Chapter I
Well, today's the big day.
Sean Palmer Emerson was in lighter spirits than usual. Which wasn't hard to imagine, because his “usual” mood was a heavy depression brought about by a combination of misfortunes that he had been recently been cursed with. Everything would be alright today though. Today, he would be able to forget about everything, forever.
He opened the blinds next to his bed, revealing the city outside of his apartment. The sky above was clear, not a cloud was in sight, though the buildings blocked much of the view. No matter though, it's a perfect day as any to die. He thought to himself, smirking. In truth, Sean felt relieved. His months of feeling heavy, down, and most of all like a worthless piece of s**t were finally over. All it would take is some beer and antifreeze.
Being a fan of irony and the dramatic, Sean began to dress in his finest suit immediately after leaving his bed. It had seen him through an untold amount of failed job interviews. It felt fitting that he should not only look his nicest, but also let the suit see him through his last failure in life. With his excitement building, Sean made his way over to his computer in the apartment's small living room, and began looping the song “Mr. Blue Sky”, he hated the song, but he wanted something upbeat to be playing when he was found. He looked over himself one more time before heading into the kitchen.
He lived alone now, so he found no reason to hide the bottle of antifreeze sitting on the counter. Not know why exactly he was in such a hurry, Sean quickly got the beer out of his fridge, and a pitcher from a cabinet. He wouldn't need a lot of beer, he was a lightweight drinker. He hoped that what he read online was true, that the antifreeze would still kill him even with the alcohol added in. As long as he didn't visit the hospital that is. He would be drunk then dead, on a sunny day listening to upbeat music. There didn't seem to be a better way to go.
He began mixing the two, not particularly caring about proportions. As the pitcher began to fill though, his feeling of relief began to quickly fade. By the time that he was looking for a spoon to stir the mixture Sean was sweating. His pace quickened, and when he finally began to mix the liquids his hand was moving so quickly that the mixture began spilling out. By now he just wanted to get it over with. The music from the living room was growing in volume along with his heartbeat. Though he knew his movements were speeding up, time for Sean seemed to be slowing down. When Sean picked up the mixture to drink it his hands were shaking so badly he dropping it, spilling the contents all over the floor.
To Sean it felt as if he were suffocating. He had never been claustrophobic before, but it felt as if the walls were closing in, constricting him. I need to leave. I need to get out of here! He meant to shout the words, but his throat was constricted. By the time he grabbed his coat Sean's heartbeat had grown far louder than the music. He almost broke down before reaching the door, but as soon as he was outside everything stopped.
The sense of relief from earlier was still gone, but other than that he felt nothing. Nothing, except for the urge to move. Without knowing where he was going, Sean began to walk. The sky was still cloudless, and people ignored him as almost all did in the city. They'd probably ignore him even if they knew he had almost just killed himself. It's how things were, people were caught up in their own lives.
His thoughts drifted after a minute or two. He began to reminisce about his old fiance. Looking back, it wasn't that surprising that she cheated on him. She was the type of woman who knew what she wanted, and the fact that she had the looks to do so didn't hurt. His friends always joked that he was a bit too lucky to have had the knockout model-esque woman as his girlfriend. He hated the fact that they were right. He hated a lot of things lately.
On top of that, he had lost his job, his parents, and remained unemployed and broke. He never went to a doctor to talk about his depression, he never wanted to. He was above taking medication. Ironically he wasn't above drinking antifreeze and killing himself. Of course, it took months of self hate to reach the stage he was at. Most people don't decide to kill themselves out of the blue.
Sean was jerked back into reality by his feet stopping of their own accord. He was in front of what looked like an old school. The neighborhood which surrounded him looked equally old and run down. The word ghetto flashed in his mind for a second, but he quickly shook the thought off. He only glanced around for a second before his eyes were drawn to someone standing a few dozen yards in front of him.
She was a teenager, who looked like what Sean would describe as Goth. She had the long raven-like hair, which she probably dyed. She had a slightly more than necessary amount of eye shadow around her eyes, along with a completely black long vest, accompanied by a skirt. The only thing she wasn't wearing that was black were her socks, which had stripes of purple. Her skin however, had a surprising amount of color, much moreso than the typical pale-complexion of the stereotypical Goth.
His legs began moving again, forward, until he was right in front of the girl. Up close he could definitely tell she was just a teenager, and smiling. Though her hazel eyes had a slightly glossy look to them. Much like his own, filled with sorrow. After a second of silence passed, which Sean imagined he looked quite confused for, she began to speak.
“I can tell you're going through a hard time, because I am too and if we have nothing else in common there is always that.”
The words almost sounded rehearsed. She spoke softly, but with a firmness that reminded Sean of an old friend. She loved to argue, all the time. No matter the issue, and no matter if she even believed the point she was making. He believed it gave a person a certain confidence. The kind that when they spoke, you paid attention to every word. It wasn't the words she just spoke however that made him think, or even care at all. It was the words that came immediately after.
“Which means you'll never be alone.”