Kinda long poem... feedback appreciated

[Jasta]

Wrote this ages ago.. it's kinda long and kinda disturbing, but always looking for constructive criticism so yah, here it is smile

I want to laugh
And cry
All at once
And if I close
My eyes
I'm sure I can hear you
Talking
To me
Shouting
At me
Why me?
What have I done now?
I try to
Remember
But my mind has been burnt
With the image of the flames
Burning
Cleansing
My laughing
Shouting
At me
Why me?
What did I do?
My mind has been flooded
With the image of the blood
Gushing
Cleansing
I'm laughing
Who would have thought
I'd bleed that much??
Why are you shouting
Turn that din down
Don't you know I'm trying
To hear the voices that are singing
In my head
Singing
And laughing
What do you mean
You can't hear them?
But it's so LOUD
It's frightening
In my ears
In my HEAD
They're inside me
Get out get out get out!!
Crying now
Only crying
But they're laughing
At me

I'm sorry
I'm sorry I was made
This way
Faulty
Wrong
Broken inside
I can be good
I can be better

You don't care
I can feel you
Not caring
HEAR you not caring
SEE you
NOt caring!!
You never notice
A thing that I do
If I slash at my face
My hands
Would you see then
The rips and tears
In my soul
In my MIND?
Don't turn away
Don't turn your back on me
b***h!
I'm screaming
Screaming
And crying
And then laughing
Always laughing
b***h
Who am I talking to?
You're not real
You're not there
I can see you
But you're not there
If I wave my hands
They'll go straight through
Who am I talking to?
Don't be daft
I'm not hitting you
You're not there
Not really
Neither am I
I don't think I exist
Anymore
I think
You made me go away
Made me invisible
To everyone
But me
Laughing
And now there's blood
On my hands
Again
But it doesn't smell
Like mine does
It's not yours
You're not real
Are you still there?
You know
Real or not
It's very impolite
To lie
Face down
And bleed
And not answer
When I talk to you
Have you decided to love me yet?
Your silence is ok
I'll assume it's a
Yes
I'll pick you up
Set you here, on this chair
And curl in your lap
Do you remember?
I used to do this
When I was small
You'd stroke my hair
But you weren't so cold then
So .. wet.
Are you crying, Mummy?
Crying red tears
Like me?
Let's just curl up then
And cry together
Please

I'm sorry
I'm sorry I was made
This way
Faulty
Wrong
Broken inside
I can be good
I can be better
If you'd just love me
Please?  

[spiritfree]

gurl, alesome poem. keep writing.  

[_Built_to_Offend_666]

very good 3nodding i liked it alot  

[Xtrez]

It may of been long. But; it sure was enjoyable. I liked it.