAST ON THIS DAY.. THIS THE DAY SHE GAVE BIRTH 2 ME.. SO SHOULDNT SHE LOVE ME ENOUGH..2 CARE THIS ONE DAY crying  

[Purtie]

Don't get so upset X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X. Your mom knows deep down that she's wrong. (That's why she wanted to take you to have your hair done. 3nodding ) She's trying to protect the weaker of her children. And it's not you. You're strong. She doesn't have to worry about you doing something stupid and winding up in jail. My guess is that the 39 year old meanie still lives at home with her ( am I right?).
She hasn't forgotten about your birthday on Wednesday (neither have I). But she does want to make sure you remember others because it shows that she raised at least one caring child that she can brag about. And you may never know to whom she brags about you to, but I guarantee you that she does, perhaps even to your brother who's so angry. It's hard to be compared to a sibling.
My dad is like your mom. He blows up and says things he doesn't mean and then expects us to just ignore the fact that he said them. Things that are heard with the ears can hurt for years. The mouth that said them has probably forgotten the whole thing. But if you go back and listen with your heart, you might just find that something entirely different was said.
I got to the point with my brother and three sisters that I just gave up on sending them cards and presents because they weren't doing it for me. The world did not come to an end. It's up to you. How does it make you feel? Happy or used? If it's happy, keep doing it. Keep yourself happy. Do not expect "them" to be happy in return. If it's used, tone it down or cut it out.
You can't "make" people show you the love and respect you deserve. Love yourself. Respect yourself. It's the best you can do!
As for your birthday, try to find some time you and your mom can spend together. She wanted to spend time getting your hair done. How about a movie? Lunch in a sit down restaurant? Not to make you cry, but my mom has passed, so has my mother-in-law, and my step mother is in another state. I've only been able to call my daughter on the phone for her last two birthdays, because she's with my husband in another state. Time spent together is the best gift you could give yourself. 3nodding
Finally, take it from the oldest of eight (three have passed)
FAMILIES ARE DRAMA!  

[X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X]

Purtie

Don't get so upset X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X. Your mom knows deep down that she's wrong. (That's why she wanted to take you to have your hair done. 3nodding ) She's trying to protect the weaker of her children. And it's not you. You're strong. She doesn't have to worry about you doing something stupid and winding up in jail. My guess is that the 39 year old meanie still lives at home with her ( am I right?).
She hasn't forgotten about your birthday on Wednesday (neither have I). But she does want to make sure you remember others because it shows that she raised at least one caring child that she can brag about. And you may never know to whom she brags about you to, but I guarantee you that she does, perhaps even to your brother who's so angry. It's hard to be compared to a sibling.
My dad is like your mom. He blows up and says things he doesn't mean and then expects us to just ignore the fact that he said them. Things that are heard with the ears can hurt for years. The mouth that said them has probably forgotten the whole thing. But if you go back and listen with your heart, you might just find that something entirely different was said.
I got to the point with my brother and three sisters that I just gave up on sending them cards and presents because they weren't doing it for me. The world did not come to an end. It's up to you. How does it make you feel? Happy or used? If it's happy, keep doing it. Keep yourself happy. Do not expect "them" to be happy in return. If it's used, tone it down or cut it out.
You can't "make" people show you the love and respect you deserve. Love yourself. Respect yourself. It's the best you can do!
As for your birthday, try to find some time you and your mom can spend together. She wanted to spend time getting your hair done. How about a movie? Lunch in a sit down restaurant? Not to make you cry, but my mom has passed, so has my mother-in-law, and my step mother is in another state. I've only been able to call my daughter on the phone for her last two birthdays, because she's with my husband in another state. Time spent together is the best gift you could give yourself. 3nodding
Finally, take it from the oldest of eight (three have passed)
FAMILIES ARE DRAMA!

