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 Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:44 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:45 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:46 pm
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Chapters
-critiques are loved- p.s., dark blue is reworked/added parts
Beautifully Broken
The First Chapter
The room was almost pitch black with the ceiling light turned off. A blue glow came from the stereo system blaring music. If you had turned the light on you’d probably be taken aback by the bright red carpet and wood paneled walls, I was the first day I came here. It’s been three years since the first time I saw it and I still haven’t gotten use to it. Yet when the light is shut off, and you lay on the large twin bed in the left corner of the small bedroom you think you’ve fallen into heaven. The comforter is so soft it swallows you in its folds while you sleep. Besides the bed, and the stereo there wasn’t much to be found in the room. A closed closet door and a mini TV on a type of organization bin. Although it was practically bare it did hold something great. Eric Lou Warren was his birth name, yet I called him LouLou. He had been my best friend since the fifth grade. Unfortunately he moved when I needed him most. This was his cave, his sanctuary, and my safe haven.
Sighing, as I twirled my cherry red hair around my long fingers. Looking down at the joint burning in my hand, I watched the pretty embers burn as it shrank. It was such a beautiful thing, how one tiny little joint could make you feel so good. A loud noise came from the other side of the room, I glanced up at Eric; I noticed his attention was on switching the CD’s. Turning his head, he caught me looking and smiled. I could tell he was worrying about me. I tried to smile back in hopes he'd stop worrying so much, but it came out as a weak twitch at the corner of my lip. It never used to be like this, I thought. I never used to be like this. I used to control everyone, and everything around me. Where did I go wrong? When did I start having a heart? Being cold was easier; not caring about anything that didn’t benefit me was simple. Somewhere I let the wrong person in, and they turned me into a loving person. I hated it then and I hate it now, it makes me hurt. I’m so weak, so fragile, so see through to all those against me. I am nothing but a weak forgotten coward.
Taking a long drag, I let the smoke escape slowly through my nostrils. People used to say to my mother when i was a little girl that I was the one kid in town who would turn out alright. Even when I was stuck up, I never broke the laws and the few morals I did have, but after the life changing event that I had endured not so long ago, they were all lost to me. I know what happened, and I know what made me change. If I think back to when this change started, before my life turned to crap and I decided the only solution to fix it was absolute, meaning I could never turn back. If I think back that far, it begins with me sitting on the beach on a hot summer’s day…
The sand was a twinkling yellow shade, soft and warm to the touch. Children laughed and played in the crystal clear waves that splashed onto the beach. Bright sunlight burnt unprotected skin, tanning the bikini-clad teenage girls lying on their towels. Fit guys ran around with Frisbee’s and soccer balls, trying to get the attention of the girls. An ice cream truck’s music mixed with the sound of conversation as it drove by on the park road. In the mist of all the laughter and activity sat four teenage girls, each laying on their own bright patterned beach towel chatting away. That’s where I was, between two of those girls, lounging on a bright pink beach towel in a lime green bikini. I wasn’t what you called the 'hottest girl around,' or the 'most popular girl,' but I must have had something, because I always got the guys I wanted, and I chose the friends that interested me.
I was perfectly happy sitting on that beach with three of my best girlfriends: Betty, Danielle, and Felecia. Back then they were all I needed for entertainment. They kept me out of trouble, always keeping me on my schoolwork, and discouraged each other from being involved in any illegal affairs. I guess although they were always there, they did give me room for myself and that was all the room I needed to mess things up. They should have known better. Every time they gave into my ideas or let me do something that they wouldn't it always ended badly. Yet maybe they just thought I was more like them than I actually was. Maybe I believed it too. I knew I wasn't as smart as them at school, or make decisions.
I had no clue that I was with three best friends who were nothing like me at all. There was Danielle, tan with long blonde hair flowing gently down her back. She loved to complain and bitching was her favorite pasttime. Danielle cared for nobody but herself with the exception of me. She practically worshiped me, because I could talk to guys so easily as well as the popular crowd. The only benefit I had from keeping her around was simply to have someone under my full control. I was a total stuck up b***h so naturally I loved how she treated me, and I took full advantage of her as much as I could. When I needed something done she would get it done. If I was mad at someone she made their life a living hell without me having to lift a finger. It was like my own little puppet.
Next was Felecia Misty Miles. I could never no matter how different she was from the rest of my friends bring myself to get rid of her. She was my best friend since kindergarten. She was very overprotective, perfect in class, and a straight A student, Felecia followed all of her parents' rules. She tried to guide us in the right direction every time she got the chance. Her intentions were good, but her attempts to keep us in control failed horribly on the majority. Although she was a nerd she was hot, I must admit if I was a lesbian I would have dated her. She had long dark brown hair, pretty blue eyes, a warm chocolate skin tone, and a perfectly toned body, I have to admit, I was jealous of her.
