Armageddon

[justin827]

I wrote this in like thirty minutes so it's probably rubbish but yeah here it is.

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The toxic air of Armageddon was completely filled with smoke and the continuous volleys of gunshots from the Ork lines which never hit anything. The earth shook as the endless barrages from the Basilisks dropped and hopefully hit an enemy position. He looked beyond the trench over to the crude and noisy Ork line. His heart raced at what he saw, thousands of Orks along with their sad excuses for machines growled and chanted.


Colonel Viktor Thorben of the 25th regiment of the Steel Legion had joined the guard at eighteen. He had climbed through the ranks and was now thirty-two. He lost his right arm to plasma fire during his first campaign up in the jungles of the northern hemisphere and was replaced with a bionic arm.


The 25th along with the 26th was ordered to dig in the sand dunes as two regiments were sent in advance to intercept the Orks. None from the advance forces have been spotted nor heard from. Whatever their fate was, they did not stop the Ork advance. The 150th armored division was still on the way but it would take them a couple more hours to arrive. They were desperate to hold out.


“Sacred feth they’re going to charge.” Exclaimed Viktor as he realized what was happening. “To your posts! Everyone for the throne’s sake to your fething posts!”


Their defense was now filled with men, all ready to die for the Emperor. The earth shaker rounds fell upon the charging foe, killing them fifteen at a time. One particular shell fell directly on a tank which then exploded, taking twenty or more souls with its demise. As they closed in, disciplined volleys of thousands of lasguns along with the clack of heavy stubbers and a few rockets felled rank after rank of the oncoming horde, but dealing little damage to their resolve and numbers.  

[Thy_obsessive_freak]

Well I can see that, at least it's an excuse why some of this is probably not well thought out or even finished. Though I'd have to say it ain't too bad for rushed work, like the idea of the Amergeddon trooper and the view on things such how the ork veichles are descrieded (their sad excuses for machines)

But yah alright work overall 4/5.  

[Hoxtalicious]

It's not rubbish but it could use some work. The short length isn't exactly helping.  

[justin827]

I wanna continue writing this story but I just have no main plot in mind. Any ideas?  

[Thy_obsessive_freak]

Hm, well being an over imaginative person, who comes up with roleplays and writes many novels, you should probably think of character concepts, goals and the climax.

For example, if you have the idea of yer character, such as his personality background and relations to others, goals think of things like what you plan to happen, such as battles, events and other characters and think how yer going to link them up together. As for the climax, think what yer character is trying to uncover, stop and the consequences if he doesn't, like is it a real smart ork warboss on his way to destroy a prized factory to the imperium and will result in giving the ork a vast age, so the character is out to stop him him that eventually it comes under a breath-taking duel.  

[justin827]

WalrusM3

Hm, well being an over imaginative person, who comes up with roleplays and writes many novels, you should probably think of character concepts, goals and the climax.

For example, if you have the idea of yer character, such as his personality background and relations to others, goals think of things like what you plan to happen, such as battles, events and other characters and think how yer going to link them up together. As for the climax, think what yer character is trying to uncover, stop and the consequences if he doesn't, like is it a real smart ork warboss on his way to destroy a prized factory to the imperium and will result in giving the ork a vast age, so the character is out to stop him him that eventually it comes under a breath-taking duel.

Awesome! Thanks mrgreen