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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 4:11 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 4:12 pm
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."
He sighed................
" Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:48 am
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Blonde Cops
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
You've got blonde! A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. She came back out again. Finally the man got annoyed. 'What's wrong?"
"My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
Another Chance
One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb. They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."
The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd. She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?" The blonde responded: "November?"
"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?" The blonde responded: "Paris?" So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?" The blonde replied: "Two?"
“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.
Blonde at a football game
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the beginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
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Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:51 am
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Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy who was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy, why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came down and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!!"
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:11 pm
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Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 9:29 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:48 pm
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Snow Plow
One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." The wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." So the wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park..." Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, her husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."
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Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 8:50 pm
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Once, there was a not so big company that needed a sales promotion. So they came up with the "100 Stairs" competition. What they would do, is make a staircase with 100 stairs on it, and at every stair, a person was placed at it. And every person would tell you a joke. If you laughed, you would lose. And if you got to the top, you would win a million dollars.
So, on the opening day of the competition, tons of people show up to give it a try. The high score for the first hour was 15. Then, at some point it time, a blonde starts to go up the stairs. Hearing every joke and still keeping a straight face.
Amazingly, she got up to the 100 step, and started laughing. And the guy about to tell her the joke said, "Why are you laughing? I haven't even tole you your 100th joke yet."
"I just got the first one!"
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Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:05 pm
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Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 5:24 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 3:59 pm
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Posted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 6:08 pm
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Posted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 6:26 pm
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