I got lady problems

[SC_Anubis]

Okay, I need help understanding and opinions on what the hell I'm supposed to do now.

My ex and I were broken up for a few months. We agreed to leave it that way for at least a month to begin with and give each other time to straighten up our lives and improve. That month passes and she celebrates our return to contact with an endless hail of insults and emotional abuse. In her personal life, she made improvements by leaps and bounds, but she refuses to acknowledge any change on my part. My friends and family all note great change in me, inside and out. I'm a new and better person they say. My ex says I'm the same. Well I decide that by example and just dealing with the bull, I would show her the truth.

Several months pass and we get on much better terms. We hardly fight and are openly speaking about a multitude of things to each other freely. She is much nicer and I feel validated. Then she inadvertently confesses her true feelings for me and I return by telling her how much I still love her. We pretty much hook up at that point. Some other friends of mine that are female have a massive problem with this and start drama. I tell them to quit or else cause I didn't need that crap. They don't listen and my GF suggest that I do something drastic, but to make sure I don't end the friendships. I do and basically give them a last chance. One of them stops and is fine now. We are still friends. The other though goes nuts and starts emailing a storm of crap to my GF. They go at it, my GF is told that I'm playing them and juggling women. She flips out and demands that I prove myself to her. I do by openly announcing everything to my friends and family, chewing out the dramatic friend, and end the friendship. My ex scolds me for doing it then accepts it as the right thing to do.

A week goes by, we argue a couple of times. Nothing serious, just a spat here and there. Suddenly she starts going all weird, saying she didn't mean certain things the way she said them and starts claiming that conversations we had never happened. Then she starts distancing herself from me and suggesting that we weren't officially together. She acts depressed and tells me that there are better girls out there and blah blah blah. I keep reassuring and reminding her of my love and of my deeds that proved it. I remind her of her own words and feelings for me. The special times we shared recently and everything. She stops seeing me, having all sorts of excuses to ditch on me every damn time we have a date or something. Even phone calls become near impossible to make happen. She starts claiming I didn't change and that I never did everything different. That I always start the fights and that I am the rudest person to her. That I talk down about her friends and many other excuses. She starts in with the whole thing about other women for me and crap. I insist on the truth and she gets worse. We have a bigger fight out of no where. It happened at 6 am over the phone. I was hardly coherent and told her not to call me that early for that reason unless its important because I'm up late with school and work. We fight, I say some rude things, but nothing too insulting or degrading at all. I was more of a jerk in how I said everything because I was half asleep, annoyed that she called me just to chat, and that she claimed I had no excuses for sleeping and should be up already. Yeah, I was pissed and rude. I shouldn't have been. I apologized profusely and admitted my wrongs and took responsibility for the fight. What do I get in return? 2 days of silence. She refuses to talk to me and on the third day tells me straight up that she just deleted my texts without reading them. I try to ignore that crappy behavior and continue with how things should be, apologizing and everything. Instead of taking my apology, she throws it back at me and blames me for the whole thing and accuses me of never apologizing and intentionally insulting her everyday and starting fights. I take this crap and just apologize, though being sure to tell her the accusations are not true and that they make me feel hurt. She refuses to continue the conversation and says goodnight and hangs up on me. Rather rudely I might add.

After another day of silence, she calls me friday night from a drinking party that she is the designated driver for. She is used by these people as a tool and they openly tell her to her face thats all she is to them, a ride to the parties. She considers them friends, whatever. She openly tells me she's at this place and there she has been making friends with some guy named Nick that she always claims is nothing but nice and polite to her. I told her he was likely another guy at the party trying to get in her pants and being overly nice is a classic method to do it. She chews me out everytime I point that out, accusing me of being a know it all and s**t. I know this cause I'm a guy with a shameful past. I was damn good at this s**t! I would know! Anyway, she hangs up on me and calls back an hour later pretending to be drunk. I could easily tell cause I've seen and heard her drunk. Theres a monumental difference and I've heard her fake it before to others. She was faking it. I said whatever and that I knew she wasn't drinking cause she hates drinking and she's the driver. She hangs up. I get silence for the rest of the night and half of the next day.

