Sexually active-ness problem!

[The_Brightest_Moon]

Ok so like most other teenagers, I'm "curious" when it comes to stuff like sex. I get urges and thoughts, and I want to do it eventually, while I'm still a teen. So the urges are definitely there. But the thing is, when I'm with a guy, even if I'm turned on, I get really shy and suddenly I'm not ready for those things. I'm sure this is normal, but its weird!!! With my last boyfriend, he always wanted to do things, and I'd be excited (in that way) but then I'd back out because suddenly I wasn't ready. Why is this? I mean, obviously its because I'm "just not ready" to do those things, but then why are the urges still there?  

[Shawnael]

You're a teen. Your body is changing, shedding adolescence and coming into womanhood. You're a factory of hormones. You get urges you can't control. What you DO have control over is how you react to these urges. I'm glad that you have not done things you are not ready for, and that you recognize that you aren't ready for sex.

My advice? Don't have sex because you feel like you have to. You don't need to have sex while you're still a teen. You don't need to do it because all your friends are doing it. You should be focusing on your relationships, on school, and on just being a kid right now. Trust me, growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's got its fun parts, but it's a lot of work. Enjoy being a kid for a while. Learn what having a meaningful relationship is like. And if you really must grow up right now, talk to your mother or an adult you trust. There are a lot of risks that come with sex, and I'm not just talking about STDs or pregnancy.  

[LyricalSoul93]

It's perfectly normal.
You get those 'urges' because you are a normal teenager and your body is full of hormones acting crazy. You can feel 'turned on' sometimes even if you don't want to, it's just a strong biological signal.
Feeling the way you feel when you are with a guy just means your body is ready but emotionally you are not quite. It's an uneasy situation to be in, (especially if the guy starts complaining about mixed messages!) but I think it's really good that you are sticking to what you feel comfortable with. When you feel ready to do that stuff there's a good chance you will still be nervous, but it's a happy, excited kind of nervous and not a scared or unsure kind. Just make sure your guy knows (and you know!) what your boundaries are to stop it from going to far.

Hope that helped!  

[The_Brightest_Moon]

Thanks. As long as I'm normal xD I dont feel PRESSURED to have sex, it's just something I wanna do eventually. Of course, with someone I love, and I'll be safe. I'm not in a relationship now but in my last one, I always felt wimpy because my boyfriend ALWAYS wanted to do stuff (he was way too pushy though) and I never wanted to. So now I just got thinking after reading another thread, like "yeah I wanna have sex but... I'm not ready!!"  

[Kaiyle Brightblade]

You're always going to be nervous your first time because its such a new experience. Its important to be comfortable around your boyfriend and know that he will not judge you if you change your mind.  

[shall she sail seas]

Everyone else has pretty much confirmed that you're normal and your feelings and experiences are normal. I agree and have nothing more to add to that particular issue.

It's obvious that you will need to examine your own feelings and experiment with your body while alone. Besides that, the greater concern for you is finding the right person to experiment sexually. My advice is to make sure that your boyfriend/girlfriend (dunno if you're bi) is emotionally mature and responsible. While it's fine to joke around about sex, I don't think you'll want any of it during this phase. An out-of-place birthmark or clumsiness is not to be laughed about at this point. Be open. Be honest. Expect openess and honesty. Consideration for your and their emotional and physical feelings are a must.

Practice safe sex, and this means emotional safety too.  

[OhMegaaa]

The urges are still there because you are a horny teenager, to be blunt. I am the same way. That is the reason my last boyfriend and I broke up. We would talk about doing 'stuff' and then when the time came to do it I wouldn't because I would get super shy and scared. So, just wait until you are def. in love and know that the guy/girl you are doing it with won't leave you after it.  

[Sensation Ari]

It's normal to get those urges, I'm pretty sure every teenager gets them. Just don't act on them until you're emotionally ready for it.

 

[delete_my_existence]

Completely normal! (:
I was the same way back then (meaning 13-16 year old) x3
I was VERY curious ever since child hood and about at the age of 14 I discovered a lot about myself and I really had urges and fantasies and I was just reaally really horny, but when I had a boyfriend and he wanted to have sex with me, I wasn't ready.
in fact I wasn't ready until I was 17 and met my right guy :3