WELL HE DONT LIVE AT HOME WIT HER.. HE JUST A SPOILED GROWN AZZ MAN.. THAT IS MEAN 2 EVERYONE IN THE WORLD..HE IN AND OUT OF JAIL AND ALSO MY MOM CAME BY 2 DAY AND DROP A HINT THAT SHE NOT GETTING ME s**t 4 MY BIRTHDAY..QUOTES HER.. SHE SO DAMN RANDOM.. SHE SAYZ OH YEA I JUST REMEMBER I DIDNT GET UR BRUTHA NOTHING 4 HIZ BIRTHDAY.. BUT HIZ BIRTHDAY WAS FEB 9TH..WOW... AND I ALSO KNO THAT WAS A BIG OLE LIE..BECAUSE SHE CAME 2 MY HOUSE AND PICK UP HIS BIRTHDAY GIFT THAT I BOUGHT HIM AND WENT 2 HIZ HOUSE AND GAVE HIM A BIRTHDAY PARTY THAT I WASN ALLOWED 2 GO 2..BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT ME THERE.. IM JUST SO HURT THAT SHE COULD SIT THERE AND LIE IN MY FACE ..LIKE IM SOME STUPID PERSON OFF THE STREET..  

[Cookie1474]

I know exactly what you mean about your mom and how she acts becasue that is how my mom acts, but in my case I am the oldest of 5 daughters and my mom tended to forget about me or make me responsible for evey little thing that my sister did wrong it was always my fault cause I am the oldest, and when every my parents didn't have money I was always the one that would go with out because they said I understood but I really didn't at the time cause I was young also and wanted to get stuff to and my sister that is 11 months younger than me is the meanie of the family eveyone walks on egg shells around her and they do eveything that she asks or wants or she throws a gaint fit and will yell and get in your face and she disrepects everyone including my mom and dad but they just are like that is how she is, but she is just a big baby and needs to grow up, and I hear you I really do I totally understand and it can be very confusing you gotta do what you gotta do don't let them keep you down, you keep giving and being who you are and its on them if they want to treat you like that, i had to figure out a long time ago that I can't let them make me into a monster or go crazy or something I have to live life and do my thing and continue to be myself and sweet to everyone. My parents use to forget about my birthday as well and I guess they thought it was ok and never gave me hugs nothing but they wanted me to be a grown up from when I was a little kid never really had a child hood, but you know I have to be accountable to God and how I act I hope this help and I have my friends that are my realy family heart  

[T_Megami]

you can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives.

Billion Dollar, you're sad and actually grieving for the mama you imagine in your mind you should have but don't.
I did the same thing for many many years.
My mama was wrong wrong wrong and still I managed to feel bad. Just for sticking up for myself and wanting to be accepted and loved for who I am. I felt bad.
because it's your mom. Ever hear the expression "mother is god to a child"? It's the truth. As a child your mom is everything. And that little child is still alive in all of us.
The problem is that mom is far from god. She is very human like all of us and that human hurts us and makes mistakes.
I was very angry at my mom for a long time. There are still things that make me angry. But she is my mama and I respect and love her. The thing is that I have need to put some distance between us, so I could grow and learn to mother myself.  

[X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X]

Cookie1474

I know exactly what you mean about your mom and how she acts becasue that is how my mom acts, but in my case I am the oldest of 5 daughters and my mom tended to forget about me or make me responsible for evey little thing that my sister did wrong it was always my fault cause I am the oldest, and when every my parents didn't have money I was always the one that would go with out because they said I understood but I really didn't at the time cause I was young also and wanted to get stuff to and my sister that is 11 months younger than me is the meanie of the family eveyone walks on egg shells around her and they do eveything that she asks or wants or she throws a gaint fit and will yell and get in your face and she disrepects everyone including my mom and dad but they just are like that is how she is, but she is just a big baby and needs to grow up, and I hear you I really do I totally understand and it can be very confusing you gotta do what you gotta do don't let them keep you down, you keep giving and being who you are and its on them if they want to treat you like that, i had to figure out a long time ago that I can't let them make me into a monster or go crazy or something I have to live life and do my thing and continue to be myself and sweet to everyone. My parents use to forget about my birthday as well and I guess they thought it was ok and never gave me hugs nothing but they wanted me to be a grown up from when I was a little kid never really had a child hood, but you know I have to be accountable to God and how I act I hope this help and I have my friends that are my realy family heart

OMG ..U KNO EXCATUALLY HOW I FEEL.. U NAILED IT ...YES THEY DONT WANT 2 HUG ME..IT REALLY HURTS.. THANKS COOKIE 4 SHARING HOW U FEEL ND WAT U GO THRU.. WHEN U WAS JUST TELLING ME WAT U HAVE WENT THRU MIN UR LIFE.. IT WAS ALMOST LIKE U WAS ME 4 A SEC...HUGZZZZZZZ COOKIE...  

