Relationship Advice

[Kaiyle Brightblade]

I have been dating a wonderful boy for a year and a half. This is the first serious relationship for both of us, and we both feel that we love each other enough to make a lifelong commitment.

We're going to be geographically separated for a space of about 2 years. By then we will have been dating for three years. We proposed the idea of spending some of that time "separated" so that we would have a chance to date other people, then resume our relationship once we can live near each other again. Neither of us has even kissed another person, and I feel like maybe we should take some time to experiment while we will be far apart anyway. I'd much rather both of us get it out of our systems now and not feel the need to wander later in life.

What do you think? Is this a good idea?  

[Shawnael]

Not a good idea. Don't try to separate then come back, it will end in tears. Either stay together and see how LDR works out for you, or break up with no intention of getting back together. There may be a time down the road that you two want to be together again, but you can't force it.

If either of you feel that you may want to "wander later in life," then this probably isn't going to be a life-long partnership.  

[The Sweet Sadist]

I agree, it is not a god idea. If you'll be separated for two years and planning to get back together it is most likely one of you will forget. Something might happen between those two years, and it is obvious there is going to be pain in the future. Don't do it.  

[LyricalSoul93]

It sounds like a good idea in theory but in practice I think you'd be setting yourself up for heartbreak. I think Shawnael is right, if you wanna stay together you need to try it long distance.
The thing is, 2 years is a long time. It's longer than the two of you have been together. That's a lot of time for people to grow and change and having different relationships will change the way you look at relationships. This isn't something you can just put on hold.
As for your worries about later life, it's not impossible for a person to only have one significant relationship in their life and still be happy, espescially if they start dating a little older. If you love each other and are communicating well then there is no reason why someone should feel they have to look somewhere else.
It's a tough situation though, and I wish you both the best of luck with whatever you decide to do.  

[Kaiyle Brightblade]

Thanks girls. It was good to get a second opinion.  

[shall she sail seas]

Yes and no. It depends on the arrangements in your relationship. What everyone else has answered applies if you're going for a lasting monogamous relationship.... and I guess it's safe to assume you are?

Going along with train of thought, I'd advise you two to discuss some of the more practical issues that will come up. How often will you be able to visit each other? How much will travelling cost? Download Skype and get yourselves a couple webcams so you'll at least be able to see each others' faces when you're apart. Keeping communication consistent and regular is vital in a long distance relationship.

If you want details about other relationship arrangements, I'd prefer you PM me since past experience in this guild has told me that they're a taboo subject here.  

[Kaiyle Brightblade]

Maybe one of us would find someone else. I realize that is a possibility. But if that happens our relationship wasn't meant to be. I want us to be able to test it out with other people and realize that yes, we do have a strong relationship. In short I want us to succeed because we belong together and not because we never had a chance to know things could be better.