Your Religion and Hospitality

[TeaDidikai]

What traditions does your religion mandate when it comes to hospitality?

Is it different between strangers, friends and enemies?

Where does your personal expectations begin and end in relation to your spiritual traditions?

When you are extended hospitality, what does your tradition mandate for you and is it different than when you extend it to others?  

[aoijea23487]

eh, i am newb-ish on hospitality. mostly because i don't have a legit tradition yet and i just haven't looked into it much.

ancient greek hospitality intrigues me. there was so much of it in the odyssey. do you know if i can get a definitive "code" of hospitality of ancient greece and rome?

i've been known to be quite abrasive and i even own a copy of etiquette for dummies that will hopefully aid me in human-human interaction come college >>; people constantly tell me that before they knew me, i intimidated them. not always good thing, imo.

what about you, Tea? i've heard you lately talking about your code of hospitality and how you hardcore stick to it.  

[patch99329]

Hospitality is INCREDIBLY important within my religion. This has impacted me as a person quite a bit.

I'm having trouble articulating this, hence why I have not replied before. I shall edit this shortly.  

[TeaDidikai]

For me, my traditions depend on the visitors in question. Strangers are given courtesy, food, drink, medical attention if they need it and a means to maintain warmth. While things are polite, a stranger is closer to the line of violating hospitality than a friend is, thus, violations end in abrupt removal of them from the household.

Friends tend to be favored with gifts. They aren't allowed to work while here until they have been here at least once, usually more.

Violations are handled differently. It is against hospitality to tell someone in front of a group that they're messing up. It has to be done discretely. This is a ******** pain in the a** and it doesn't go smoothly usually.

There are of course household rules to be followed, just as I would follow rules in another's home.

Established enemies aren't granted hospitality beyond that of strangers- and it isn't a taboo to bar them from entering the dwelling place.

Further- all reasonable efforts are to be made to keep a guest from violating their own personal customs, based on severity of the offense and ability to make accommodations.

Lively discussion isn't a taboo, in fact, it is often encouraged. However, upon requests to refrain, one must do so. This gets complicated at times because there is a cultural understanding between things being an actual request for a behavior to stop and a false protest. sweatdrop  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

Unfortunately, my hospitality in relation to my faith isn't as developed as I would like it to be >.>

For enemies, it depends on severity. For example, my father would never be allowed to see the inside of my apartment. If it's the pig-headed guy who annoys me at work...he'd be allowed in, but not past the main/living room area of the home.

Strangers get the basics - food, drink, a place to rest.

Friends get the best of what we have available. They get first helpings of food at meals. If they wanted to sleep in the bed rather than the couch then that's what they get.

The only time this gets kind of...odd is when the roommate has guests over. In that event we tend to not deal with them unless we have to; my reasoning is that they are not our (my finace and I) guests. They are here for/with the roommate, ergo, he can provide and do for them.  

[Taliah]

Would you consider it rude for the stranger to offer to help clean after a meal, or something else similar? Or would there be cultural and/or purity issues with that hospitality?

I tend to want to help when visiting with my aunt, so I'll help her with the dishes and table clean up. In Tea's case, I'm not sure how exactly that might work.  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

Taliah

I tend to want to help when visiting with my aunt, so I'll help her with the dishes and table clean up. In Tea's case, I'm not sure how exactly that might work.

I'm the same way when I go visit folks.
When I was growing up, it was considered really rude to go eat at someone's house and then not even at least offer to help with the clean up sweatdrop .  

[Taliah]

Violet Song jat Shariff

Taliah

I tend to want to help when visiting with my aunt, so I'll help her with the dishes and table clean up. In Tea's case, I'm not sure how exactly that might work.

I'm the same way when I go visit folks.
When I was growing up, it was considered really rude to go eat at someone's house and then not even at least offer to help with the clean up sweatdrop .

Same here. It just felt awkward to me because they were having to wash what I dirtied up and could very well clean myself and help them get it done faster.  

[saint dreya]

TeaDidikai

What traditions does your religion mandate when it comes to hospitality?

Is it different between strangers, friends and enemies?

Where does your personal expectations begin and end in relation to your spiritual traditions?

When you are extended hospitality, what does your tradition mandate for you and is it different than when you extend it to others?

i love the fact that you posting this is so serendipitous. they've discussed this very thing on the Troth list, lol.

i think i will take some time though to fully look into not only what is set out by the organizations i'm a part of, but also what my Kindred require.  