Someone I was not at all jealous of was Ms. Betty Richmond. She was rich because her daddy was ******** swimming in money. She was the ugliest, and the slut in our group. How guys could kiss her bent teeth, stare into her droopy gray eyes or touch her pimply pink face was beyond me. But she knew how to have a good time. If I got in trouble I was always in the company of Betty. I always considered getting rid of her, and if I had to get rid of someone in our group it would be her, but somehow she seemed important or important enough to keep around. And that’s who it began with, my three friends and me just lounging on the beach on a very hot summer day.
“It’s too hot out,” Danielle sighed, playing with her long blonde braids.
“That’s why we’re here chicky,” I stated. “It’s never hot enough to swim, so we have to take advantage of the warm weather while we can.” I popped open another Pepsi and sipped, staring at the cute boys in their swim trunks. Kyle, a boy from school, waved to me as he ran after a lost volleyball. I waved back and smiled.
“Ha! We both know you’d rather be hanging out with Billy Rogers,” Betty teased, spreading tanning lotion over her pale shoulders. Giving a small smile, I ran my hand through my hair. Billy Rogers was a badass to say the least. He had just gotten his ankle bracelet off and rumors were he was already growing three new pot plants in his back yard. He was a flavor of man; I had never had the pleasure of tasting. The bad boy drew me in like a bug to a fluorescent bulb.
“Billy’s one cool guy,” I said, a smile spread across my face with just the thought of his name. I could instantly see the distaste for Billy appear on Felecia’s face.
“Are you kidding me? He is the biggest wannabe around, I mean honestly, he’s just a druggie who wants to get laid, honey,” she said disapprovingly. Her nose surprisingly found its way out her latest book.
“Say whatever you want about him Felecia, you know she won’t listen.”
“Yeah, Betty’s right.” Danielle’s mischievous giggle turned heads in our direction.
“Hey, I’m going to head out. I’m already as tan as I’m going to get without looking like a potato," I said more to myself.
Danielle and Betty seemed to have paused. Their faces were directed toward the beach parking lot. Felecia’s face yet again stuck deep within the pages of Margaret Peterson Haddix. Turning to see what was going on, a wide grin spread across my instantly flushed face. “Billy Rogers.” I sighed heavily.
“Billy Rogers,” Betty mocked in an overly excited tone.
Flashing a look of distaste in her direction, I grabbed my beach bag as he waved me over. Slowly, I started a sexy jog across the beach. Right before I was out of ear shot of the girls I heard Felecia cry out.
“Be safe Jude, you don’t know what kind of things he’s capable of.” Smiling I was glowing with excitment. He wanted me, and I, like every other dimwitted girl who craved danger and a rush, wanted him.
“Hey Billy,” I said. Flashing him a cute smile, I was trying to calm my nerves and act cool I made sure not to play with my hair. I wanted him to feel as if I didn’t need him, want him, or think about him when he wasn’t around. He needed to come to me to play the game and win me and score me. I wasn’t sure how far he had to go, I had never been in this situation before with a guy like him.
“Hey, what’s up?” His tight black shirt over his slightly toned tan body almost made me shiver. His deep voice didn’t help much either.
“Not much, I was just heading out.” A smirk crossed his face his dark brown eyes almost sucked me in.
“Really? So do you have to be somewhere, or can you go for a ride with me?” Tempting, it was very tempting. It was either getting on the back of Billy Rogers motorcycle or go home. It only took a moment to make up my mind.
“What about my bag?” As soon as the words came out, I wanted to smack myself upside the head. What about my bag? Ugh this was Billy Rogers, the Billy Rogers this was not time for baggage.
“No worries, drop it back with your friends and hop on.” Sighing, I looked at the walk to my friends. Biting my lip, I felt the heat of the day messing with my head. I was crabby and hot. Yet Billy Rogers only comes once in a lifetime.
“Alright hotshot, I’ll be back in five.” Crossing the parking lot and making my way across the warm sand, I reached my friends.
“So, did he ask you out yet?” Betty asked excited. Rolling my eyes, I set my bag down.
"Oh please, Betty chill. It's not like this is the first guy who liked her," Danielle snapped, rolling her eyes. Jealousy was practically putting her into a mad rage.
“Come on Betty, calm down. I don’t want Billy knowing I hang with freaks. Now girls, I’m going to go play with the big boys. One of you take my bag with you when you chicks leave,” I ordered smoothly.
“I’ll take it with me, as long as you promise me you will stay out of trouble,” Felecia argued. Again I rolled my eyes. Turning my back, I walked forward towards the guy who would soon ruin me, but at the time I didn't even have a clue.
