What do I do about him? Help me.

[drink more ovaltine]

I posted this in the LI a while ago, but maybe I could get some advice here. heart

So I have a friend and we'll call him John, and I have another friend and we'll call him Mark.

I didn't really know John very well. My freshman year he would say, "hi" to me when I passed him walking across campus to my classes. But this year I have a few classes with him and since last semester I've grown pretty close to John and we talk about a lot of personal stuff now, like his family issues and school and things of that matter. He walks with me to my classes, and helps me out with my work when I need it, and he always has the right things to say.

So basically, John is a total sweetheart. Until Mark comes around, that is.
Mark is the most sarcastic, hilarious, guy I know. But he takes his jokes way too far sometimes, almost to the point that the things he says get a little too personal and on the rare occasion, hurtful. But he's been out of line for as long as I've known him, and that's just who he is, and I can accept that most of the time.

And I guess I have a thing for John, and people have been trying to hook us up for a while now. But I'm not sure how much John knows about the situation. Mark was one of the first people who knew, but I'm not sure if he told John anything. He pokes fun at the two of us whenever we're together though, and has posted pictures of John and me on my facebook, and says s**t like, "YOU GUYS SHOULD JUST ---- ALREADY," not that either of us takes that seriously. ... If this makes any difference.

Anyway, I guess John and Mark are friends - or they hang out a lot anyway. And they're both part of my little clique (I guess you'd call it) in school. So I'll be hanging around with John, and Mark will come along and John's attitude towards me totally changes. He goes from being a total sweetheart to a complete jerk; the same sarcastic attitude and snarky comments as Mark, sometimes worse. But the minute Mark leaves, John is a total sweetheart again and acts like nothing happened.

So basically I'm like, "WTF?" about it.
I've told John before that he's being a jerk, and if Mark's around, it does nothing. Well... If anything it makes him act like even more of a jerk.

How do I deal with my friend's attitude? And why do guys act different when other guys are around? Thanks in advance.
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[Giavanna Lee]

That sounds hurtful. I think that guys act like this in front of other guys because they are afraid that if they show their true emotions they may seem less "manly". I hope that makes sense. Maybe you could ask him why guys act differently around other guys but don't say anything along the lines of "Why do you act like a jerk when you're around Mark." If this annoys you a lot then let Mark and John hang out with each other a little bit and find something else to do until they are finished talking so that you don't have to deal with his attitude. Best of luck in your relationship smile  

[RosesFallingLikeRain]

Giavanna Lee

That sounds hurtful. I think that guys act like this in front of other guys because they are afraid that if they show their true emotions they may seem less "manly". I hope that makes sense. Maybe you could ask him why guys act differently around other guys but don't say anything along the lines of "Why do you act like a jerk when you're around Mark." If this annoys you a lot then let Mark and John hang out with each other a little bit and find something else to do until they are finished talking so that you don't have to deal with his attitude. Best of luck in your relationship smile

--Anorexic beauty queen, with painted eyes so toxic...--



Exactly this. ^^^^

--...Flowers painted on her back, centerfold erotic--

 

[Kaiyle Brightblade]

Sounds like John is embarrassed about Mark's comments and trying to conceal his feelings about you. I'd recommend doing either or both of the following:

1. Ask John out and encourage him to be open about his feelings for you.
2. Tell Mark to knock of the snarky comments about you two hooking up, it's not funny anymore.  

[Liviania]

Since you've already received good advice, I'll answer your second question. Guys act differently when other guys are around because of testosterone poisoning.