((Warning: if you're looking for another poem about love, please move on. This is me letting off steam.))


I am sorry that I cannot love you.
I must confess that it's not you, but me.
Please forgive that I could not look past the
many faults of mine that contests your few.

I am sorry that I've been such a tease
and disrupting your quest to find the one.
I'd wrongly thought to give friendship a run,
failing twice to beg, "No date requests, please."

I'm sorry I was of the shy type and
was too easily unhinged by your calling
three and four times a day. Quite appalling
that I'd make such an issue seem so grand.

And sorry that I appeared to ignore
your attempts to distract me while at church.
Yes, I heard your yawning my dear Lurch.
So sorry. Beg your pardon, I implore.

It's also been a sin of mine that I
should long for a beauty that's shown without--
not just within. Oh, but please, never doubt.
I'm sure you're dashing to some other eye.

Yet, I am not all bad. I will admit,
I loved how you'd plant your stare upon me.
No one else was studied so thoroughly.
And I adored your double-digit wit!

I know you had much to teach me of art,
showing me such things as missed in my degree.
But my conceit would not let me yet see
the great oceans of wisdom you labored to impart.

I loved the way you'd mumble every word
unless you were commenting on my hair, dress or weight.
Not one syllable heard clearly or straight
until you thought something gay or absurd.

I regret I won't fulfill your dreams thus,
as you had told my mom behind my back.
And that my car, job, house--all things you lack--
won't become yours too for a lack of "us."

So, let's divine this as lessons well learned.
I should be less friendly--and NEVER speak.
You should find someone more lowly and meek.
This way, next time, no one will be as burned.

I hope, too, that you'll find that special girl
that will give you all of those things you need.
As for me, I'll continue to succeed
in my quest to see how life will unfurl.

Here's to wishing you the very best luck
and a happy life--you retarded f**k!