my ex

[WoodSorrelWitch]

I knew Fred for about a year before we dated in high school. When we were together, it was for about 4 1/2 years.

Life happened. It got really stressful for the both of us. My parents hate him. They wish he would die (I'm not kidding, they have told me this a few times to my face).
He wasn't going to college and he couldn't find a job. I was sick and tired of paying for everything and we were both tired of the arguments.
I tried to be a gf instead of a mom, but it just wasn't happening anymore.

He ended up breaking up with me, dating some other slut for a bit, went off to boot camp half way across the state, realized what a ******** head he was for shattering my heart and now wants to get back together.

It's been about six or seven months since he broke up with the slut and it's been about two months since he's been back from basic training.

Since then, he's been so remorseful, he's contemplated on not getting back together with me for fear he might hurt me like that again. In a nutshell, I was so depressed because I never thought he would do what he did that I was afraid I might of died. I'm not an emo like that. I just gave him so much of me emotionally. We were engaged and I had in a way, already given my vows to him. I trusted him with everything. So it was crushing when you are that devoted to someone who does something that ******** up to you.

Anyways. He's been remorseful. He's been more respectful. He does things like send me texts and voicemails that tell me how much I mean to him. He hasn't shown any real interest in any other girl and he's been waiting for me to say yes again.

Part of me wants to say yes because I still love him.
Part of me wants to say no because of what he did. The trust isn't exactly what it was but it's healing.

Then part of me is afraid to say yes for fear of everyone else's reaction. My family pretty much hates him. And they've never bothered to ask me why I've been with him for so long and they've never been willing to get to know him.

My dad has been saying, "You only get one life." The implication was that he didn't want me to be with Fred.

The thing is, I only get one life. He made me happy. He still makes me happy. I'd like for him to grow up a bit more sometimes but that's who Fred is. That's part of him that I fell in love with in high school. He's 21 now and I'm 22.

I only get one life. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering how it would be to spend the rest of my life with him if I say no. He's changing units and he might get deployed. I'm such a mess with this confusion. I don't want to spend my life waiting and wondering. It's cliche but I want to live like I'm dying and life with no regrets.

*big sigh*

Would anyone be willing to give some words of adivce?
Feel free to ask questions if something should be clarified.  

[u nd i]

People experience love in different ways, so it always hard to give advice on subjects such as these.

So here is what I will say: Follow your heart, not anybody else's. At the end of the day it is what you think about him that matters most.  

[WoodSorrelWitch]

Thank you very much for the post. It did help.  

[ALLIGAT0R TEARS]

Well give it a go and you'll really have nothing to regret. Try it out and see if it is worth it. BUT do it with caution.  

[WoodSorrelWitch]

AmberElric

Well give it a go and you'll really have nothing to regret. Try it out and see if it is worth it. BUT do it with caution.

Thank you for the advice. Could you elaborate a little on what you mean by being cautious?
I have some thoughts and ideas of my own but I'm curious to see what you meant.  

[The_Brightest_Moon]

....almost sounds like my ex in a few years.... though he's learned his lesson early, I worry about the path he's going in. Try again with him but try not to get attached. Yes, that is very hard. But when you feel the relationship start to get rocky, end it. Get out of there while you still can. Tell him that if you're gonna give it a go again, you don't want to get hurt again. Make sure he knows that he's kind of on thin ice.

I wish you luck!!! Part of your life experience is learning from the chances you take.  

[WoodSorrelWitch]

Thanks for the post and the luck ^^
Though I don't mean to sound rude when I say this, but I've experienced enough in relationships to know that getting hurt is part of the relationship. It's part of life. Right now, I believe that how we handle it helps make or break the relationship. He knows he's on thin ice; right now he can't believe why I'm still talking to him much less considering him my best friend.
I hope he has learned; I know I sure have. Thanks for the post again :3  

[R3x is bck]

I've been in that type of situation before with a female though since I'm bi. It was complicated like she proposed and I said yes cuz we were together for like a year and then we started to fade away kinda liek the same with this guy I liked for the longest time and finally went out with him. Then he broke my heart saying lets stay friends. Its up to you really i've learned to not always trust what they say and just think around it or be open minded.

 

[wovienna]

i will give it a try. say yes but dont give him your hole heart. parents should not matter because they always will tell you the guy you date is not good for u. if you love him than be with him just keep your heart in your hands not his. If you say yes tell him you have to be in this relation to. you have to help me out and you need to get a good job and you need to go to college it will be good for you. If he does not listen than leave him.
i now how it is with guys so take my invasive. I'm 20 ur's old and i been with my boyfriend for 2 years and six mouth. i told him after we got out of high school if he didn't get a job, car, or go to college i'm leaving. he done everything i asked him to do. he still like a little kid ( where i have to be a mom sometimes) but he does the same to me. We are both together in our relationship. i love the little kid sometimes and other things about him.
If you love Fred as much than give him another try. I hope you'll work out because your heart can only take so much. I now how it feels to have a broken heart and i hope you get your fix..
Good luck.. biggrin xd  

[ALLIGAT0R TEARS]

PawzPrint

AmberElric

Well give it a go and you'll really have nothing to regret. Try it out and see if it is worth it. BUT do it with caution.

Thank you for the advice. Could you elaborate a little on what you mean by being cautious?
I have some thoughts and ideas of my own but I'm curious to see what you meant.

Do not let yourself be taken for granted and keep an eye for any slip ups. Just don't let yourself be blinded. Also go in with a strong mentality, by not getting hopes so high so that if things fall apart you won't crash and burn. Hope that made sense. (sorry for the late reply)  

[EvilMoofinz101]

If you still love him, it is not your parents descision. You make your own descision.

My ex, (who has an account here) broke my heart, hurt me, dissed me and did whatever he did. I still loved him and he hated me. But, he told me "Deep down, I'll still love you..." It was a lie. He stomped on my heart. But, I met a friend on here and we are unseperable. smile *hugs my buddeh cuz I loves him so*

He ruined his chances to get back together with me. Cause, my parents found out about his rude behavior towards me. I don't care though, because I'm afraid of him. It's kinda weird to say...but, I am.

If your guy just so happens to be like him...don't do it...but, if he hasn't done this, go for it.  

[Kaiyle Brightblade]

You only get one life. Follow your heart. Hopefully his training and his time apart from you has matured him to the stage where he will appreciate you more. I think people deserve second chances, but not third chances. Keep that in mind.  

[xXNightRose14Xx]

<3 -huggles- think of what you want to do, not what other people will think, if you want to get back with him, then go back with him, if your scared of what your parents say then just say "I love him, you can't change that, maybe if you get to know him you might like him"
also remember, its better to regret something you did then something you never did. <3  

[I Red Roze I]

promise me one thing just dontt let your self get super duper attached... your dad is right that you only get one life so i would go with it.