Marrying a non-christian?

[Stargirl8480]

Butterfly kinda reminded me that I was gonna bring this up with her topic on marriage..... so here it is! (and yes, this has bible discussion in it, regardless of how it looks at first haha)

So I have feelings for my best guy-friend... STRONG feelings... and we've dated before, but it didn't work out, so we just stayed friends. He has a girlfriend now... but if they were to break up, I'm pretty sure, if not SURE, that we would get back together eventually. I've had these feelings LONG before I became a christian.. and he's NOT a christian. He refuses to go to church... he doesn't believe that God is THE god that made us... blabla. And I can't convince him otherwise, but I keep praying for him.

So my point is, what if we did get back together, and later in the long run (Hypothetically) we were to get married..and he's a non-believer?? So many people say it wouldn't work...
but then I found this...

1Corinthians 7:13 "And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife."

What does this meannn?  

[lacarol_592]

i hardly believe that the author refers to when you are already married and one of the spouses become christian[they shouldnt get a divorce cause that's wrong too [divorce] ]
But it doenst mean [in my opinion] that you can marry anyone or even have feelings and strong friendships with anyone
2Co 6:14 Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers: for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? or what communion hath light with darkness?
you best friends, closest friends and your husband [in the future] should have the same vision of life as you, in this case you [us] being christians

thats just my opnion, sorry if some sentences aren't like clear..cause english is not my main language..i tried my best..but google-translator isnt great =P

God bless you heart  

[Stargirl8480]

Hmmm. that's kinda what I was thinking.

I feel like I hardly ever spend time with my non-christian friends now... because I'm spending so much time with my christian friends... my non-christian friends were/are my best friends though and it really sucks that we're getting separated.
But I think God is purposely putting all these christians in my life because it's what I need.. question
I really miss my friends though.
And getting over this guy is not easy, believe me, I've tried countless times.  

[Ixor Firebadger]

I'm kinda in the same boat. I moved 2,000 miles to be closer to someone that I really care for and to pursue a relationship with him. It's a course I've pretty much dedicated myself to and I'm not likely to go back on it now.

But I'm rather taking into account the spirit of that rule, rather than the letter. We are advised not to be 'unequally yoked' because of how it could interfere with your walk with God. But I don't feel that is in any way threatened. I've never really had a hear for 'evangelism', anyway, not as most people define it, so I'm not likely to put him off by trying to force my beliefs down his throat. And while I'm sure he thinks me a bit silly for what I believe he is very accepting of it. And not being a Christian doesn't mean that one is a bad person or even that one doesn't share the same ideals. It just means that they follow those ideals for the sake of being a decent human being, rather than for the sake of following any deity. I also have to ask myself if God would expect me to love this person any less simply because he isn't a believer

In terms of behavior, this guy would be a much better match than the one I previously dated, who actually was a Christian.

Bottom line-if you can still have a relationship with God even with that person, then I think it's ok. It's just something you have to work out within yourself.

I especially disagree with not having strong friendships with non-Christians. Love is the root of everything Jesus taught us to do and be. And that love is not to be limited simply Christians. "It is not the healthy that need a doctor." Also keep in mind that even though we are saved and the Christs' blood washes away our sins, at the root, not a single one of us can really be considered 'righteous'. We are not any better or really that different from anyone else. They are human, just like we are and vice versa.

But again, it is something you have to work out within yourself. If you don't feel your faith is strong enough and you need more Christians around to keep you accountable, then so be it.

I'm a lot more stubborn, so I can still stand strong, even around people who don't necessarily share that.  

[Stargirl8480]

Heh, I think you and I are a lot alike actually.

I don't think I need to surround myself with Christian friends to keep me accountable, but I do need them there definitely to keep on learning. Like I said before,I'm a fairly new christian...so I need to learn everything haha.  

[lacarol_592]

im not saying u should like forget bout your non-christian friends..i ment that ur closest friends should be christian [i've learned that the hard way] because you'll act like your non-christian friends not them like you
but you still need to have friends with non-christian people, and show them that they need what you have [JESUS]
mrgreen
Gby  

[Ixor Firebadger]

I think your closest friends should be the people that prove themselves most wqorthy, regardless of religion.