Beautifully Broken
The Second Chapter
The wind whipped my hair into my face. I tried to breathe through the pounding wind. I giggled and buried my face in Billy’s shoulder. Cars seemed to be standing still as he sped by. Shivering from the cold wind I moved myself closer to Billy my body right up against his back. Wrapping my arms a bit tighter around his waist for warmth, he chuckled. Everything seemed so distant from us as we rode, as if the whole world could never touch us. We were the only thing moving on earth it was like freedom. Sweet freedom that I hoped would never end. Looking over his shoulder, I gasped. A car sped around the corner. Clenching my eyes shut, I tried not to scream. Billy swerved gently, just missing the front bumper of the Ford Mercury. Being on the back of his bike gave a burst of adrenaline from the fear of an accident. I had never felt such a rush. Turning onto a quiet side road he slowed down. He pulled over to the curb in front of a big tan house and put his foot down so I could get off safely. Hopping off, I tried not too look to curious about our location. The motorcycle engine died, a clean click locked the kick stand, and Billy swung his leg over the bike. Turning, he pulled off his leather gloves and flashed that wickedly cute grin.
“This is my place,” he explained. I looked behind me. The tan house was a bit on the small side, yet it was cute. Everything matched, from the brown shudders and doors to the dark brown stone walkway leading up to the neatly painted porch. It gave the impression that the owners cared for appearance.
I looked back at Billy. I never would have expected him to live in such a quaint house. “Like it?”
“It’s cute,” I said smiling.
“Cute? Great, I’m going to have to move,” he teased. Holding his gloves in his right hand he started his way up the stone walkway. Turning he looked back at me, “Coming?”
“But of course.” Slowly I followed him up his porch and into his dimly lit house. It was just as well kept as the outside, but every door insight was shut. The outside might have been 'cute' but the inside as neat as it was seemed unfriendly and strict. “Should I take my shoes off?”
“Nah, just don’t go into the living room with them on. My mom is a stickler about her white carpet in there.” he rolled his eyes.
“Noted.”
Leading me down a long hallway, I relized there was nothing much to look at, no pictures on the walls and no open doorways. Just a shaggy tan carpet and cream painted walls. At the end of this long hallway was a door it was just like the rest closed shut. The only exception was a blue glow coming from the crack underneath the door. Slowly Billy reached out and shoved the door open. “I really hate this door, it always sticks.” He gave a weak smile and opened the door the rest of the way.
A soft blue glow filled the hallway.
Stepping in behind Billy, I tried to see as much as possible without looking too eager. The blue glow was coming from a long tube-like light. It surrounded the entire border of the ceiling. A large HD TV sat on top of an old dresser. Beside the TV and a large bed with a soft looking comforter; there was not much else to look at. “I just moved a little while ago. I use to live with my father, but he kicked me out. So here I am,” he explained.
Sitting down on his bed, it gave a quiet squeak. Looking up at me he motioned for me to sit beside him. Unnoticeably hesitant, I slowly walked over to him, and sat gently on his bed. It was heavenly, squishy and soft it made me want to fall backwards and sleep for hours.
"Why'd you get kicked out?"
"He found my peace pipe," Billy laughed. “You smoke right?”
“Smoke what?”
“Weed,” he laughed.
I blushed. “I never have,” I admitted embarrassed.
“Well let me be your first to introduce you to Mrs. Mary Jane,” he said with a large smile.
“Sure, why not?”
“Perfect,” he said happily. He reached over me, opening the top drawer of a night stand I hadn’t noticed a moment ago. The blue rays of light shown upon a bag containing peices of a green brown colored plant. I had never actually seen weed in real life before. He pulled out the baggy. Setting it in his lap, carefully he reached over again and pulled out a glass pipe. “Already packed.”
I smiled, not having a clue what that meant.
He handed it to me and I took it hesitantly. Looking it over, I realized it was quite a piece of art. It was blown glass, shaped like a spoon with red and green lines of color twisting all around. A hole was in the side of the bowel.
“Um ok, now what?” He chuckled. Grabbing the pipe from me, he held it up and pointed at the hole in the side of the bowel.
“For starters, this is the carb. The carb holds in the smoke so it gets to your lungs. So you hold it like this.” He put the end up to his lips, his hands cuddling the pipe under its bowel. “Thumb over the carb, you take the lighter hold it upside down over the bowel. Light the lighter, as soon as it starts, suck in. Without taking your hand off of the carb, I like to hold my breath for a while than let it out. Finally you put your lips around the end again, let go of the carb and suck in. That’s a full hit, than pass. Not that hard right?”
I stared blankly. He laughed again. “Alright, I think I can do it,” I chuckled nervously. Taking the pipe from him, I held it to my lips, he handed me the lighter and I lit it. Quickly I turned it over and sucked in, my eyes watered as the embers burnt. Pulling the pipe from my mouth, I started coughing passing it to Billy.
