Break up trouble, Help Please!

[balletfreak2008]

Hi everybody, My name is Jenni (I am 19) and my Boyfriend err well ex-boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. I don't know what to do, I am trying to stay busy and what not, but everywhere I look I see things that remind me of him. I have had numerous relationships, but this one was so much different. I loved him and matter fact still love him even though he ripped my heart out.

I guess I just need to rant and help getting over it. I am trying to let go as fast as possible, since it is Christmas tomorrow. I have told all of my family, but some people don't know. What should I do if my grandparents bring it up tomorrow, hearing his name makes me break out in tears and when people ask about it I instantly start crying...not just tears either its the breathing hard can't catch your breath kind of crying. I have talked to numerous friends and my mom, but I don't want to feel like a burden to them. They just want me to be happy, afterall Christmas is my favorite holiday. Well I guess I should give some background info

Well, lets see we starting dating in April of 2009 and jumped right into the whole long distance thing. He lived in Arizonia then and now lives in Wisconsin. I live in Michigan. I saw him in may and then the end of june and one more time in August. It was hard because he doesn't have a car or job and I had a job and no car as well. I was going to go see him on Sunday and I thought everything was fine. Some stuff was going on at his house and so he was really stressed and couldn't talk to me (so I thought). I just thought since he was stressed and things were hectic because he was accused of doing something he didn't. Then last night he called me and we talked for a little bit and he started with why can't we talk anymore? All through the summer we talked non-stop everyday about everything and anything. And then I told him I missed him and he said the same thing and that he couldn't wait to see me. After that I went to bed and he called 3 hours later to break up with me. Then he told me I shouldn't come see him and he also told me we couldn't be together.
I found out he kissed another girl and today he told me on here (gaia) that in his head we were over a while ago and that he would have done more with her if we hadn't been together. He also wasn't himself, unemotional, showed no emotion at all. That is nothing like him, he has always been in touch with his feelings and he always tells me like it is. It was not him I talked to, it was so weird....he as numb. I just don't know.

I loved him and we had talked about getting engaged and what not becuase we were perfect for eachother. He was the kind of guy I saw myself with and i pretty much had my mind set on that (being with hime for the rest of my life). Since I go to college he said he was willing to do the long distance. He was my best friend and the problem is the person I want to talk to most about this is him, but I can't

Sorry this is so long...I just need to talk I guess. Get it in writing and off my chest. Please give advice if you can or just talk if you would like. I know you guys don't know me, but I am just a girl in need of some comfort and compassion. Thank you  

[broken_bleeding_angel]

*sighs and Hugs*

I had this happen to me numerous times my dear. All in which I found the b*****d had been cheating, the other chick found out and made him leave me for her.

There is no way they "just kissed". Guy's do not "just kiss" a girl when they're in a long distance relationship. If a girl offers they go "******** yeah!" and jump in on her band wagon. Sucks but it's true.

Sounds like he was a bum. He didn't deserve you any ways. Keep telling yourself that he wasn't worth it any ways.  

[im a sexy fox]

had the same weird thing happen to me
the best thing to do is just tell him how bad he hurt you and if he tells you i don't care remind him for all the things you given up for him. He may act different in all but he still the same guy you loved from the start. If you can't get him out your head just replace him with someone 1000 times better then him. But best bet he broke up with you was because the girl may of did something to him that you didn't yet. which isn't really good i guess. But to really get over him you might need to clear your mind and throw out all the thing that make you think of him. call him one last time for a friendly hi and a Really good reason why he did what he did and then after he tells you yell at him for a while making him listen to you good and clear. and if you cry think of something that makes you happy (not him D: cuz that will make you cry even more) but trust me boys have small brains as my mother said to me so they really can't feel any real feelings a girl does...So get over that not good slick tell boy (mother also said that)  

[balletfreak2008]

Angel- *hugs* Thanks, it is just hard to believe that he cheated on me. I thought he was different than previous boyfriends.I will try to keep telling myself that, its juat hard to no blame myself. I feel like I should have known, but there wasn't really a way to know.

Fox- I was thinking about calling him, but I know it won't help. I am still not mad enough....lol. That is the hard part, I can't be mean even if someone hurts me...there is not a mean bone in my body. I did tell what I needed online and that felt pretty good. I will definetely try getting rid of everything that reminds me of him, no matter how much it hurts....its painful having to get rid of things, but I think I can do it. smile
Thanks for the advice.  

[broken_bleeding_angel]

There isn't and in no way possible is it your fault dear. If he ever says it it you can shove him into my industrial meat grinder with all my cheating ex's.  

[balletfreak2008]

I know, aww thanks!! hehehehe I think that would feel good.lol I have been trying to come up with someway to get rid of this pent up anger that might just work!  

[broken_bleeding_angel]

Beat up a pillow. Kick boxing. Go for a jog. Swing on some swings. Anything that gets you up and moving.  

[balletfreak2008]

Thank you so much for all the help hun! smile I have gone for numerous walks with my friends and my mom got a wii for Christmas. so I tried boxing and it worked great, it felt to good!!!  

[broken_bleeding_angel]

You're welcome. And that's good. Usually after I do all that i grab a nice hot bubble bath and hit the hay. XD