Relationships With Non-Believers

[8Ares8]

Well I do understand that you can be pulled away from your faith by anyone even if they are not consciously trying... but I must say that most strong and/or logically minded believers to be pulled away by anything short of your world ending...

So my take on this policy of the bible's is to more protect our spirits rather than our walk. Because my friend was dating a girl since highschool and she was not saved and he was. They were a great couple and they got married after college, she still was not a christian. And two months ago she died in the hospital after a car accident. We don't know if she asked for forgiveness before she passed...

so my point is: How would you feel if the person you loved most in the world died and you didn't know if they were burning in hell for all eternity or not?  

[viper_353]

Umm...I believe it says in the bible somewhere that we shouldn't be dating people who are not Christians. Mostly because really: They don't have the reason for life in common with you. What matters most is not somethng that the two people can share. And personally, I want to be able to kneel before the cross and pray over the guy I love. I think that the best thing to do is try and bring them to Christ before you date them. That way, their life is changed, and also you have this special relationship with them. Like anyone, all we can do is hope there. We have no way of knowing what goes on with them and God before they die. And it's the same with friends. You just don't know and can pray that you'll see them there one day. sad  

[freelance lover]

Considering I'm a religious pluralist, I probably wouldn't be worried about the whole issue, I'd just be too busy grieving. I recognize most major world religions as having validation and as all recognizing the same God, so I feel like as long as people are recognizing and respecting some higher God we're both more or less on the same page- at least in a broad sense. They only time I would ever be concerned would be if they were an atheist.

I usually avoid dating people who don't have similar religious beliefs to mine. My boyfriend calls himself a Transcendentalist, but we both believe in God, recognize Jesus, and have similar other religious views. Even though he doesn't label himself Christian, we still believe the same thing. It has nothing to do with my concern about his salvation or anything, it's just easier to be in a long term relationship when you both agree on things that are important to you.

I also think trying to convert someone just because you like them is extremely wrong and selfish. Besides, plenty of people are happy in interfaith relationships. Most enjoy learning about the other faith and come to find that, regardless of the different labels, they have the same core values and beliefs.  

[viper_353]

freelance lover

Considering I'm a religious pluralist, I probably wouldn't be worried about the whole issue, I'd just be too busy grieving. I recognize most major world religions as having validation and as all recognizing the same God, so I feel like as long as people are recognizing and respecting some higher God we're both more or less on the same page- at least in a broad sense. They only time I would ever be concerned would be if they were an atheist.

I usually avoid dating people who don't have similar religious beliefs to mine. My boyfriend calls himself a Transcendentalist, but we both believe in God, recognize Jesus, and have similar other religious views. Even though he doesn't label himself Christian, we still believe the same thing. It has nothing to do with my concern about his salvation or anything, it's just easier to be in a long term relationship when you both agree on things that are important to you.

I also think trying to convert someone just because you like them is extremely wrong and selfish. Besides, plenty of people are happy in interfaith relationships. Most enjoy learning about the other faith and come to find that, regardless of the different labels, they have the same core values and beliefs.

I don't think it would be selfish at all. And the word 'convert' is one that really bugs me, because in my mind it's not converting, it's more meeting the God you've always wanted to know. In fact, I'm really tired of the idea that it's 'selfish' to make someone feel uncomfortable. To ask them to change their views for yours. Because in the end, I am not wanting to be standing there, with God's glory shining behind me as I weep for my friend who never had a person try hard enough to tell him that Jesus loves him. It's just not something that I could bare. And maybe that is selfish because I'm not going to lte that hurt me, but I never want to be held accountable for someone not going to heaven. There's a song we used to sing in kids church...'I'll become, even more undignified than this. Some may say it's foolishness, but I'll become...' And that song is one I think of on a lot of situations (it's amazing what those little kids church songs say). Because we are not for this world. God created us with a soul, and commanded that we not be in love with this world, but in love with him. And he said that you can't be both. And so I think that comfort, or the worry of offending someone is worth nothing compared to him. Compared to his promise.
And I'm sorry, this might be a little offtopic. redface  