Saturday, yesterday. She calls me in the afternoon. I say hi, but I can tell in her voice something is VERY wrong. She proceeds to tell me things between us will never work. That it was all a lie she told me just because. She then says she would have ended things with me a year ago, but was too afraid of being alone. She said she loves this Nick guy and that he is way better of a man that I. She also says I never changed and I never had a chance with her. That I'm screwed up and dangerous and that she is scared of me and always had a knife to defend herself if I tried anything. She said kissing me always felt wrong and that she knew we were never meant to be. She said that I'm lucky she is even telling me this instead of just blocking my number and email and disappearing from my life without a word. She says that the most we can ever be is acquaintances and I'll be lucky if she even allows that. She repeats she loves Nick and that I need to get over her and find the girl for me. All this bullshit out of nowhere. I protest and try to remind her of what she used to say and how things were better between us than they had been for a long time. That yes we argue and sometimes I make mistakes but I'm human and I do my best to fix things and make her happy. That I love her with all my being and that I know in my heart we are meant to be, just like she had said so many times before. She cuts me off by yelling and cursing over the phone. She claims I was only ever an infatuation to her, something random and exciting and nothing more. Then she threatens me with the blocking stuff, and tells me she's too mad at me to talk and hangs up. I'm left sitting in my chair in my room in tears with the phone still up against my ear for minutes after in disbelief.

I'm clueless as to what in the hell I did. I just can't figure it out. I did my best to treat her better than she deserved, to love her with all my heart. Yes I made mistakes, but I promptly would strive to rectify them soon after. I would take responsibility and apologize every time! From what I can tell, I've done nothing to deserve that type of ferocious break up from her. To make things worse, her behavior and reasoning just doesn't add up in the slightest. I've done things to her before that were 1000 times worse and would refuse to apologize and we would still manage to get along and make things work and that was before the first breakup. I am so much better now, and she does this? She's know this Nick guy for about 2 or 3 weeks, seeing him only once each weekend at the parties where she doesn't drink or do any drugs. Theres nothing to point they have a relationship other than barely knowing each other. She has an extensive past with me of over a year! We loved each other with everything we were. Only a couple of weeks ago she was telling me that she loved me eternally. She would always say the words "Always and Forever" when referring to our love or our being together. Her behavior was always 100% in love with me no matter what! Our love was true and something changed that. Something within the last couple of weeks changed it all. Its nothing I did this I am sure of, other than being by all means the perfect man. It all feels so wrong. I know her better than anyone. I know when she is lying or unsure or just repeating what someone said to her. I know when she truly believes something and when she doesn't. Everything about that last call and her weird behavior that led to it SCREAMS something is WAY OFF!

Thats pretty much the whole thing. I need advice. I don't understand any of it. I really don't. Its all just so wrong and in my heart I know it. I just don't know what to do or what it all means.  

[Dance of Pales]

welll from reading the whole passage,i wud say she is a psychopath and a b***h for doing all tht to u. shes not even worth going out with if all thts happening.if she doesnt want to be with u,then accept it. theres many fish in the sea and if its not meant to be its not meant to be.  

[Xahmen]

Love isn't love unless both parties are out of high school.  

[Death of Cool]

kick that b***h to the curb and never speak to her again. seriously.  

[master_maji]

now all you who began to hate,begin with an open mind
i say most of these posters are right , albeit extremely rude and vulgar, if she plays with you as the cat withe the mouse then consider she A: is an unstable person with deep turmoil, B: lacks the ability to be not fickle or C: she is just too much to handle.  

[SADERR]

Zahmen II

Love isn't love unless both parties are out of high school.

Your unfounded certainty in opinionative factoids you spew out is really annoying, you know that?
You can't just graduate and say "Oh, we're in love now!" Even though, frankly, the day you were not before? Humans do not work like that. Our emotions are not linked to timelines created recently, our emotions are much, much deeper then faux timelines.
You, sir, disgust me.

On topic:
I have to say, this ex of yours has some certain psychological problems that she needs to sort out by herself. Look in other places, you may find someone else. But perhaps one day when she is cleared of these problems(They are. She clearly has exceeding psychological disruption), you'll be in contact with her again.