[Deoridhe]

I consider hospitality critical. If you are in my home, I feel a strong impulse to meet all the needs of guests, up to and including paying for things for them. This extends to when I have a guest and accompany them to anothers' home, which is happening a lot these days. To give an example, recently I went to a potluck with two guests and I purchased their food for the potluck because I knew both have financial difficulties.

At a certain point, I move into a "what's mine is yours" mindset with friends. I have a classmate who stays at my place the night after classes, and when I found his underwear I washed it and left it for him. He has a spot to keep some belongings in case he's limited in what he can carry on the plane. Etc...  

[TeaDidikai]

Deoridhe

At a certain point, I move into a "what's mine is yours" mindset with friends. I have a classmate who stays at my place the night after classes, and when I found his underwear I washed it and left it for him. He has a spot to keep some belongings in case he's limited in what he can carry on the plane. Etc...

There are similar attitudes in my concept of hospitality as well. But I'm afraid I have a little difficulty because as much as I love and adore many of my friends, a fair number of them aren't Rroma and thus they don't maintain the same purity standards I do.

They are still welcomed into my home, but there are measures in place to avoid contamination as well.  

[Collowrath]

TeaDidikai

What traditions does your religion mandate when it comes to hospitality?

This is colored by my culture more so than my religion, I think. I try to take care of whatever need my guests might have. As you said, it would be rude for someone new to the house to work. The more they're over, the more comfortable I feel with them getting their own drinks, etc.

Is it different between strangers, friends and enemies?

I treat strangers courteously - I don't typically invite them into the house. If they are in need of help, I try my best to oblige. If they overstep their bounds, such as inviting themselves in without express permission or by inviting themselves into my fridge, for example, I'm no longer under any obligation of hospitality.

The first time my friends are over, they get whatever they want, but I familiarize them quickly. biggrin Friends are part of the family, as it were. They don't wear shoes in the house, and if they want, I have some nice slippers they can wear.

Enemies are treated as such. I am polite until they provide provocation. My house is guarded against them and they are denied entry under any circumstance. I'm not obligated to provide them assistance of any kind.

Quote:

Where does your personal expectations begin and end in relation to your spiritual traditions?

My spiritual traditions demand a certain level of bodily purity - as such, I generally ask not to be touched by strangers and a minimal level of body contact with friends. I also ask that my personal things are left untouched. I would consider it rude to touch the things in my house without permission as well, but this is largely cultural I think, and I think is mostly shared with Anglos.

I'm also expected to respect the traditions of other people. On my trip to Pine Ridge Reservation, South Dakota, I took no issue with being saged in order to be acceptable spiritually for the group I was with.

Quote:

When you are extended hospitality, what does your tradition mandate for you and is it different than when you extend it to others?

I'm expected to take it graciously. If someone puts food in front of me, I eat it. When I don't agree with their ideas, I'm expected to turn the other cheek initially. I'm expected to "keep my hands to myself."

An interesting cultural meme (more?) endemic to Slovakia that my family retains, is that we refuse an offer at least thrice before accepting. It's rude to accept an offer of money or food etc the first or second time. Anglos though have a tendency to accept the first refusal as a refusal, which can be a little disconcerting for me.

The rules are less rigid when I extend hospitality for how the exchange should happen than when I'm on the receiving end. It mostly boils down to how comfortable I can make someone. The key is to be upfront, gracious, and polite.  

[TeaDidikai]

Taliah

Would you consider it rude for the stranger to offer to help clean after a meal, or something else similar? Or would there be cultural and/or purity issues with that hospitality?

Offer? No. I'd simply tell them to go relax and enjoy, I'll finish up cleaning and be with them shortly.

There are some purity issues involved, but an offer isn't a transgression.

Sneaking into my kitchen and trying despite my protests is a different matter. ninja But it is a small slight, nothing to hold a grudge over and more often than not is merely a culture clash.

Granted, there is a point when a person (family or friend) is so much a part of my home that this is no longer the case- and the work arounds on the purity issues are easy enough to accommodate.  

[Taliah]

So nothing major then. Thank you.

Mine's less religious and more of a cultural good manners type of thing ("Southern Hospitality" if you will).

If it's a stranger, an offer inside and to sit, but probably just the living room. Offer of a drink is pretty common too. But they most likely won't see the rest of the house, but for a few exceptions.

First time over friends get good treatment. Offer to see the whole house, offers of drinks, food, snack... whatever, depending on how long they are staying. Older friends who have been over before are welcome to help themselves in the kitchen, tv, spend the night, and so on.

Enemies... well, they aren't really invited, nor particularly welcome, but they're treated nicely until they give a reason who be asked to leave.  

[aoijea23487]

Tea, I'm confused about what you mean by "purity issues." Could you please explain?