mowr peotry from me

[iiEatCandii]

A new chapter in my book
a flip of the worn down pages
another sweet kiss from my lips took
want to give them to you for ages
a solid grip on my small waist
a firm hand on my back
after a little while of being chased
my charade began to crack
i can be myself with you
don't feel the need to have to pretend
after a few hints and a clue
my single life drew to an end
can't say im sorry to see it leave
not when your who hid it away
just can't wait to have us be
the couple whose love will never sway.  

[SaraDiva728]

A few grammatical errors here. In line two you meant "worn" instead of "warn," something is askew in the third from the last line and in the last line "whos" needs an "e". You typically don't use commas and such in your work, so I didn't count that. I noticed too that your flow is getting better and better. Overall, this is great work. I love your poetry, and I think that you are very talented, so please keep it coming!  

[iiEatCandii]

SaraDiva728

A few grammatical errors here. In line two you meant "worn" instead of "warn," something is askew in the third from the last line and in the last line "whos" needs an "e". You typically don't use commas and such in your work, so I didn't count that. I noticed too that your flow is getting better and better. Overall, this is great work. I love your poetry, and I think that you are very talented, so please keep it coming!

i know about the spelling and grammar errors i just forgot to fix them before posting it sweatdrop but i don't know, try reading that line again cause i read it out loud and it sounded fine, but maybe its just me. and thank you so much for thinking that, it means a lot to me.