Don't hold onto the tatters of this past relationship, but if you ever have a need and want to take the chance again, it should be when her problems are cleared up.  

[Xahmen]

Jonathonn

Zahmen II

Love isn't love unless both parties are out of high school.

Your unfounded certainty in opinionative factoids you spew out is really annoying, you know that?
You can't just graduate and say "Oh, we're in love now!" Even though, frankly, the day you were not before? Humans do not work like that. Our emotions are not linked to timelines created recently, our emotions are much, much deeper then faux timelines.
You, sir, disgust me.

On topic:
I have to say, this ex of yours has some certain psychological problems that she needs to sort out by herself. Look in other places, you may find someone else. But perhaps one day when she is cleared of these problems(They are. She clearly has exceeding psychological disruption), you'll be in contact with her again.

Don't hold onto the tatters of this past relationship, but if you ever have a need and want to take the chance again, it should be when her problems are cleared up.

Not sure if serious.  

[Angel of the End]

Well, if this Nick guy is the kind of guy you say he is... and if she is as emotional... Girls have this one issue, which is usually that once they sleep with a guy, they love him. Guys usually, unless they already really truely deeply loved the girl, irreguardless of making out and what not, don't really see it as much more than just sex. Females are the opposite, very sadly, in most cases. If she was telling the truth to you on the phone, which even if it is not real love and she just thinks it is, above is probably what happened, or what is going to happen. I know it is hard to take... but if she is doing this to you now, and if she had been so difficult before, she probably didn't love you as deeply as you loved her. Those things she said on the phone, about the kissing and knife, she is either making it up or else she is remembering just a small, small part of your time together. We have a tendency to do that... I nearly did that once, if things had not changed, I would of most certainly made by far the worst mistake in my life. With a girl like that, though, it is pointless to chase after anymore. Every girl wants to be chased after, to have a guy who is willing to change for her, even though you did that, she probably just... well, she saw everything as half empty and not even an ounce full.

I'm really sorry. I can really just imagine what you are going through... Nothing is worse than feeling pain like that, human's were not made to feel that kind of pain... if we were, it would be so much easier, but "misery" is just not part of our nature. Again, my deepest feelings and prayers for you.  

[PetreyDish]

Angel of the End

Girls have this one issue, which is usually that once they sleep with a guy, they love him.

No. Just, no.  

[Angel of the End]

Zahmen II

Love isn't love unless both parties are out of high school.

I understand worrying about how serious things can be, considering "teenage angst" and the fact that with teenagers, every day has the possiblity of being the worst day ever, and the fact that they take themselves so seriously... but I can personally tell you, on many different terms, that statement is false. It depends on the person, surroundings, emotional stability, maturity, (hard to say this one) intelligence, and other factors. But this is beside the point.

Even if this guy was not in high school, the pain he feels is just a real and just as deep.

You don't stitch up a broken artery any different depending on what age the injured patient is: the injury is just the same.  

[Angel of the End]

DancesWithBats

Angel of the End

Girls have this one issue, which is usually that once they sleep with a guy, they love him.

No. Just, no.

I am happy for you. But from personal experience... well, more like nearly every female in my family and friends, this is the case. It is almost like they unknowingly set themselves up to be hurt. Irreguardless, I am happy that appearently in your personal surroundings, that is not the case.  

[Whisper Gently]

Angel of the End

Girls have this one issue, which is usually that once they sleep with a guy, they love him.

Bullshit.

 

[PetreyDish]

Angel of the End

DancesWithBats

Angel of the End

Girls have this one issue, which is usually that once they sleep with a guy, they love him.

No. Just, no.

I am happy for you. But from personal experience... well, more like nearly every female in my family and friends, this is the case. It is almost like they unknowingly set themselves up to be hurt. Irreguardless, I am happy that appearently in your personal surroundings, that is not the case.

Just because you know a few people who are like that doesn't mean everyone is. In fancy terms, it's a logical fallacy called composition, to be exact.

I don't understand why you are "happy for me". Have I done something celebratory?

Also, irregaurdless isn't a word.  

[Xahmen]

DancesWithBats

Angel of the End

Girls have this one issue, which is usually that once they sleep with a guy, they love him.

No. Just, no.

D:

Dude my heart