The sky was alive tonight, and i wondered if she was up there. I wondered if my best friend, Kathren, was up there after that fire, or if she hadn't made it. She promised she'd visit me if she died, so where could she be? A shooting star blazed across, and i wondered if that was her, telling me that shewas ok. We'd said that we would be friends after we move, after we fight, even after we die. But we never thought the dieing part would come so soon. I still had her dieing words in my head: "Mary, I will visit you as much as God allows. Please, don't ever forget me. Every night, take this and mark the days, please." I was now holding one of the twelve notebooks she had given me to mark the days. It had already been three months, but the shock of such an energetic, lively girl dead still hadn't left. How could I live, when she couldn't? How could I grow, when she couldn't? She was dead, and i was alive. It was evil, that i was alive. Because I'm the reason she's dead. I'm the one who lit the candle, then dropped it. The one who killed her. Yet she still asked me to stay her friend. Did she not see how evil that was? How selfish? If i wasn't her friend, I wouldn't have to miss her so much. Yet, something inside me knew i was lying to myself. I wouldn't be me if I hadn't met Kathren. Really, I was the selfish one. Yet, she still didn't leave me. Now how was i going to live?