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Tonight goes beyond not having support to downright punishment. It was my first day off in A LONG time. However it rained all day. I hate being alone and having nothing to do, because it leaves me to think and miss my ex and feel depressed. So anyway, I figure what better way to take my mind off things than working out. But I realized I hadn't eaten anything since a bowl of cereal in the morning and it was already 3pm. (Ever since my bf left me, I eat cause I know I need to, not cause I'm hungry, which is better than being hungry all the time, but can mess with my metabolism.) I thought I'd throw on a veggies lasagna, but it would take an hour to make. I figured my mom would arrive home at 5/6 and have planned something for supper and get pissed at me for not being hungry. (Which has happened many times) I thought of calling to see if that would be the case, but when I ask what her plans are for supper, she gets pissed and says she hasn't planned anything yet. Sooo, I just had a lil snack and figured I'd wait for her to get home...(yes I know this is turning into a rant/wall of text)

So, she gets home, and I take the car to pick up food for the dog. I get home, and she's made supper for EVERYONE except me. emo She's made 3 hot dogs, 3 grilled cheese, and enough soup for 3 people. She just says to me in this snoody tone, well I don't suppose you want any of this. I felt like saying, well grilled cheese on whole wheat I like, and I'd love some soup, but seeing as she only made enough for three people, I just ignored her and told her I'd find something to eat. So I take out some coquilles (potatoes, shrimp and cheese + some other stuff) And she grabs em from me, takes em out of the package and puts em in the oven. God forbid I should get in her way or make my own food...Anywho, they take half an hour to make, I'm already starving. But I sit on my comp while they all sit down for dinner together. Well half an hour later, she says to me she forgot to turn the oven on. So it's 8:40pm right now, and I still haven't eaten. crying

It's bad enough I spent the whole day alone, without anyone to even talk to. And then I have to spend the night excluded from my own family. And now I'm frustrated because I'm ACTUALLY hungry, which probably means my metabolism is already in hybernation mode. I don't have enough energy to work out. By the time I eat and digest my food I won't be able to workout till 9:30 which means I wont get to bed till 10:30 and I have a first aid training at 9am downtown tomorrow so I have to be up and out super early. crying If I miss my workout again I'll feel awful, if I don't get enough sleep ill also feel awful. Basically I have a shitty weekend ahead of me.

Am I old enough, yes, financially ready to? nope. I mean as it is I spend most of my money on food for myself and my pets. My parents never asked me too, but I started paying for the pets food as my own way of paying rent (considering they get high quality holistic food that runs me at least 100 a month I'm almost paying as much rent as my brother) The food I started buying for myself because I got sick and tired of my options at home. I'm the only person I know that eats healthiest when they go out to restaurants.

I'm going back to school full time in August so I especially can't afford to be moving out. For the most part I take care of myself (food, clothing, transportation) but when I'm home for dinner (which will be more often with my summer job, being a regular 9-5 shift) I usually get in s**t for not being hungry or not mentioning I wont be home.

Talk to my mother, no. I've never attempted to get her on board. But told her I don't mind if she tries any of the stuff I buy. If anyone's looking down upon the other's lifestyle it would be her. Constantly making sarcastic remarks about the things I buy and telling me it's just like the hippie movement of her day. That it's a waste of money etc etc. After 21 years I've come to learn that talking to my mother is pointless and a waste of energy. I have to fight for the "right" to do my own laundry. And as I pay for the clothes with my own money, yes, I think it ought to be a right. That's my big rebellion, doing my own laundry!!! Look out, who knows what this problem child will do next.