On the Path to find a Path

[Xayim XVI]

Hi, hello, hola, aloha! The name is Dragon. I'm 15 years young and am still attempting to fit and format a religion/path for myself. I've been dabbling in paganism for about four and a half years and for the past year have been calling myself Wiccan. I was raised Christian, but my love of science has led me to question alot of the teachings of the Bible. Of these questionable teachings is the belief in a God or Deity. I have trouble getting my head around the fact that there are things that I can't prove exist scientifically, such as Deity. However, I have tried living athiestically, but found that I can't live without some sort of faith. For now you could call me an Ecclectic-Faerie Wiccan.

I worship the Horned God and Triple Goddess. I recognize the Pagan Wheel of the Year as "holy days", for lack of a better term. I perform magick, if not on a daily basis. I have an alter set up that I use regularly. I am starting a daily meditation routine. Other than that, I'm too timid to try other things solitarily. I really want to find a coven to join, but there are none where I live. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Blessed be,
Dragon heart

 

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

A couple things to point out...

MissDracoMalfoy1993

I've been dabbling in paganism for about four and a half years and for the past year have been calling myself Wiccan.

At the risk of sounding rude, you really shouldn't call yourself Wiccan. You have not done the work to properly earn the title.

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I was raised Christian, but my love of science has led me to question alot of the teachings of the Bible. Of these questionable teachings is the belief in a God or Deity. I have trouble getting my head around the fact that there are things that I can't prove exist scientifically, such as Deity. However, I have tried living athiestically, but found that I can't live without some sort of faith.

Out of curiosity, how deeply have you studied Christianity?

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For now you could call me an Ecclectic-Faerie Wiccan.

Except that Eclectic-Faerie Wicca is non-existent.
There are specific, valid traditions of Wicca. Eclectic isn't one of them. Neither is Faerie.
Since Wicca is an orthopraxy (based on correct practice), it can't really be eclectic.
It might be helpful to you to check out the Wiccan FAQ as well as scorplett's thread here in the Pathways subforum.

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I worship the Horned God and Triple Goddess.

What are their names?
Or are you approaching from a soft polytheistic point of view?

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I recognize the Pagan Wheel of the Year as "holy days", for lack of a better term.

To note, the Wheel of the Year isn't exactly in ALL Pagan faiths. Different faiths have different calendars, celebrations, etc...I mean, check out a Hellenic calendar once! Whew!

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I perform magick, if not on a daily basis.

No "k." Spelling it "magick" refers to a specific tradition of ceremonial magic called Thelema started by Alestair Crowley.

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I have an alter set up that I use regularly. I am starting a daily meditation routine. Other than that, I'm too timid to try other things solitarily. I really want to find a coven to join, but there are none where I live. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

For a Wiccan coven, you need to be at the very least 18 years old before they will consider you; some want you to wait until you are 21. Since Wicca is a fertility-based faith and not a nature-based faith their rites involve sexual themes and actions. Not appropriate things for minors.
If you are interested in a more eclectic pagan group I can't really speak for them; each group may have their own guidelines and rules for accepting members that can vary widely.  

[Taliah]

Eclectic Neopagan is probably a more correct term for you.

But as Violet said, you can't have done the proper initiation or other particulars of Wicca to truly claim the title. Doesn't make your path so far invalid, it's just not the correct name.

That, and your being 15 gives you some limitations as well. So really, now is the time to read, read, read! Check out the pathways threads of other members here, and they often have a list of books and tips to help you on your way, as well as ones to watch out for. Look at them all! Now's the time to really explore your beliefs and others, finding concepts you agree and disagree with, and just otherwise open your eyes to the hundreds of other ideas and philosophies.

No one said you had to stop at Wicca ^_^  

[Xayim XVI]

Thanks to both of you for pointing out these things. As for the name, I just put that specific name because I had no other name for it. As the thred is titled, I don't know exactly what I am, and am currently searching for just that.

I haven't neccesarily studied the Bible itself, and all I know is what I learned in church.

I call my Goddess Luna and my God Apollo.

