or
HEAD DESK
HEAD DESK
There's a lot of loose thinking about magic. People go around talking about mystic harmonies and cosmic balances and unicorns, all of which is to real magic what a glove puppet is to the Royal Shakespeare Company. Real magic is the hand around the bandsaw, the thrown spark in the powder keg, the dimension-warp linking you straight into the heart of a star, the flaming sword that burns all the way down to the pommel. Sooner juggle torches in a tar pit than mess with real magic. Sooner lie down in front of a thousand elephants. -- Terry Pratchett
Brought to you by the author who also invented the concept of being Knurd. A place where reality is a little too real. We like our illusions after all. They're cozy.
So my brain has dribbled out of my ears and I feel like everything I knew of myself has come crashing down around me- like a mirror being shattered after I confused the reflected image with the Self.
That's what it has done to me. All those sutras, all that reading. It's a crippling kind of pain and confusion for anyone to experience.
I believe it was Witches Abroad wherein Death asks Granny to find the "real" version of herself. And the illusion shattered- I'm left thinking, "******** only idea I am able to cling to in order to pick myself up again is "Chop wood and carry water".
I still don't know how I feel about Buddhism. I personally feel like I'm scrying my own entrails right now. Ironic no?
[/mini breakdown][thread=April Fools 2009] For whatever it's worth, all the setup for this was accurate. And the feelings I express, while having nothing to do with Buddhism were in fact similar to the experiences from my own early spiritual life.
Happy April Fools Folks
I never thought I would be able to wrap my head around Buddhism. That was half of my problem. That I was tying too hard.
I'm still not sure what this actually means for me. It's a strange idea to call myself a Buddhist after all this time. sweatdrop
Any ideas guys? I can't ignore what I have learned... perhaps I'm still 666.5ing.