v ι v ε r ε . sεnzα . ჩιmpιαnti ;;
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this is going to be long mind you ,
so be prepared .
so theres brody . i met him my freshman year (i'm a sophomore) and we had a "thing". i'm not sure what you could call it , we didn't go out , but we talked about it and we both would go out with each other , but i'm not the commitment type . not that i'm a slut and wanted to be with other guys , i just don't like to feel like i have to spend all my time with him .
this was a pretty sexually relationship anyways (embarrassed redface )
but it started to turn into a love/hate thing . sometimes we would get along great almost to the point where we acted like bf/gf . other times , he would say things to me that were so horrible , they honestly made me feel like s**t .
things like "it must suck that your bestfriends hot and she gets all the attention." and so on .
and we would have a huge fight , not talk for a week , and go back to our normal selves . but mind you , it was a sexual relationship (still embarrassed) and that the main reason we started talking again redface
but anyways , we had one final fight , and didnt talk for a long while .
in the midst of all this , there is jon , who i also met my freshman year . there was a point where they wanted me to choose between brody and jon , but i wouldnt . things happened with jon (who wanted it to be a sexual relationship) and it escalated to the point where rumors were going around at school . we stopped talking for a long time also .
now , a few months ago , i met hayden . hes a year younger than me , so its a little weird , but i've honestly fallen for him . its not like my relationships with brody or jon , i like him a lot . but i also have the problem with commitment . again , its not because i want to be with other guys , its just after my last bf with josh (who is not important) i dont want to go out with someone . i get annoyed easily and bored , i dont want to hurt hayden by instantly breaking up with him , and then wanting to go out with him again . its weird , i dont know how to explain it , so if your confused its okay . but now after half a year , brody comes back into the picture .
by then , i had lost all feelings for brody . there was a huge fight with his current gf getting close to hayden , and both me and hayden wanted it to stop . again horrible things were said , and both couples agreed that we would stop talking to each other , and that it was over . a few days ago , brody decides to actually say something to me in the hallways (this fight was all over text/facebook) and it really pissed me off because we agreed it was over . i didn't say anything back to brody in the hallways except "you dont talk to me , and i'm not talking to you" . then of course , stupid me texted him telling him not to talk to me . he was actually being nice about it (he falsely accused me of something) and i didnt want to stop talking to him . i didn't know what that was about , so i just pushed it to the back of my head , and enjoyed my not-yet-bf/gf-relationship with hayden . (i'll get back to hayden a little bit later)
now just a few hours ago , i saw a youtube video of brody singing . as i was listening to it , all my feelings came back for him , despite the horrible things he said and did to me . and i feel bad for feeling like this , because i know how much hayden likes me . but brody has a gf , and would probably still never talk to me again even if they broke up . i know i should forget about brody , but we all know how hard it is to just forget a boy .
even if i were to forget about him and focus on hayden , theres problems with that too . hayden is very ... giving . thats my nice way of saying whipped . he would do whatever i tell him to . i dont want him to , because i'm an extremely giving person myself . i don't like how easily he would drop everything for me . he puts me in the center of his world , and i dont belong there . he always talks about being with me forever , and i know its just a highschool relationship . i know NONE of my highschool relationships are going to last forever , and i'm okay with that . so it kind of bothers me when he follows me around like a little puppy and wants to carry my bag ( O_o ) ... i've tried to tell him he doesn't need to do this , and that it is a tad bit annoying , but i dont want him to change just for me ! i know he would in a heartbeat , but i dont want him to ! but i still like him a lot : / i just dont know about him D;
and to make everything worse , jon has decided to text me again . and i'm pretty sure he likes me again .
everything is just a mess , and i honestly dont have anyone who i could tell the whole story to . and i'm not good at telling storys , so i'm sure i jumped around a lot . sorry if its long and confusing , i just needed to get it out D;
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chuchips blessing: 1oo||58o ):
ℓιvε . . { ωιthσut } . . ჩ ε g r ε t s
╭━━━━ ✿ ✿ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
this is going to be long mind you ,
so be prepared .
