What would you do?

[Cyto]

I am suppose to be on a family vacation..
I am who I am and I figured that he had gotten over my 'strange' taste in clothing. But just a couple hours a go i wanted to wear a mask. nothing crazy just a mask you where when your sick cloth and string. Its black with a red cross on it..
My mother refused to help me tie it so I said 'Fine I will do it myself.'
Then when I put my black and red gothic style pants on with my black long sleeve shirt on.. They didn't mind but this mask was way to much.. Throwing my hair into pigtails i tried to ingore it.. Just when we get somewhere my father says "take off the mask or I am not going in there with you.." I yelled "It shouldn't matter what I wear, I am your daughter your suppose to support me, and if I feel beautiful dressing like this, you should support it!! Not tell me how emberssed you are of me!!"

I hate to say it, but I took of the mask. Don't get my wrong I did yell and snap about it.. but its funny I want to hear what you would have done?  

[Cyto]

wow I thought alot of people would have some answers lol  

[Keevan Draco]

have patience, a lot of members are not online at this time....

first, if you are over 18, then it's ultimatley your choice in what you wear, and how you wear it.
second, living under your parents roof (so to speak) limits your "free rights" as it were, and as long as mommy and daddy are footing the bill for your fun, You "do as they say" and try not to complain about it so much. I'm not trying to harsh ur mellow, but that's the cold hard facts of life until you move out and establish your own cave in the wilderness. You belong to them until you either move out of the dungeon, or marry another person and start your own adventure....

I'm a parent myself, and someday I probably won't "get" my kids either, but I hope to have an open mind to the possibilities that my children may or may not possess...only time will tell.

a happy medium for you, in that instance, would have been (IMHO) to wear the mask around your neck. I know it wasn't the look you were going for, but at least you would have been able to flaunt it in some small fashion.
Argueing never solves anything, it just gets in the way of happy resolutions...you could have just shrugged off the comment and wore it anyway, and then asked your father calmly and politley why he had a huge problem with the mask when the rest of the outfit was ok...

life lessons are often learned after the fact, and never in foresight...next time, approach the battle with an open mind, and bury your feelings deep before you begin the conflict....no matter how mad they make you....  

[Xahmen]

Life is unfair.  

[Keevan Draco]

Glenn Hughes

Life is unfair.

welcome to the one great constant in the universe....

all we can really do, is learn to dance and play while rome burns around us, and try to stay afloat through all life's chaos...anything else is madness.  

[Angel of the End]

Oh, I know what mask you are talking about! Beautiful, I nearly ordered one myself. Honestly, if you ask me, a person's attire (as long as not sexual or having words that directly are attacking a certain group of people) should not matter. I can see him freaking out over the mask, sort of like how I have always had to apply my black lipstick after I've left the house, or keep some clothing hidden in my locker... I understood why you freaked out, and I also see why he did. But, being concerned or not necessarly liking a thing is one thing, but being embarassed and so angry at your daughter who is doing nothing wrong is a completely different subject. It's an accessory. Like I say to people, what is the difference between wearing chains on my neck compared to on my pants? It's still just a chain, a simple piece of metal. Your mask is just an accessory, a simple piece of fabric. Harassment by others it to be expected, even authorities at times (although stupid), but you dad, reguardless, even if concerned about this for your sake and not his own, could of said it differently.  

[Egyp Cat Goddess]

Hello Everyone! Haven't been on here for a long time. I believe that you did the right thing and said the right thing... Parents should know that they can't control use, so they should just let us try different things and be who we want to be  

[PetreyDish]

I'd go to here: http://gothic-charm-school.com/

She has lots of advice, especially about dealing with parents who are unhappy with your fashion choices.

She typically says something about how A) Snapping and yelling at your parents is BAD B) Explaining calmly is GOOD and C) One can't expect their parents to be okay with everything, especially when they know little about it. So EDUCATE them.  

[Milo-Bveyele]

PetreyDish

I'd go to here: http://gothic-charm-school.com/

She has lots of advice, especially about dealing with parents who are unhappy with your fashion choices.

