Sword of the Mountain (chapter 1)

[iDeViLPsYcHo]

Chapter 1: Arrival

xxxA man walked calmly towards the arena entrance. Brown bag was slung over his shoulder and a straight long sword strapped across his back covered in a black leather sheath. His short black hair, which spiked up slightly in the back and came to four sharp bangs in the front, seemed to sway in the breeze slightly while his light blue eyes stayed focused on the immense arena in front of him. His figure was strong, but not covered in bulging muscles. It was more like the body of an experienced dancer or one who trained himself with movement rather than lifting weights and performing tedious tasks. His face was kept well-shaved and his skin was almost completely clear. He stood at a bit taller than five and a half feet. Small scars along his arms showed that he’d seen his share of fights but didn’t get into a lot of dangerous situations he didn’t need to be in.

xxx"So this is the place where it all happens huh?" He said to himself as he walked up to a man sitting behind a simple wooden desk covered with papers which contained records of the combatants that had previously walked in. The man looked in his thirties with a bald head, a brown goatee, and a scar along his left cheek.
xxx"Name, age, and city of residence please?" The man asked looking up to Dera with a blank look. The tone of his voice made it apparent that he had to ask that question multiple times throughout the day and was somewhat bored by it even if he was working at the most prestige arena in the world.
xxx"Name's Dera Morray," the warrior said, "Twenty-four and I come from the city of Relshar."
xxx"Alright then, your room number will be…32. Remember that number." The man said writing it down on a piece of paper. "Although you’d best hurry. We're about to close up and begin the tournament starting ceremony." His eyes were glued to the paper which he wrote on not bothering to look up at Dera anymore.
xxxDera looked worried for a moment but then a smile spread across his face. "Well I guess I'd better hurry then." Dera said.


xxxDera ran into the entrance hall of the arena and reached the main area of it. He had to admit it had unique architecture. Different levels of the circular arena were held up with stone pillars with every level leading out to a spectating area with seat arrangements that sunk in to the center of the arena, but still left enough space between the seats and the battlefield so that no innocent onlookers would have their heads lopped off by a berserking blade. He saw a group of armored fighters in the middle of the battleground. They were either speaking with each other, or staring up at the balcony above.
xxx“Oh so that’s where I’m supposed to be.” Dera said as he stood at the top row of the spectator seats. He would jump over the wall to get with the rest of the crowd but he decided to be proper and go through the gates like he saw another warrior go through. Dera turned around and began running through the halls of the arena searching for his way down. “Damnit, this place is cool, but it all looks the same!” He said as he ran around on the second level of the arena. It was basically just a big curved hallway with four staircases evenly spaced out to reach other levels and stands where supposedly food was served to spectators. The only unique thing about the second level was that at the northernmost point of the arena was the entrance to a bar. Dera decided that he would go check that out later.
xxxIt took awhile, but Dera finally found out how to get into the battleground where the competitors were supposed to meet. When he was sure that he’d gone completely through the hall once, he began checking the staircases. The first staircase he checked led down to a heavy wooden door with the words “Combatants only!” written on them in thin stone.
xxx“Well I suppose that includes me now doesn’t it?” Dera said as he walked through the door to where the well-sized crowd was. They were all conversing with each other waiting for the opening speech to begin. Everything went silent when an old man with a long white beard came out of a high balcony overseeing the large crowd. Dera heard someone whisper "It's him, the holy hero Jeremiah Gustav."
"No way..." Dera whispered to himself. Jeremiah was the most recent sealer of Kaminoste and said to be the mightiest of the four of history's holy heroes.
xxxJeremiah raised his arms. "Welcome warriors. Welcome to the arena of holy heroes and the tournament of the sacred sword. The place where we shall see which one of you will be the one to climb Mt. Saveheart and take the sword of the mountain to seal Kaminoste once again. I see all kinds of honorable warriors here today. The curious Humans, The elegant, yet dark vampires, the ferocious, but fair werewolves, and many others. I understand that in the past few years there has been a bit of discrimination between the races. Well know now that it shall not be tolerated here. All are to treat each other with respect for you are all honorable warriors who deserve it. The tournament's rules are as follows. Matches will be held every day; however different warriors will be fighting every third day after their first fight. Victory in a match shall be determined when your opponent is unable to continue whether it be surrendering, knockout, or an unfortunate death. Victor shall face victor until the two finalists face off against each other. The winner shall face the trial of climbing Mt. Saveheart to retrieve the sword of the mountain. We also ask that you respect the arena for it is now your home...and potentially, your tomb...so without further delay let the torches be lit!"


The crowd cheered as men with long torches came out from an opening on the rim of the arena above where Jeremiah was standing. The two torch carriers ran around opposite sides of the circular stone path and lit the torches until they simultaneously met each other on the side opposite to where they started. They touched the torches to the ground and stood in an attentive position. The fires were enchanted by some of the world's most clever magicians and burned even in rain or snow and were not extinguished until the winner was to climb the mountain and claim their prize.
"You were all assigned a room when you arrived here." Jeremiah began once more, "Should you need anything you have all been given a personal servant along with a map of the arena. The first matches shall start tomorrow. You will be told when yours comes. Now rest for now and settle. For tomorrow the battles begin!" He left the balcony and the crowd all went in different directions. Dera went along with it and up the staircase once more up to the third level of the arena which was apparently where the rooms were. He turned to a large sheet of paper which was hanging on a wall and contained tournament information such as eliminated, fight times, dates, and things like that. Dera looked for his schedule running his finger across the paper across the page until he found his name. "Okay so my fight is...tomorrow." He smiled and turned back to the direction of his room. "Can't wait. Finally I get to show the world what I can do. Soon the name Dera Morray will be spoken throughout all of Alkay."  

[iDeViLPsYcHo]

Whoever voted this needs serious redoing please tell me what was so wrong so I can fix it.  

[iDeViLPsYcHo]

A big thanks to Evermore Reality for revising this mrgreen  

[Lottielight]

I like what you have written so far!

All I have to say is that some sentences are a little long and could be re-arranged to make them easier to read. There aren't many of these however so I wouldn't worry too much about it, other than that it is pretty good. Keep on writing, I'd love to read the next installment!
 

[Crystalbow]

I'm not even going to try to read that giant clump of words. I've developed the habit of spacing my paragraphs well, separating dialogue and following sentences into separate paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes, especially on the internet. Each time someone different than the person before says something, start a new paragraph. This is essential on the internet, because otherwise, it's hard on the eyes to read it all. If you're changing basic topics, start a new paragraph. Of course, I space my paragraphs more than most authors, but at least separate dialogue.  

[iDeViLPsYcHo]

Wait people were actually reading this thing? Whoa, I gave up on this a long time ago. But since I already have 19 other chapters done...  

[Joonbong]

Yeah, space it up a bit. But it's actually pretty good and interesting. There are a few unnecessary details that might bore the readers that it would be helpful to take out. But other than that it was a pretty interesting story. Can you post up more?