[X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X]

T_Megami

you can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives.

Billion Dollar, you're sad and actually grieving for the mama you imagine in your mind you should have but don't.
I did the same thing for many many years.
My mama was wrong wrong wrong and still I managed to feel bad. Just for sticking up for myself and wanting to be accepted and loved for who I am. I felt bad.
because it's your mom. Ever hear the expression "mother is god to a child"? It's the truth. As a child your mom is everything. And that little child is still alive in all of us.
The problem is that mom is far from god. She is very human like all of us and that human hurts us and makes mistakes.
I was very angry at my mom for a long time. There are still things that make me angry. But she is my mama and I respect and love her. The thing is that I have need to put some distance between us, so I could grow and learn to mother myself.

UR SO RITE..HUGZ ... BUT IT HARDER THEN IT SEEMS 2 JUST LET GO...I DONT CALL HER AND LET WEEKS GO BY AND AS SOON AS I TALK 2 HER.. THE SAME DRAMA AGAIN .. BUT UR SOOOOOO RITE.. I JUST WANT A MOTHER 2 B A LOVING MOTHER 2 ME.. I ALWAYZ C EVERYONE WITH THERE MOM ND WISH THEY WAS MY MOM.. SOMEONE WHO CARES AND RESPECT WAT I THINK INSTEAD ..IM LIVING IN A WORLD.. WHERE EVERYTHING I DO IZ WRONG AND EVERYTHING ANYONE ELSE DO IS RITE 2 HER ..EVEN IF THEY GO 2 JAIL AND KEEP GETTING IN TROUBLE.. ITZ LIKE IM BEING PUNISH 4 DOING RITE IN MY LIFE BY MY MOTHER..HUGZZZ  

[Unicorn Lady 2]

I sure can relate to the way that you feel. My mom passed away nearly 7 years ago and she went to her grave knowing that the last thing she ever said to me was "why the hell are you calling me?" She was in the hospital and I was calling to check on her. I think that she might have told me that she loved me once or twice in her lifetime...but that's it. I was the youngest of 4 kids. Because there was 12 years between the youngest of the other 3 and me...my mom made it very clear that she didn't really want me. This all served to make me a better person. I had to put all of this behind me and get on with my life. I now make a point of telling the people that I love, just how much I love them, as often as I can. I have made a vow to myself to never be like my mother!! Hang in there and know that you're the bigger person if you can survive this!! Let those of us that had/have unreasonable moms unite!!!! Together we can be strong!! heart  

[T_Megami]

Unicorn Lady 2

I sure can relate to the way that you feel. My mom passed away nearly 7 years ago and she went to her grave knowing that the last thing she ever said to me was "why the hell are you calling me?" She was in the hospital and I was calling to check on her. I think that she might have told me that she loved me once or twice in her lifetime...but that's it. I was the youngest of 4 kids. Because there was 12 years between the youngest of the other 3 and me...my mom made it very clear that she didn't really want me. This all served to make me a better person. I had to put all of this behind me and get on with my life. I now make a point of telling the people that I love, just how much I love them, as often as I can. I have made a vow to myself to never be like my mother!! Hang in there and know that you're the bigger person if you can survive this!! Let those of us that had/have unreasonable moms unite!!!! Together we can be strong!! heart

OMG Unicornlady, that is hard. I admire you for not letting this make you bitter, but better.
Big hugs to you and to Billiondollar. It is so hard to let go. I still got to practice it.
I'm a mom now and I too vow never to be like my mom was to me. I'm sure I'll make mistakes but at least I can learn from my mother's mistakes.  