She typically says something about how A) Snapping and yelling at your parents is BAD B) Explaining calmly is GOOD and C) One can't expect their parents to be okay with everything, especially when they know little about it. So EDUCATE them.

I agree getting angry like that and yelling at your father isn't going to make anything better if anything it's just going to reinforce any negative feelings he has about the things you do.
I'm more than old enough and in a situation where i can just get dressed and walk out of the house with or without my parents but if i'm going out with them i still check to make sure that my attire isn't a source of their discomfort. it's hard having a child that embraces a way of life and dressing that the world tells you is wrong. If you respect that your parents don't agree with how you dress and come to an agreement with them, they'll come to respect your right to make that decision on your own and ultimately respect your right to wear what you want.

So to answer your poll taking off the mask was right, yelling at your father was wrong. next time explain it to him calmly.  

[Cyto]

Keevan Draco

have patience, a lot of members are not online at this time....

first, if you are over 18, then it's ultimatley your choice in what you wear, and how you wear it.
second, living under your parents roof (so to speak) limits your "free rights" as it were, and as long as mommy and daddy are footing the bill for your fun, You "do as they say" and try not to complain about it so much. I'm not trying to harsh ur mellow, but that's the cold hard facts of life until you move out and establish your own cave in the wilderness. You belong to them until you either move out of the dungeon, or marry another person and start your own adventure....

I'm a parent myself, and someday I probably won't "get" my kids either, but I hope to have an open mind to the possibilities that my children may or may not possess...only time will tell.

a happy medium for you, in that instance, would have been (IMHO) to wear the mask around your neck. I know it wasn't the look you were going for, but at least you would have been able to flaunt it in some small fashion.
Argueing never solves anything, it just gets in the way of happy resolutions...you could have just shrugged off the comment and wore it anyway, and then asked your father calmly and politley why he had a huge problem with the mask when the rest of the outfit was ok...

life lessons are often learned after the fact, and never in foresight...next time, approach the battle with an open mind, and bury your feelings deep before you begin the conflict....no matter how mad they make you....

Thats all nice but as long as I help pay and such shouldn't they be okay with how I look? its not even that much as it is the fact they are okay with ingoring it until the other family members see it.. Its almost an act of shame.. you know? but yes I do understand what you mean about the roof thing not to mention its not worth fighting a losing battle... n.n  

[Cyto]

Angel of the End

Oh, I know what mask you are talking about! Beautiful, I nearly ordered one myself. Honestly, if you ask me, a person's attire (as long as not sexual or having words that directly are attacking a certain group of people) should not matter. I can see him freaking out over the mask, sort of like how I have always had to apply my black lipstick after I've left the house, or keep some clothing hidden in my locker... I understood why you freaked out, and I also see why he did. But, being concerned or not necessarly liking a thing is one thing, but being embarassed and so angry at your daughter who is doing nothing wrong is a completely different subject. It's an accessory. Like I say to people, what is the difference between wearing chains on my neck compared to on my pants? It's still just a chain, a simple piece of metal. Your mask is just an accessory, a simple piece of fabric. Harassment by others it to be expected, even authorities at times (although stupid), but you dad, reguardless, even if concerned about this for your sake and not his own, could of said it differently.

Funny see, in that moment that is how I felt, as if he was ashamed of me.. It made me so angry, it was like 'okay you don't say anything about my outfits when we are home but now that we are in another state talking to the family I have to dumb it down.' all the time everyone liked when I went crazy.. One of my aunts called me an 'Princess Kimi Ku." don't really understand it but she said it with a loving smile so n.n.. just wish he would have explained or could explain it to me with out saying the words "If you wear that I am staying in the car.. end of story.." it gives me nothing more then fact that you are ashamed.. and knowing him he probably meant it like that at the time...
Though I did buy myself a voodoo doll at the store.. funny thing never thought I would find them where I was, then I looked at my dad. we joked how his name was going to be on it and I was going to make him fat..  

[Cyto]

Milo-Bveyele

PetreyDish

I'd go to here: http://gothic-charm-school.com/

She has lots of advice, especially about dealing with parents who are unhappy with your fashion choices.