I've self initiated myself as a solitary Wiccan. I follow the Wiccan Wheel of the Year, just to clear that up. I have studied Wicca by itself. I've also studied Germanic and Celtic traditions as deeply as my small amount of resources have allowed me to.

I have seen the word "magick" spelled that way many times when not refering to that tradition.

As for a coven, I just meant other Wiccans that could help figure these things out. Being reletivly new to such things, that would be very helpful.

Once again, I appreciate the comments and suggestions. I came here looking for guidence and am glad people are glad to give it. I love learning, especially about religion.

 

[Chaos Blue]

To add, there's no such thing as self-initiation. What you did was probably Self-Dedication, which there's nothing wrong with. Initiation requires someone else to enter you into a certain group.
I'm pretty sure the books you read are not Wicca. It's just mislabeled as such.  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

MissDracoMalfoy1993

Thanks to both of you for pointing out these things. As for the name, I just put that specific name because I had no other name for it. As the thred is titled, I don't know exactly what I am, and am currently searching for just that.

No worries.
But, now you know the most accurate name for what you practice is Eclectic Neo-paganism 3nodding .
Use it proudly.

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I haven't neccesarily studied the Bible itself, and all I know is what I learned in church.

You might want to investigate Christianity a bit more in-depth.

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I call my Goddess Luna and my God Apollo.

So you go with the Greek deities?

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I've self initiated myself as a solitary Wiccan. I follow the Wiccan Wheel of the Year, just to clear that up.

As Chaos has pointed out, no such thing as self-initiation wink . I don't think I need to repeat anything here.

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I have studied Wicca by itself. I've also studied Germanic and Celtic traditions as deeply as my small amount of resources have allowed me to.

At best, what you've managed to learn from books and websites that claim they are "Wiccan" is outer-court information. Not to say that outer-court information is invalid or useless...it's just not the bulk of what Wicca is.

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I have seen the word "magick" spelled that way many times when not refering to that tradition.

I know; the reason usually given is to distinguish from stage magic or somesuch. But really. The context of "magic" should be pretty clear in a conversation (such as this). I really can't think of anyone who uses "magick" when referring to non-Thelema practices.

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As for a coven, I just meant other Wiccans that could help figure these things out. Being reletivly new to such things, that would be very helpful.

I'm confused as to what you mean here; are you saying that you only want the input of other Wiccans in terms of finding a coven? Non-Wiccans might have some helpful input too neutral

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Once again, I appreciate the comments and suggestions. I came here looking for guidence and am glad people are glad to give it. I love learning, especially about religion.

wink .
I think another piece of advice to keep in mind as you keep learning and growing is don't stop learning, even if what you are learning isn't what you want to hear. I kind of feel like people only want to learn what they want to hear; what makes them feel good, and when they hear something they disagree with or similar, they turn around and run in the other direction.  

[Xayim XVI]

Actually, my cousin took me shopping to find a good book on Wicca. She and I found A Guide for Solitary Practitioners by Scott Cunningham. She's pagan herself (I'm not sure what branch) and has been since she was young and is now in her late twenties. We both think it's a good source.

Thanks for helping me find a name for myself. I will use it with pride! 3nodding

Yes, I've studied quite a bit of Greek mythology with my Dad. Greek is my favorite mythology that I've read so far, though Celtic is runner up.

Yes, Self-Dedication is what I meant.

I just want a group that I can share my experiences with and that will help me along my path. I don't know what to call that so I used the term Coven.

And don't worry, I'll always keeping finding things to learn about. I love hearing feedback about anything from others; it brings a wider perspective into view, therefore helping in the learning process.

 

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

MissDracoMalfoy1993

Actually, my cousin took me shopping to find a good book on Wicca. She and I found A Guide for Solitary Practitioners by Scott Cunningham. She's pagan herself (I'm not sure what branch) and has been since she was young and is now in her late twenties. We both think it's a good source.

To clarify, Cunningham writes good books on Eclectic Neo-pagan witchcraft, not Wicca. IIRC, he was initiated, but never learned any of the oath-bound materials. Of course, even if he had learned the oath-bound materials, he wouldn't be able to publish them.
It is a pretty decent book to start out with though.