[GailAnne Munchkin]

I am so saddened to hear about these bad mother stories! My mom died when I was seven and since she was in the hospital so much I can barely remember her, so I don't know what sort of mother she would have been. I do know I loved her very much and suffered terribly because of her death. I can tell you that my father remarried a woman from Germany. She was an alcoholic and a total b*tch! But I can also tell you that as mean as she was to me it only made me stronger and determined to not be like her. Somtimes those who set horrible examples teach us what we don't want to be.

Well, today is your birthday, Billiondollar, and I hope in spite of all the turmoil in your life that you still manage to have a good day! You have lots of friends in spite of your mean brother and what sounds like a rather disfunctional mother, so I'm going to wish you A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and pray from the bottom of my heart that it is!  

[Unicorn Lady 2]

Happy Birthday BillionDollar!! Remember that no matter what...you have friends that love ya!! Have a great birthday!! heart  

[X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X]

Unicorn Lady 2

I sure can relate to the way that you feel. My mom passed away nearly 7 years ago and she went to her grave knowing that the last thing she ever said to me was "why the hell are you calling me?" She was in the hospital and I was calling to check on her. I think that she might have told me that she loved me once or twice in her lifetime...but that's it. I was the youngest of 4 kids. Because there was 12 years between the youngest of the other 3 and me...my mom made it very clear that she didn't really want me. This all served to make me a better person. I had to put all of this behind me and get on with my life. I now make a point of telling the people that I love, just how much I love them, as often as I can. I have made a vow to myself to never be like my mother!! Hang in there and know that you're the bigger person if you can survive this!! Let those of us that had/have unreasonable moms unite!!!! Together we can be strong!! heart

drop tears.. ur mom soundz like my mom.. hugz u tightly.. im so sorry 2 hear that she passed away.. ur very brave nd strong woman.. this really made me cry...hugz heart  

[X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X]

GailAnne Munchkin

I am so saddened to hear about these bad mother stories! My mom died when I was seven and since she was in the hospital so much I can barely remember her, so I don't know what sort of mother she would have been. I do know I loved her very much and suffered terribly because of her death. I can tell you that my father remarried a woman from Germany. She was an alcoholic and a total b*tch! But I can also tell you that as mean as she was to me it only made me stronger and determined to not be like her. Somtimes those who set horrible examples teach us what we don't want to be.

Well, today is your birthday, Billiondollar, and I hope in spite of all the turmoil in your life that you still manage to have a good day! You have lots of friends in spite of your mean brother and what sounds like a rather disfunctional mother, so I'm going to wish you A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and pray from the bottom of my heart that it is!

aw ty .. hugz  

[X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X]

T_Megami

Unicorn Lady 2

I sure can relate to the way that you feel. My mom passed away nearly 7 years ago and she went to her grave knowing that the last thing she ever said to me was "why the hell are you calling me?" She was in the hospital and I was calling to check on her. I think that she might have told me that she loved me once or twice in her lifetime...but that's it. I was the youngest of 4 kids. Because there was 12 years between the youngest of the other 3 and me...my mom made it very clear that she didn't really want me. This all served to make me a better person. I had to put all of this behind me and get on with my life. I now make a point of telling the people that I love, just how much I love them, as often as I can. I have made a vow to myself to never be like my mother!! Hang in there and know that you're the bigger person if you can survive this!! Let those of us that had/have unreasonable moms unite!!!! Together we can be strong!! heart

OMG Unicornlady, that is hard. I admire you for not letting this make you bitter, but better.
Big hugs to you and to Billiondollar. It is so hard to let go. I still got to practice it.
I'm a mom now and I too vow never to be like my mom was to me. I'm sure I'll make mistakes but at least I can learn from my mother's mistakes.

ur so rite.. hugz  

[Purtie]

X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X

GailAnne Munchkin

I

Well, today is your birthday, Billiondollar, and I hope in spite of all the turmoil in your life that you still manage to have a good day! You have lots of friends in spite of your mean brother and what sounds like a rather disfunctional mother, so I'm going to wish you A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and pray from the bottom of my heart that it is!

aw ty .. hugz

Okay X-BILLIONdollarAZZ-X, give us the scoop. How was your birthday?