She typically says something about how A) Snapping and yelling at your parents is BAD B) Explaining calmly is GOOD and C) One can't expect their parents to be okay with everything, especially when they know little about it. So EDUCATE them.

I agree getting angry like that and yelling at your father isn't going to make anything better if anything it's just going to reinforce any negative feelings he has about the things you do.
I'm more than old enough and in a situation where i can just get dressed and walk out of the house with or without my parents but if i'm going out with them i still check to make sure that my attire isn't a source of their discomfort. it's hard having a child that embraces a way of life and dressing that the world tells you is wrong. If you respect that your parents don't agree with how you dress and come to an agreement with them, they'll come to respect your right to make that decision on your own and ultimately respect your right to wear what you want.

So to answer your poll taking off the mask was right, yelling at your father was wrong. next time explain it to him calmly.

1) my Father doesn't listen to calm talking too... ever...

And its not like I hate my father, its just I disagree with what he wants me to be viewed as. My mother supports what I wear, and my father ingores it most of the time. He makes his comments but i don't let it bother me.

I wear what I wear because of three reasons, and I have told everyone of this.

1) Its not because I want to rage against my parents its because it think its beautiful in my own eyes.

2) I don't wear style because I want to look like 'Halloween' everyday. as people say. "though I love Halloween." I wear it because it makes me feel beautiful

3) I would never do something continuously shame my parents, if that was the case I would never claim them when they go all country out.

Like I said we have are little fights, but mainly I did this to see what other people would have done in this sititution. I know that me and my father are cool as the other side of the pillow until the next fashion item i buy.  

[Cyto]

btw... n.n I am 20 so everyone knows the age.. LOL  

[Rellik San]

You're 20... that was kind of a bratty thing to do and say then, when I read it I thought you were about 13... 15 at the most.

I mean grow up already, certain things just aren't socially acceptable, you don't see me wearing my "Jesus is a c**t" shirt and finger gaurds at my grandfathers funeral. There are just certain societal norms that have to be conformed too, maybe YOU want to make a massive statement about who you are by the way you dress, but at least have some consideration for those around you. I actually agree with your father on this, you should have taken the mask off and then put it back on again when you left if you wanted to wear it that badly.

You need to learn you can't shout your way out of these situations and that compromise is the only way, you're 20, you're an adult, start acting like one.
______________

Addressing your sig. I'd roleplay with you but I have a horrible feeling I'd be disappointed by your generic, "damaged, all powerful, gothic beauty who just wants to be loved" archetype instead of some original and fascinating character with genuinely intriguing motives.  

[Cyto]

Rellik San

You're 20... that was kind of a bratty thing to do and say then, when I read it I thought you were about 13... 15 at the most.

I mean grow up already, certain things just aren't socially acceptable, you don't see me wearing my "Jesus is a c**t" shirt and finger gaurds at my grandfathers funeral. There are just certain societal norms that have to be conformed too, maybe YOU want to make a massive statement about who you are by the way you dress, but at least have some consideration for those around you. I actually agree with your father on this, you should have taken the mask off and then put it back on again when you left if you wanted to wear it that badly.

You need to learn you can't shout your way out of these situations and that compromise is the only way, you're 20, you're an adult, start acting like one.
______________

Addressing your sig. I'd roleplay with you but I have a horrible feeling I'd be disappointed by your generic, "damaged, all powerful, gothic beauty who just wants to be loved" archetype instead of some original and fascinating character with genuinely intriguing motives.

Really that was pretty rude if I do say so myself? I am very aware what is not excepted in today's norm. But like I said the mask was pretty harmless.. It wasn't out there, and it wasn't anything rude, like your shirt! I mean really who would think of wearing that shirt to a funeral anyway? That dear good sir, would truly be a cruel move.

________________________

By the way, I wouldn't roleplay with you either I only except people who have manners? Not to be completely attacking back, but everything you said was a stab. You do not know me, from your actions I would prefer not to know you either. Not in a roleplay and surely not in real life.