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Saving Grace

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Mia_MaxRide

PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 6:05 pm
So, here it is. My baby, my blood sweat and tears for the last while, my hope and dream for a better future.
rolleyes Okay, so tha's a little over the top, but this is the biggest writing project I have ever embarked on. The only problem, is that it has come to almost a complete standstill. Any reviews and/or advice would be much apreceated. I'll try and post whenever I can.
So, enjoy.
* the title is a temporary thing, since I can't think of anything, although Saving Grace might be a good choice... hm, I'll have to think about that one.  
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 6:13 pm
When I look back at it all, I decided that it was Brandon's fault. If he hadn't of thrown the skateboard at me, none of this would have happened. But that's just me being stubborn. It probably would have happened anyway, just… differently. Maybe better, maybe worse. But it was inevitable. I just want to tell you my side of the story, so that you can judge me the right way.
I was a normal kid. Going to school, trying to figure out the future. I was one of the few kids that kept up to date on the 'A' virus. It might have been because I was looking for something that proved High School wasn't the end of the world. I wish now that I could have at least had a day in High school. I don't even know if my designated school is still standing.
I guess I should get back to the subject at hand. So you can understand why the world is falling around your ears.
***

As I said, it started with Brandon. We were at school, doing nothing because of another blackout. There were so few kids today, that we were all alone in our hallway. He was skating around, just trying to have fun.
No one cared what we did anymore at these times. There wasn't enough staff to monitor everything, and the adults just wanted us to live as much as we could. Canada wasn't one of the major virus areas, but we were all still nervous. US was a big hit, but they had quarantined the country so well, that no one was really getting out. If you were to base the border line on where population started for the two countries’s, then there was this big no mans land from the original Border to about the bottom of Oregon/Idaho. Hadn’t heard anything from the US for a while, but some people still held out for them.
So here I was, listening to Aaron and his group playing in the band room. Becca and Sakshi were beside me, chatting about random stuff, trying to stay upbeat. I shared something here and there, but I was being quiet, listening. I hadn't been feeling like myself today. Not sick… just different. I was trying to cover it up, incase they all overreacted. But no one had noticed yet.
“There’s something not fair about this. The one time the school doesn’t care what we do, and it’s the one time there’s no electricity. We could be watching ‘Gilmore Girls’ right now.” Sakshi cried. She gave a weak laugh, trying to brighten up the mood, “I brought all the seasons for tonight. If the power comes back on, we can see how many we can watch before falling asleep.”
“Doesn’t matter if the power doesn’t come back on, my dad hooked the whole house up to a gennie, so we’ll still have power.” Becca said. she looked at me. “Wanna come over tonight Adi? We could watch some Supernatural too.”
I couldn’t help but give a small laugh.
“You don’t have to bribe me with Supernatural, I can’t come anyway. Mom wants help running the house for a little while. And the kids think I’m going to be reading a story to them.” I leaned back and decided to try and sleep a bit. It would be a long night at the House, so I mind as well get what little sleep I could. The House was a small apartment complex that had been abandoned in the early stages of the outbreak. The first wave had affected people over the age of 30, and because of it, many children had been left alone. My mother, being the wonderful woman that she was, fixed up this place, and made it like a kind of safe house for orphaned kids. Our family helped run it, and it had grown since the outbreaks.
I was thinking about the kids in there when it happened. Brandon came ollieing down the hallway, concentrating on trying to keep the board in control. He noticed me looking and braked.
“C’mon Adi, show us your stuff!” He called, throwing the board at me. Brandon had always had a horrible arm, which became prominent at that moment. The board was way off, and headed at Becca’s head.
No one knew it; no one was expecting it, not even me. We all reached out, trying to stop it with some unknown force. So we were all pretty shocked to see the board stopped in mid air. We all froze, arm’s raised, looks of shock and fear on our face. Stuff like this was either unheard of, or stage four of A-Virus. This was stuff that should have been caught before. We all still had out hands out when I felt something new. Like when someone touches you to get your attention, except… it was all mental.
Hello Adriel. I’m glad that you are coming along so nicely.
I gave a scream, dropping my arm, and the board with it, thus stating that I was the infected. Everyone’s head snapped around at the same time, almost military style. Any other time, and it would have been funny. But this was serious. There had been very few cases that made it to stage four. The few that had, they were all horror stories. People’s brains had been so stressed from the mutations, that they had basically exploded. The few that didn’t have that fate said that they heard voices, and because of that became textbook Schizos. It just went downhill from there.
No one was saying anything, but you could almost know what they wanted to say. The silent screams of ‘freak’ and ‘infected’ made me flinch. I didn’t know what to do. If they told, or anyone else found out, they would kill me. It was as simple as that. No one who became infected was spared, not until someone found a cure.
I ran. I just started running, and had no idea why. Out the school doors, down the back alley that Aaron and I had used as a range. Past Tony’s where the girls and I had shared countless drinks and gossip stories. Down ‘Ender’s street’ where Brandon and I had raced each other countless times when the street had dried up. I just kept running, trying to outrun the truth. There was no way I could be infected, no way at all. Every dream and goal I had ever had raced through my mind. I was going to become and actress when the virus cleared up. I was going to be an actress, and star in George Lucas’s new movie. I was going to create five schools around the world for girls, so that they could have dreams too. I was supposed to go to Emily Carr University. I was… I was… I was.
I got to the House, bursting through the back door. Mom was in the kitchen, making lunch. I could hear the kids in the dining room, yelling and laughing. Mom stared at me, trying to figure out why I was home.
It’s strange what parts of that day I remember from then on. I remember crying, and telling my mom I was sorry, over and over again. I think I might have told her what had happened at one point, and then she was holding me, crying as well. We were on the floor for a while, just holding each other and crying.
I don’t remember anyone else coming into the kitchen, but I do remember being grabbed roughly, and staring at a man in robes. The look he gave me is the clearest memory I have of that day. The look of absolute loathing and disgust. Maybe it was the same look the Nazi’s gave the Jews in Auswitch, or the KKK to African Americans. Maybe if he knew me, really knew me, and knew what I did and loved, he would have given me a different look.
Mom was screaming when he dragged me out. By then some of the kids had heard, and had come out with her. I think there were looks of shock, anger, distraught. It didn’t matter. I was loaded onto the truck, and they drove off.
I never got the chance to say goodbye.
I never got to tell my mother or Father I loved them.
…I don’t really remember anything past that, except for one verse of Revelation that just kept going through my head.
“I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.”
My last memory is the sound of the hammer coming down.  

