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I have a series of connected one shots, and I really need some feed back on some of them. ^.^;; They're part of a 100 prompts project I'm doing, and the collection's titled "Moments in Time." C&C, please?
This one's called "Hero." I'm thinking of rewriting it, but I need help picking out the points I want to keep and what I want to scrap. Thanks!
***
"Somewhere, there's a seamstess rolling in dough and blackmail material," Jyn muttered, reaching blindly from her place on the couch to the popcorn bowl in Tabetha's lap.
"What?" Tabetha asked bemusedly, wrenching her gaze from the screen to peer above and behind her to the couch. "What do super heroes have to do with seamstresses?"
"Think about it," Jyn said, munching on her handful. "Not only can they fly, lift heavy objects, see through walls, and appear cutely geeky," she gestured at the screen to the object of the conversation, "But they can also sew their own outfits? I think not! I mean, seriously, if that was one of us, what would we be wearing? Realistically."
"Boxers. None of that panties over the tights junk," Lex broke in, nose wrinkling at the thought. Jyn grinned at the cute sight, while Lex ruffled her hair for the trouble.
"Mismatching socks if it was me. Who has time to coordinate if you're tripping over yourself to save somebody?" Tabetha added.
"And no phone booth changes!" Jyn yelled at the screen, throwing popcorn at it. "Exhibitionist!" She and Tabetha giggled at a strategically placed grease smear on the screen.
Lex rolled her eyes at the two of them. "You two are so juvenile." Silence reigned for all of ten seconds before she made another observation. "No capes, either. You two would either get caught up in it, or fan it out and run around making 'whoosh!' noises."
"If that's the way you feel about it, maybe I should move in with Tabby," Jyn mock pouted, causing the aforementioned girl to choke.
"Hell no! Between that damn cat, me, and the birds, there's absolutely no more room! You can have the hallway!" Tabetha laughed around her mouthful of throw pillow, popcorn flying everywhere as she shielded her head from the attack.
"Can you imagine fighting crime, too? Most people are exhausted after 40 work hours a week, let alone school. Most of them don't even drink coffee!" Jyn complained, diverting attention yet again. "I want kung fu skills!"
"You would have to apply yourself to something for more than five minutes to accomplish that," came the calm response from Lex.
"Hey!"
Lex looked at her, eyebrow cocked in mocking question. "'I swear, you won't have to feed it at all! I can take care of a damn goldfish, thank you very much!' Does that sound familiar at all?"
There was stunned silence, before "Shut up. That was over a month ago."
Tabetha patted Jyn's face none too gently. "Look on the bright side- if you start practicing now, you might be able to do a somersault by next Christmas."
"...I hate you both."
*******
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