so theres brody . i met him my freshman year (i'm a sophomore) and we had a "thing". i'm not sure what you could call it , we didn't go out , but we talked about it and we both would go out with each other , but i'm not the commitment type . not that i'm a slut and wanted to be with other guys , i just don't like to feel like i have to spend all my time with him .
this was a pretty sexually relationship anyways (embarrassed redface )
but it started to turn into a love/hate thing . sometimes we would get along great almost to the point where we acted like bf/gf . other times , he would say things to me that were so horrible , they honestly made me feel like s**t .
things like "it must suck that your bestfriends hot and she gets all the attention." and so on .
and we would have a huge fight , not talk for a week , and go back to our normal selves . but mind you , it was a sexual relationship (still embarrassed) and that the main reason we started talking again redface
but anyways , we had one final fight , and didnt talk for a long while .
in the midst of all this , there is jon , who i also met my freshman year . there was a point where they wanted me to choose between brody and jon , but i wouldnt . things happened with jon (who wanted it to be a sexual relationship) and it escalated to the point where rumors were going around at school . we stopped talking for a long time also .
now , a few months ago , i met hayden . hes a year younger than me , so its a little weird , but i've honestly fallen for him . its not like my relationships with brody or jon , i like him a lot . but i also have the problem with commitment . again , its not because i want to be with other guys , its just after my last bf with josh (who is not important) i dont want to go out with someone . i get annoyed easily and bored , i dont want to hurt hayden by instantly breaking up with him , and then wanting to go out with him again . its weird , i dont know how to explain it , so if your confused its okay . but now after half a year , brody comes back into the picture .
by then , i had lost all feelings for brody . there was a huge fight with his current gf getting close to hayden , and both me and hayden wanted it to stop . again horrible things were said , and both couples agreed that we would stop talking to each other , and that it was over . a few days ago , brody decides to actually say something to me in the hallways (this fight was all over text/facebook) and it really pissed me off because we agreed it was over . i didn't say anything back to brody in the hallways except "you dont talk to me , and i'm not talking to you" . then of course , stupid me texted him telling him not to talk to me . he was actually being nice about it (he falsely accused me of something) and i didnt want to stop talking to him . i didn't know what that was about , so i just pushed it to the back of my head , and enjoyed my not-yet-bf/gf-relationship with hayden . (i'll get back to hayden a little bit later)
now just a few hours ago , i saw a youtube video of brody singing . as i was listening to it , all my feelings came back for him , despite the horrible things he said and did to me . and i feel bad for feeling like this , because i know how much hayden likes me . but brody has a gf , and would probably still never talk to me again even if they broke up . i know i should forget about brody , but we all know how hard it is to just forget a boy .
even if i were to forget about him and focus on hayden , theres problems with that too . hayden is very ... giving . thats my nice way of saying whipped . he would do whatever i tell him to . i dont want him to , because i'm an extremely giving person myself . i don't like how easily he would drop everything for me . he puts me in the center of his world , and i dont belong there . he always talks about being with me forever , and i know its just a highschool relationship . i know NONE of my highschool relationships are going to last forever , and i'm okay with that . so it kind of bothers me when he follows me around like a little puppy and wants to carry my bag ( O_o ) ... i've tried to tell him he doesn't need to do this , and that it is a tad bit annoying , but i dont want him to change just for me ! i know he would in a heartbeat , but i dont want him to ! but i still like him a lot : / i just dont know about him D;
and to make everything worse , jon has decided to text me again . and i'm pretty sure he likes me again .
everything is just a mess , and i honestly dont have anyone who i could tell the whole story to . and i'm not good at telling storys , so i'm sure i jumped around a lot . sorry if its long and confusing , i just needed to get it out D;
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ✿ ✿ ✿ ━━━╯
chuchips blessing: 1oo||58o ):
ℓιvε . . { ωιthσut } . . ჩ ε g r ε t s