Mia_MaxRide


DreamingRoses1224

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2009 5:15 am
Pretty freakin' good! I loved it! It was brilliant.
You might want to read through it again and fix some of the typos EX: an/and.
Other than that: No critiques to offer. biggrin  
PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2009 7:20 pm
OMG!!! thank you so much for the positive review... fairly certain that this thing was going to get slammed to the ground hard. I'll try and get the next part up as soon as possible.  

Mia_MaxRide


DreamingRoses1224

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 11:19 am
Mia_MaxRide
OMG!!! thank you so much for the positive review... fairly certain that this thing was going to get slammed to the ground hard. I'll try and get the next part up as soon as possible.


I hope to read it soon. biggrin  
PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 9:38 pm
hmmm very interesting. A lot is left up to the reader's imagination as far as the look of everything, but that's not something that has ever bothered me.

A very nice start and I'd love to see where this goes.  

Rock4ourRock

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DreamingRoses1224

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 5:23 pm
Rock4ourRock
hmmm very interesting. A lot is left up to the reader's imagination as far as the look of everything, but that's not something that has ever bothered me.

A very nice start and I'd love to see where this goes.


I've always liked stories that allow more for the imagination of the reader, because then you can have your own personal piece of the book with you in your mind. Though it is a hassle when it becomes popular and they make it into a movie, then everyone gets in a hissy fit saying "that's not how he's supposed to look! that's not right!"  
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:20 pm
Wow.
 

Santinka

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