[Matt Pniewski]

viper_353

Umm...I believe it says in the bible somewhere that we shouldn't be dating people who are not Christians. Mostly because really: They don't have the reason for life in common with you. What matters most is not somethng that the two people can share. And personally, I want to be able to kneel before the cross and pray over the guy I love. I think that the best thing to do is try and bring them to Christ before you date them. That way, their life is changed, and also you have this special relationship with them. Like anyone, all we can do is hope there. We have no way of knowing what goes on with them and God before they die. And it's the same with friends. You just don't know and can pray that you'll see them there one day. sad

One of the only reasons I have a distaste for the Islamic faith is because they are also told not to be dating outside the religion. The difference is, that was forced. Imagine my Prom, which I spent with the Charming young Muslim woman who was completely sane, instead of the Christian girl I brought there who was certifiably mad. Somehow, I wish the Muslim girl was My date, because we actually clicked on an intellectual level. We had a life in common. We had politics, we had cartoons, we had similar backgrounds.

I'm actually quite offended by the notion of "Bring them to Christ" before. I'm not planning on doing that with my Agnostic girlfriend. I'm planning on being a good Christian, and hoping she follows my example. As it is, I'm not going to say "Hey, we are perfect for eachother in every way. Now go find Jesus". That's a bit of a d**k move. Besides, if she follows my advice, her faith would be just for show. She knows I'm a Christian, we openly discuss religion, because if a type of discussion is taboo with the person you love, your relationship is doomed to complete and utter (and sometimes hilarious) failure.

I have no problem with the notion that she might not go to Heaven, because I do not believe in a literal hell. I subscribe to that theory that Hell is death, plain and simple. Makes more sense (and actually frightens me) more than eternal torment. She will die, I will live. That REALLY sucks. But we both suffer for our individual choices in our life, why should our After life be any different?


Bottom line, I don't care what they believe, as long as they don't scoff at what I believe. As long as they have good morals. My girlfriend was raised with an agnostic mother and a Wiccan father (but he was an abusive jerk, so let's forget him), and that has not effected her morals in the slightest. She HAS good, Christian morals. She doesn't believe in Christ or God, but she's a good person, and hopefully the faith will come.  

[freelance lover]

viper_353

freelance lover

Considering I'm a religious pluralist, I probably wouldn't be worried about the whole issue, I'd just be too busy grieving. I recognize most major world religions as having validation and as all recognizing the same God, so I feel like as long as people are recognizing and respecting some higher God we're both more or less on the same page- at least in a broad sense. They only time I would ever be concerned would be if they were an atheist.

I usually avoid dating people who don't have similar religious beliefs to mine. My boyfriend calls himself a Transcendentalist, but we both believe in God, recognize Jesus, and have similar other religious views. Even though he doesn't label himself Christian, we still believe the same thing. It has nothing to do with my concern about his salvation or anything, it's just easier to be in a long term relationship when you both agree on things that are important to you.

I also think trying to convert someone just because you like them is extremely wrong and selfish. Besides, plenty of people are happy in interfaith relationships. Most enjoy learning about the other faith and come to find that, regardless of the different labels, they have the same core values and beliefs.

I don't think it would be selfish at all. And the word 'convert' is one that really bugs me, because in my mind it's not converting, it's more meeting the God you've always wanted to know. In fact, I'm really tired of the idea that it's 'selfish' to make someone feel uncomfortable. To ask them to change their views for yours. Because in the end, I am not wanting to be standing there, with God's glory shining behind me as I weep for my friend who never had a person try hard enough to tell him that Jesus loves him. It's just not something that I could bare. And maybe that is selfish because I'm not going to lte that hurt me, but I never want to be held accountable for someone not going to heaven. There's a song we used to sing in kids church...'I'll become, even more undignified than this. Some may say it's foolishness, but I'll become...' And that song is one I think of on a lot of situations (it's amazing what those little kids church songs say). Because we are not for this world. God created us with a soul, and commanded that we not be in love with this world, but in love with him. And he said that you can't be both. And so I think that comfort, or the worry of offending someone is worth nothing compared to him. Compared to his promise.
And I'm sorry, this might be a little offtopic. redface

I'm not going to touch too much on the other religions part, because we have a thread one the validity of other faiths in our archives. If you're interested in my thoughts on other religions and why their valid, I explain it there, or you're always welcome to PM me.