Some Christians can be jerks. And a lot of non-Christians are actually very good, very reliable people. 3nodding

And there are a handful that will even encourage you to stick to your beliefs, even if they don't share them.

I think that, ideally, if we are selecting our friends correctly, we'll have a pretty good mix.  

[Stargirl8480]

I think you're both right.

@ixor: My friends don't discourage me from my beliefs, but they don't wanna hear about it either. But what they don't realize is, when they find something that they really love, they wanna share it with everyone else, and we don't roll our eyes, we smile and are happy for them. But when I try to talk about Jesus or anything, most of them roll their eyes and say they don't wanna hear it. They say "Thats great for you..not my thing"...when I'm not even trying to push it on them or anything, I'm just so like excited about the lord and they don't care... it kinda hurts. I do have one friend, however, that listens and smiles and even asks questions.. she is a darwinist though... wants to be a biologist and whatnot... but its really great that she isn't so wrapped up in HER beliefs to not care about mine. :]

But yeah, friends are friends, no matter who they are.  

[Ixor Firebadger]

Heh. Well, my guy is a little like that. I mean, if I bring up some conversation I've had or something like that, he doesn't roll his eyes at me or anything. He even listens. But he does seem to try and skate around the subject of God, a lot. I just let him. I'm not going to bring him any closer by trying to force him. I may even just turn him off to listening to anything I have to say. Though, he does seem a little a like he's starting to open up to the topic. I think he's learning to be more comfortable about it the more he realizes I'm not the sort to get all forceful or judgemental.  

[Stargirl8480]

that's good ^-^ I'm glad you're happy with him.
But don't shut him off completely to what you have to say. Trust that God is speaking through you, cause you don't have to force it on him, but it would be such a blessing if he became a christian. If you shut yourself off completely then he won't have any curiosity. What you do when you speak is ignite a tiny spark inside of him that, as he learns more about God and believes, he will eventually be on fire for God xD

Sorry if that didn't make sense... 2AM and I'm half asleep.  

[Ixor Firebadger]

Oh I never said I keep it completely to myself. I bring it up if it seems appropriate for the conversation or when I bring up random conversations I have had with people. It just bugs me to see people try to force it into a conversation.

But believe me, I'm not shy about any of my opinions or beliefs 3nodding  

[Stargirl8480]

ah, that's good then :]
Do you ever feel like you talk about it too much around him or something, like maybe he gets annoyed?? [I feel like that sometimes]

You're avi looks cute by the way hah  

[Ixor Firebadger]

Mm...I think he gets a little uncomfortable when I do but he doesn't seem annoyed. But then, he is a very private and polite person, so maybe he just doesn't want to come out and say that. It's kinda like a 'just smile and nod' reaction.  

[ProphecyEmpress]

If you think that you will be happy with a non-Christian, you should go for the relationship if/when the opportunity arises. Love should not be about religion. At first, I was afraid that it had to be, but I tried dating a Christian; it didn't work. I'm not sure what it was, but we did not connect well and we actually had a lot of disagreements.

The thing I'm trying to say is that you should try to find happiness with someone who you truly love. If it turns out you end up with a non-Christian, then you should feel blessed all the same if the relationship works out. No one should feel pressured to find love with someone of their religion if they are more in love with someone else.

Sometimes, a Christian does not necessarily make the best lover just because they are Christian. I'm afraid I don't understand the Bible very well when it comes to any one issue, especially this one.

 

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

Wow, this topic is slightly old, but it's definitely interesting. Why haven't I posted in it until now?

Would it work? Absolutely. However, you have to understand the reasoning behind why God might caution or warn us against relationships with non-Christians.

Have you ever stood up on something like a chair or table and tried to pull someone up? Have you ever realized that it's much easier for the other person to pull you down than the other way around? The same can be said of "unequally yoked" individuals and their relationships with God (on a scale of none to Jesus). A Christian partner is more likely to support your idea of what a relationship should be like, and to agree to the moral standards and boundaries you set for each aspect of that relationship. This isn't to say that you couldn't find the same thing with a non-Christian partner, or that a Christian partner would agree with you 100% of the time. But it's common sense that like-minded people are going to have a better relationship than two people who disagree on the most important parts of it.