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I just want a group that I can share my experiences with and that will help me along my path. I don't know what to call that so I used the term Coven.

Some groups are also called "Circles" 3nodding .

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And don't worry, I'll always keeping finding things to learn about. I love hearing feedback about anything from others; it brings a wider perspective into view, therefore helping in the learning process.

mrgreen  

[TeaDidikai]

Violet Song jat Shariff

IIRC, he was initiated, but never learned any of the oath-bound materials.

He learned. He just didn't publish them.

Miss, the name of the tradition presented in Cunningham's books is "Standing Stone Witchcraft", if you follow his tradition, that is your practice.  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

TeaDidikai

Violet Song jat Shariff

IIRC, he was initiated, but never learned any of the oath-bound materials.

He learned. He just didn't publish them.

Ahh okay.
Thanks 3nodding .  

[Xayim XVI]

Much thanks to everyone! I'm glad that I came here.

 

[maenad nuri]

I hope you don't mind, ut I'm going to be nitpicky:

Luna is Roman. If you are wanting to base it in Greek Mythology, you want Selene. Who was often associated with (although, not the same as, Artemis). I am kind of concerned how you are making them into the Horned God and Triple Goddess.

I love your attitude here, and I'm glad you are keeping an open mind as we tear this apart. We do it, so that you can build it back stronger and more internally coherent. To me, it seems like you want to do a lot of things at once. Which I was totally doing at 15 too.  

[Xayim XVI]

maenad nuri

Luna is Roman. If you are wanting to base it in Greek Mythology, you want Selene. Who was often associated with (although, not the same as, Artemis). I am kind of concerned how you are making them into the Horned God and Triple Goddess.

I call my Goddess Luna not out of mythology, but out of personal experience. I've always studied the night sky and will continue to do so. Out of this passion came my love of the moon. I use "Luna" because it's the spanish word for moon and sounds pretty. My Goddess is The Lady of the Moon, and therefore Luna.

Also, I use Apollo for my God because he is The Lord of the Sun, as is Apollo. That name I did take from Greek mythology.

Now, what did you mean by your concern? I'm afraid I don't understand.

maenad nuri

I love your attitude here, and I'm glad you are keeping an open mind as we tear this apart. We do it, so that you can build it back stronger and more internally coherent. To me, it seems like you want to do a lot of things at once. Which I was totally doing at 15 too.

Ever since I was young, my dad has taught me to keep an open mind when learning. Being naturally stubborn, this has been a particularly good lesson for me to have learned. wink Learning isn't just something that happens to me, it's a passion.

Yeah, that last bit sounds like me! 3nodding Sometimes it's a curse blocking my path to anything, and at other times it's a blessing keeping me off of the streets. wink

 

[maenad nuri]

My concern is that you are taking well established deities (in this case, Apollo. I get your reasoning for Luna now) and trying to fit them into boxes that they don't belong in.

Let's take Apollo. Technically, he's not the god of the Sun (that would be Helios), but more of enlightenment, inspiration, that sort of thing. But if you take a modern view of Apollo, you can get away with that. They've been associated for a little while.

But how does he fit the Horned God? He doesn't have any dealings with the underworld, isn't a dying god ...and his sexual conquests almost never ended well for the women in question.

Pan is the Greek God often associated with the Horned God, due to the Romantic poets rediscovering him, but sanitizing him as a more pastoral god.  

[Collowrath]

I think it's also worth mentioning, Greek gods desired an orthopraxy as well. I believe Celeblin (local classic's major, believe she just received her degree recently?) put it roughly as "it's okay to do it a different way, just so long as you do it that way every time."

Greek rituals were meant to be done a certain way. This extended right down to prayers. If one thing was messed up or confused, the entire process had to be started over. I believe the Romans were bigger sticklers for this than the Greeks, who tended to be somewhat more flexible. The point is though, if you honor Greek gods, it's probably best to research into historical Greek practice and integrate it into your current one - and then practice it consistently.

Also, if you honor Greek gods, it would do you well to look into the concept of miasma and ritual purity. These concepts are key to worship in a respectful way.