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Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:38 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 12:45 pm
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This is so sweet. smile I'm 'squeeing' on the inside.
My only critiques are that you seem to switch between present and past tense,
Quote: ...she whispers to the man seated next to her on the dampening lawn. "What is that my sweet wolf?" he says, looking at her with curiosity...
and that the language is very formal for the speech. I may be just me, but it seems a bit out of place. I think if you added more distinct styles of speech between the two characters, for such a short piece you could get more characterization out of it.
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