While I think allowing others to convert to our faith is fine, it's never something that should be forced upon them. Especially because making them uncomfortable will probably be a major turn off to even consider Christianity as a faith they can relate to. Besides, in this day and age pretty much everyone in America knows what Christianity is. At this point, it seems the best way to convert someone is simply to be a compassionate person. Actions speak louder than words, after all.

Now, if you are talking to/dating a non-Christian and they decide on their own accord they wish the convert, good for them. You can help them in their walk, but if they don't wish ton convert, either find a compromise or don't date them. Conversion and acceptance of God is something that a person needs to come to on their own accord, otherwise it's not really their choice. Besides, as I've already said I think a Jew, Muslim, Hindu, etc are just as capable of seeing God as any Christian, and most religions come down to the same core values.

And the song is Undignified by David Crowder, and it's actually more about worshiping in your own way and not being ashamed to do so.  

[Call Me Apple]

Matt Pniewski

One of the only reasons I have a distaste for the Islamic faith is because they are also told not to be dating outside the religion. The difference is, that was forced. Imagine my Prom, which I spent with the Charming young Muslim woman who was completely sane, instead of the Christian girl I brought there who was certifiably mad. Somehow, I wish the Muslim girl was My date, because we actually clicked on an intellectual level. We had a life in common. We had politics, we had cartoons, we had similar backgrounds.

If that Muslim girl was at a prom, she probably would date a Non-Muslim.
Muslims are not allowed to go at dances and such where there is mixing of the genders.  

[Matt Pniewski]

Call Me Apple

Matt Pniewski

One of the only reasons I have a distaste for the Islamic faith is because they are also told not to be dating outside the religion. The difference is, that was forced. Imagine my Prom, which I spent with the Charming young Muslim woman who was completely sane, instead of the Christian girl I brought there who was certifiably mad. Somehow, I wish the Muslim girl was My date, because we actually clicked on an intellectual level. We had a life in common. We had politics, we had cartoons, we had similar backgrounds.

If that Muslim girl was at a prom, she probably would date a Non-Muslim.
Muslims are now allowed to go at dances and such where there is mixing of the genders.

Which is also true, her Family was hardly conservative. Remember, I'm twenty four talking about things from when I was seventeen. As it is, it does irritate me as a rule.  

[Lazarus The Resurected]

viper_353

Umm...I believe it says in the bible somewhere that we shouldn't be dating people who are not Christians. Mostly because really: They don't have the reason for life in common with you. What matters most is not somethng that the two people can share. And personally, I want to be able to kneel before the cross and pray over the guy I love. I think that the best thing to do is try and bring them to Christ before you date them. That way, their life is changed, and also you have this special relationship with them. Like anyone, all we can do is hope there. We have no way of knowing what goes on with them and God before they die. And it's the same with friends. You just don't know and can pray that you'll see them there one day. sad

Do you honestly think that you and or for example a Buddhist, Wiccan, or Muslim wouldn't share Christian values? Or are you saying that seriously your SLOE REASON for living each day is a personal relationship with a ghost who didn't even wright his own message down? I'm almost certain that one of Paul's letters says not to mary non-believers but I'm not sure if the concept or practice of dating as we know it today even existed at the time the letter was written (or had any kind of equivalent). Also, I would advise against "Bringing them to God" (the rest of us call it "Conversion") before dating them because an average a person new to christianity is alot less stable in thier "walk" than a long term practitioner. This can be aproblem because it strains the newbie, they are trying to build a relationship with a person and a deity at the same time. Back in my church-going days alot of my friends tried your method. None of the relationships lasted (both with god and with the significant other). Also, just because someone isn't christian doesn't mean you can't pray for them. I still let my Christian friends lay hands on me and pray (it makes them feel better about me).

