I'm fine.

[InnisTheMirageOfDeceit]

Just a heads up for anybody who actually reads this poem, I'm just venting some negative emotions in poetic form. I'm not a poet by any means so don't get on my case about how crappy it is and if I see any comments calling me a whiner, then f*** you. I know that many people have worse problems than I do and I feel sympathy for them but sometimes, we all need to vent. It helps me feel better and it's considered bad to keep all your emotions bottled up. Some crap about it having negative effects down the road. That's what the psychiatrist told me.

Hello.
How're you?
That's great.
Oh, me?
I'm fine.

I only cried myself to sleep last night
Nothing new about that

Was yelled at
Because I forgot my lines overnight
The guys in my group just said "You're a girl. Of course you can't do anything right"

Got told I was fat
And ugly
And useless
By some girl I don't know

I saw the neurologist
It might not be migraines
Though, having a brain tumor would suck

I'm feeling sick again
So the teachers sent me home
I got another lecture from my mom
She said stay in school
"you aren't really sick"

She asked the same questions
She's asked so many times
"Are you getting bullied at school?"
"Do you not like your teachers?"
"Is everything all right?"
I give the same answers
I gave her before
Though I feel guilty
For lying to her
She loves me, I know
But getting compared to my sister
All the time
Gets on my nerves

My dad got sick
Because he over worked himself again
He hadn't come home from work that night
But when he got home,
Mom had to take him to the emergency room
Mom said she'd call when they're coming home.
It's five AM Monday morning, got school in a few hours.
The phone hasn't rung.
I couldn't sleep from worry,
But I still went to school.
I could barely stay awake in class
I took a test
I don't think I passed.

They laughed at me,
When I cried during Health class
We were talking about cancer
Somebody very close to me
Has only months to live
I didn't tell them that
It's none of their concern
Besides, I don't want their fake pity

It's not like I'll ever tell you this
Even if I wanted you, you never answer the phone.
But you're busy and you're tired
So I try not to bother you.
I miss you very much
I haven't seen you in a long while.
Funny, the last time that I saw you
Was the last time that I smiled.

You actually called me today
And asked me how things have been
So I masked all my pain and sadness
And forced a happiness to my voice
I laughed and said I'd been busy
Just like you always are
But other than that
I'm
Absolutely
Totally
Entirely
100%
FINE

 

[Mydnyte Dystopia]

sad

I really like the free style you wrote it in, but that it also had rhyme to it.
And I hope things get better for you soon.  

[InnisTheMirageOfDeceit]

Thanks. It just kind of spewed itself out, like a demon birthed by a mortal.............Note to self: Lay off the horror novels a bit.......

And things will get better when they want to get better. I've been through worse and kept going so this is truly nothing compared to what's happened before. I just decided not to keep it all bottled up this time. Literally made myself sick doing that a few times.  

[God_Recalled]

wow it must be so hard being you
your mom forgot your lunch money