“Don’t forget the carb,” he reminded. Taking his own lighter out of his pocket, he sucked in, letting a smooth stream of smoke rush out of his nose. Taking the last hit the carb had to offer, he passed it back to me, still holding his breath.
Sucking in the smoke, it filled my lungs. Pulling the pipe away this time, I let the smoke sit in my lungs for a second or two. Breathing it out, I sucked out the carb, passing it to Billy as he smiled in admiration. This pattern continued for the next ten minutes, getting smoother with each toke. My head was buzzing and I felt almost numb with calm.
“Damn that’s it,” he sighed looking at the rez left in the blackened bowel. “How you feeling?” I laughed in reply. I laid down on his bed and starred at the ceiling. I felt like jumping on his bed, but I was too lazy to get up. Movement seemed so overrated and unnecessary at this point.
Suddenly Billy’s head was right above mine. His large blue eyes gazed down into mine. “Hey,” I giggled.
“Hey,” he said in a raspy voice. Tilting my head at him, I grabbed his neck gently and pulled him down. Our lips touched gently, raising his head a bit he decided against it and locked his lips against mines, gently kissing me again and again. There was no need for all of this. I had already fallen head over heels for him at first site.
Suddenly I was slowly falling backwards, Billy’s hand on my shoulder. As I was pushed down I closed my eyes. Soft lips brushed my own, a sweet gentle kiss. That’s all it had started with, a simple kiss that made me fall so deeply in love with him I felt like I had lost my mind.
Beautifully Broken
The beginning of the Third Chapter
On Friday night I found myself standing on my porch waving after Billy’s car as it drove away. I couldn’t help but let a huge grin spread across my face. It had been a wonderful night with Billy yet again. Already we had seen a movie together, ordered Chinese, and French kissed. Everything was going slowly just how I liked it with no flaws in site. He seemed to be the perfect guy if that is at all possible to find. The only thing that bothered me was the constant rumors being spread about how Billy played girls. Supposedly according to one girl he went as far as dating her for six months to have sex with her. Directly after she had sex with him he dumped her and moved on to a new prize. After hearing this I was furious, sure I had heard he played some girls in the past, but to go that far? I had confronted him and he denied it as I knew he would. He told me if I didn’t trust him there was no point in seeing him anymore. After thinking for a long lonely night I decided I would give him one last chance. I Jude would prove to the world that Billy was not a player anymore. Yet I worried that if I was wrong, it would crush my heart into pieces.
“I guess I have to take that chance,” I whispered to myself. Coming back to reality I was still leaning against the porch railing. A loud obnoxious ringing came from deep within my house. “I’m coming,” I called as if the person calling could hear me. I quickly unlocked my front door, ran down the hallway and grabbed up the receiver. “Hello?” Giggling came from the other side of the line. “Betty, is that you?”
“Oh hey, Jude, why aren’t you here?” I could tell by the ruckus coming from the other side that Betty was hosting the Friday sleepover at her house this week.
“I’m sorry Betty, I completely forgot! Billy wanted to go to the movies tonight, and I thought you guys would understand. It’s probably too late to head over now. I’m super tired,” I apologized.
“Aw, Jude, come on, hoes before bros you know how it is,” Betty teased.
“I know, I know, but he’s so amazing. I can’t seem to keep my mind off of him.”
Betty sighed. “Looks like you’re falling for this one hard. I guess you’re off the hook this time. But next time you’re in trouble! Got it?”
“Is she coming?” Danielle asked in the background.
“No, she’s tired; she just had a date with Billy,” Betty explained.
“Tell her to be safe,” Felecia said.
I rolled my eyes. “Well, I guess I’ll call you tomorrow? We can all go to the beach,” Betty said.
“Ugh I don’t want to go to the beach again it’s too damn hot,” Danielle whined.
“Sure, I could use some sun anyways. You girls have fun,” I replied.
“Bye love you babe.”
“Bye,” Felecia and Danielle said from the background.
“Bye.” Hanging up I sighed. How could I have forgotten the weekly sleepover? Walking back down the hallway, I climbed the narrow oak stairs to my room. Opening the door I quickly went to my desk and jotted a quick note down so I wouldn’t forget to call Betty tomorrow. It had been five days since I’d been with the girls, which was an odd thing for us. We barley ever spent two whole days away from each other. Throwing myself on my bed I sighed, I had always had boyfriends before and still hung out with the girls. Why does he make me want to be with him constantly? He can’t be that great, I thought to myself. Looking at my alarm clock it read nearly 10pm. Yawning I pulled the string on my desk light and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.
© Galenia Ann Love
All rights reserved. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without the consent of Galenia Ann Love. If you want to use this piece, please contact larsondan@hotmail.com. |
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