::EDIT::
your second post. I'd like to clear up a couple of things. Firstly I got to know your God and found I didn't want to know Him anymore, so I left. Tying to my second point 3 years after I moved away from my small town and two years after I found Satanism an old friend of mine from my former church died of a recreational drug overdose. So i went back to my home church for the funeral. It was the first time that I'd been back since my "fall". Someone had the exact same mentality as you that I hadn't been told properly about Christ. He tried to talk me back to God while I was TRYING TO FREAKING MOURN!
(in know it's a little off topic but i needed to reply to those ideas.)

Ares: By Christian doctrine unless she happened to say or think "God forgive me." and realy meant it right before her death, she's probably not in heaven. Ask yourself if it was in her nature or personality to have done that and answer honestly. As for your question: I have actualy been in that exacet scenario more than once (alot of my friends died while I was growing up, most were either non-christians or lip-service christans, they went to church, worshipped and prayed but also got high and laid. All of the ones that weren't suicides, were sudden so it's unlikely that they had time to pray for forgiveness.) I've found it best for my recovery to simply put that thought out of my mind and think about the good times. Asked that question with my current perception I can honestly tell you that I don't care because Satanists don't believe in an afterlife. I grieve the loss of my friends and family but i do right by Satanism to keep thier memory, and thus,thier immortal spirit alive in me.  

[viper_353]

Lazarus The Resurected

viper_353

Umm...I believe it says in the bible somewhere that we shouldn't be dating people who are not Christians. Mostly because really: They don't have the reason for life in common with you. What matters most is not somethng that the two people can share. And personally, I want to be able to kneel before the cross and pray over the guy I love. I think that the best thing to do is try and bring them to Christ before you date them. That way, their life is changed, and also you have this special relationship with them. Like anyone, all we can do is hope there. We have no way of knowing what goes on with them and God before they die. And it's the same with friends. You just don't know and can pray that you'll see them there one day. sad

Do you honestly think that you and or for example a Buddhist, Wiccan, or Muslim wouldn't share Christian values? Or are you saying that seriously your SLOE REASON for living each day is a personal relationship with a ghost who didn't even wright his own message down? I'm almost certain that one of Paul's letters says not to mary non-believers but I'm not sure if the concept or practice of dating as we know it today even existed at the time the letter was written (or had any kind of equivalent). Also, I would advise against "Bringing them to God" (the rest of us call it "Conversion") before dating them because an average a person new to christianity is alot less stable in thier "walk" than a long term practitioner. This can be aproblem because it strains the newbie, they are trying to build a relationship with a person and a deity at the same time. Back in my church-going days alot of my friends tried your method. None of the relationships lasted (both with god and with the significant other). Also, just because someone isn't christian doesn't mean you can't pray for them. I still let my Christian friends lay hands on me and pray (it makes them feel better about me).

::EDIT::
your second post. I'd like to clear up a couple of things. Firstly I got to know your God and found I didn't want to know Him anymore, so I left. Tying to my second point 3 years after I moved away from my small town and two years after I found Satanism an old friend of mine from my former church died of a recreational drug overdose. So i went back to my home church for the funeral. It was the first time that I'd been back since my "fall". Someone had the exact same mentality as you that I hadn't been told properly about Christ. He tried to talk me back to God while I was TRYING TO FREAKING MOURN!
(in know it's a little off topic but i needed to reply to those ideas.)

Ares: By Christian doctrine unless she happened to say or think "God forgive me." and realy meant it right before her death, she's probably not in heaven. Ask yourself if it was in her nature or personality to have done that and answer honestly. As for your question: I have actualy been in that exacet scenario more than once (alot of my friends died while I was growing up, most were either non-christians or lip-service christans, they went to church, worshipped and prayed but also got high and laid. All of the ones that weren't suicides, were sudden so it's unlikely that they had time to pray for forgiveness.) I've found it best for my recovery to simply put that thought out of my mind and think about the good times. Asked that question with my current perception I can honestly tell you that I don't care because Satanists don't believe in an afterlife. I grieve the loss of my friends and family but i do right by Satanism to keep thier memory, and thus,thier immortal spirit alive in me.

No, but I'm just saying that something I would feel very strongly about he wouldn't be able to directly relate with. I'm sorry about your friend and what that guy did. I know well enough that sometimes prayer is all that helps. That people are sometimes so often having the 'tell them about Jesus' approach pushed upon them over and over again that they aren't able to absorb anymore than they already have. And then, it's time to always back off. And I'm glad that you still have friends to pray for you. I'm sorry guys. I know I ticked a lot of people off with that post, but I was ticked off myself and still feel that most of the points are valid. I admit that in lots of situations, yelling about Jesus (being a 'bible thumper') to them probably isn't the best approach. But certainly in some situations it is. Please don't argue with me on that.  

[Lazarus The Resurected]

viper_353

Lazarus The Resurected

viper_353

Umm...I believe it says in the bible somewhere that we shouldn't be dating people who are not Christians. Mostly because really: They don't have the reason for life in common with you. What matters most is not somethng that the two people can share. And personally, I want to be able to kneel before the cross and pray over the guy I love. I think that the best thing to do is try and bring them to Christ before you date them. That way, their life is changed, and also you have this special relationship with them. Like anyone, all we can do is hope there. We have no way of knowing what goes on with them and God before they die. And it's the same with friends. You just don't know and can pray that you'll see them there one day. sad

Do you honestly think that you and or for example a Buddhist, Wiccan, or Muslim wouldn't share Christian values? Or are you saying that seriously your SLOE REASON for living each day is a personal relationship with a ghost who didn't even wright his own message down? I'm almost certain that one of Paul's letters says not to mary non-believers but I'm not sure if the concept or practice of dating as we know it today even existed at the time the letter was written (or had any kind of equivalent). Also, I would advise against "Bringing them to God" (the rest of us call it "Conversion") before dating them because an average a person new to christianity is alot less stable in thier "walk" than a long term practitioner. This can be aproblem because it strains the newbie, they are trying to build a relationship with a person and a deity at the same time. Back in my church-going days alot of my friends tried your method. None of the relationships lasted (both with god and with the significant other). Also, just because someone isn't christian doesn't mean you can't pray for them. I still let my Christian friends lay hands on me and pray (it makes them feel better about me).

::EDIT::
your second post. I'd like to clear up a couple of things. Firstly I got to know your God and found I didn't want to know Him anymore, so I left. Tying to my second point 3 years after I moved away from my small town and two years after I found Satanism an old friend of mine from my former church died of a recreational drug overdose. So i went back to my home church for the funeral. It was the first time that I'd been back since my "fall". Someone had the exact same mentality as you that I hadn't been told properly about Christ. He tried to talk me back to God while I was TRYING TO FREAKING MOURN!
(in know it's a little off topic but I needed to reply to those ideas.)

Ares: By Christian doctrine unless she happened to say or think "God forgive me." and realy meant it right before her death, she's probably not in heaven. Ask yourself if it was in her nature or personality to have done that and answer honestly. As for your question: I have actualy been in that exacet scenario more than once (alot of my friends died while I was growing up, most were either non-christians or lip-service christans, they went to church, worshipped and prayed but also got high and laid. All of the ones that weren't suicides, were sudden so it's unlikely that they had time to pray for forgiveness.) I've found it best for my recovery to simply put that thought out of my mind and think about the good times. Asked that question with my current perception I can honestly tell you that I don't care because Satanists don't believe in an afterlife. I grieve the loss of my friends and family but i do right by Satanism to keep thier memory, and thus,thier immortal spirit alive in me.

No, but I'm just saying that something I would feel very strongly about he wouldn't be able to directly relate with. I'm sorry about your friend and what that guy did. I know well enough that sometimes prayer is all that helps. That people are sometimes so often having the 'tell them about Jesus' approach pushed upon them over and over again that they aren't able to absorb anymore than they already have. And then, it's time to always back off. And I'm glad that you still have friends to pray for you. I'm sorry guys. I know I ticked a lot of people off with that post, but I was ticked off myself and still feel that most of the points are valid. I admit that in lots of situations, yelling about Jesus (being a 'bible thumper') to them probably isn't the best approach. But certainly in some situations it is. Please don't argue with me on that.

Sorry, but I have to argue with you on that. Before my enlightenment I always felt that talking civily and showing was much more efective than "bible thumping". Believe it or not, some of my best conversations with peopl about God were over a couple of beers. But, I'm a Satanist, what can I possibly know about evangelism?  

[MatthewLovesChocolate123]

God doesn't want us to have a relationship with non-believers! mostly because they choose not to believe in God and they can ruin your life! wahmbulance  

[Matt Pniewski]

MatthewLovesChocolate123

God doesn't want us to have a relationship with non-believers! mostly because they choose not to believe in God and they can ruin your life! wahmbulance

Edited: Insult(s)


Really now?

How so?

You are just spouting random nonsense , because that's probably all you have in your tiny mind. The only way they could ruin your life in ways that Christian people can't is by trying to steer you away FROM God, and that doesn't happen. If it does, dump them because they are horrible human beings.


Point is, Anyone can try to make you make bad decisions, cheat on you, rob you (literally or figuratively). God doesn't factor into this equation.

I've dated Christians. Trust me, the religion doesn't change the odds. I love my Non Christian Girlfriends, and she has a much stronger moral back bone than most People, Christian or otherwise, I that I know.  

[Call Me Apple]

viper_353

Umm...I believe it says in the bible somewhere that we shouldn't be dating people who are not Christians. Mostly because really: They don't have the reason for life in common with you. What matters most is not somethng that the two people can share. And personally, I want to be able to kneel before the cross and pray over the guy I love. I think that the best thing to do is try and bring them to Christ before you date them. That way, their life is changed, and also you have this special relationship with them. Like anyone, all we can do is hope there. We have no way of knowing what goes on with them and God before they die. And it's the same with friends. You just don't know and can pray that you'll see them there one day. sad

I see some people were ticked off at this, lol. But I think its pretty nice but to the point of your opinion.

As for dating 'Non-Believers' I'm married to one...and it's kind of hard sweatdrop

I cant help but think about kids, how will we raise them religiously?
And the after-life, what will I do if he doesnt go to heaven too? sweatdrop

Each night I pray God will come to him and influence his life enough to believe, I dont know what to do.  

[viper_353]

Call Me Apple

viper_353

Umm...I believe it says in the bible somewhere that we shouldn't be dating people who are not Christians. Mostly because really: They don't have the reason for life in common with you. What matters most is not somethng that the two people can share. And personally, I want to be able to kneel before the cross and pray over the guy I love. I think that the best thing to do is try and bring them to Christ before you date them. That way, their life is changed, and also you have this special relationship with them. Like anyone, all we can do is hope there. We have no way of knowing what goes on with them and God before they die. And it's the same with friends. You just don't know and can pray that you'll see them there one day. sad

I see some people were ticked off at this, lol. But I think its pretty nice but to the point of your opinion.

As for dating 'Non-Believers' I'm married to one...and it's kind of hard sweatdrop

I cant help but think about kids, how will we raise them religiously?
And the after-life, what will I do if he doesnt go to heaven too? sweatdrop

Each night I pray God will come to him and influence his life enough to believe, I dont know what to do.

Thanks! It's nice to have some one you know...kinda agreeing with me! smile
Hey, you know what...I'll pray for your husband too. It's never bad to do, and you know what...it can change soo much in such a little time. Thanx, and I really hope something happens in here. You are in my prayers!! smile