How To Find Spiritual Balance

[Amy Winehouse]

I've recently felt like I've been going bat-crap insane.

My life refuses to settle down since I've taken up Discordianism. Yes, taken up. I'm sure there is a ritual somewhere to be initiated into "real" Discordianism, but I prefer something more fluid since my own beliefs and faith changes every time I learn about something new. I've gone from wanting to be a Satanist, to wanting to be a Wiccan (flufffyyyyy to the max, I was young though), to not caring, and then from there learning about every religion I could find. I change my beliefs and what I call myself every time, so I don't feel an initiation is appropriate for me in this stage of flux.

So, yes, Eris. Discordianism. The only Goddess, and thus the biggest aspect of the religion, is chaos. And I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it like a ton of bricks. Every time I leave the house, I end up in a strange situation. Work always gets weird, and I always have at least 13 rolls of film to do a day. Which is crazy.

My art is crackling, too. My inspiration, I mean. Some days, I just can't get anything out right, while other days I can't stop drawing no matter how badly my hand hurts.

So, among other things, I'm downright tired.

And I'm looking for some balance, something to set me on a path towards a little bit more calm in my life. Only revering chaos is a ridiculous undertaking when my life was barely sane before hand.

So where do I start? Zen? Buddhism? Meditation? Do I bring another deity in? Do I get rid of Eris? It's easier for me to remould my beliefs than start them completely from scratch.

I barely know what I'm saying! If I need to clarify anything... well, I'm sure you'll let me know. smile  

[TeaDidikai]

Amy Winehouse

I'm sure there is a ritual somewhere to be initiated into "real" Discordianism,

Eating a pork hotdog with the bun on Friday... or is it without the bun?

I prefer the cult of Bill the Cat anyway. A baptism of warm cheap beer and goldfish crackers.

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I've gone from wanting to be a Satanist, to wanting to be a Wiccan (flufffyyyyy to the max, I was young though), to not caring, and then from there learning about every religion I could find. I change my beliefs and what I call myself every time, so I don't feel an initiation is appropriate for me in this stage of flux.

Chaos Magician waiting to happen.

You should PM Tsuzuki.

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And I'm looking for some balance, something to set me on a path towards a little bit more calm in my life. Only revering chaos is a ridiculous undertaking when my life was barely sane before hand.

Atheism is nice and quiet. 3nodding

Why start with your religion when you could start with your life?
List the issues in you life. So far I see work and art.
Work depends on your personality. Art- I'd use the Artists Way myself.  

[Wrath of Ezekiel]

TeaDidikai

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I've gone from wanting to be a Satanist, to wanting to be a Wiccan (flufffyyyyy to the max, I was young though), to not caring, and then from there learning about every religion I could find. I change my beliefs and what I call myself every time, so I don't feel an initiation is appropriate for me in this stage of flux.

Chaos Magician waiting to happen.

You should PM Tsuzuki.

I'm glad I'm not the only one to think this.
Actually, a link to Tzuzuki's Chaos Magic guild is also appropriate, since it contains a lot of written resources which are easily viewed even though the guild is private.  

[Fiddlers Green]

Peace is a lie, there is only passion...
If you are caught in a storm, look for it's eye.
That point at which it is calm, yet still in the center of it all.
Don't embrace illusionary stability, it will only leave you unprepared when it is torn away. If you find something real to cling to, something that can protect you while you weather the storm, grasp onto it.
But then again, the Tsunami won't get you any more wet if you are already swimming.
Personally, and this is counter to what my usual advice would be, but I've had an odd year... I suggest learning to swim.
Don't fall, Dive.
Don't be blown about by the storm, Fly.
Don't fight it, catch it, ride it, let it take you to new places where you can look around, then, when you see where you want to be, pounce on it.
After all, taken on a small enough level, it's just the same as a marshmallow.

Oh, and no Discordian has read the Principiae Discordia in it's entirety, so you're doing really well.  

[maenad nuri]

This may be a little harsh, but let me first start a story.

My friend Goat was all on track -- about to graduate from CC, had a decent job and apartment. He was happy, things were stable.

Then he decided to Tattoo a chaos star on his chest. It is a beautiful piece of work. But things went down from there. Started drinking too much (still is), dropped out of school, he's more or less a drifter and a freeloader. As much as I love him the chaos took over his life and he let it go negative.


I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you can't handle Eris, if you can't find the positive in all that chaos, then maybe she's not the Goddess for you.  

[TeaDidikai]

maenad nuri

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you can't handle Eris, if you can't find the positive in all that chaos, then maybe she's not the Goddess for you.

ninja Backlash from treating deities as thoughforms eh?  

[Amy Winehouse]

I freaking love Discordianism.
I can't deal with serious religions. I can't deal with feeling bad about myself, with feeling shame for lying or being a hypocrite. Discordianism gives me the freedom to be a human, without feeling forced to ask forgiveness for it.

I love practical jokes. I love the fact that Discordianism is the trollingest religion I've ever encountered. I loved ColbertGASM and Operation ******** I don't want to get rid of Eris- and I would never dream of tattooing a golden apple or sacred chao on me- I just want to find balance. Harmony.


So here's my life lololol~
1. I make alternate reality games. That is a big part of my life, and for a while it's all I wanted to do, forever. But then I started injecting Discordianism into them, and while fun, my games all imploded much faster than before Eris. As in, I couldn't finish them, either because I stopped having enough time, or I got bored of it, or I did something to piss off a player. I guess that could be entirely my fault, but I had created games before Discordianism and I can guarantee you that sort of thing never happened, and they were amazing games.

2. I get bored of things within minutes of starting them. If I'm making a new drawing, I can barely get through the sketches before I'm sick of it. If I'm going for a walk, I'll get irritated with myself because there's nothing more interesting happening. I'd say this could be depression, but I know how that feels. That feels like general apathy. This is... a fast, feverish, irritating boredom. Not slow like depression. It's like if I'm not doing 23 things at once, it's not good enough.

3. College. Like Maenad Nuri's friend, I am having a hard time convincing myself to go back to school. I desperately desire to go into sociology of some sort (I have this plan of hopefully studying how conservative youth think, one day). But not only am I having a hard time convincing myself, I lost my grants over my mother's stupidity (she did some tax fraud or something) and things keep coming up that are making it hard to save up enough to take even 2 classes this semester. Having to be rushed to the hospital twice (turns out I have an ulcer lololol), owing money on my taxes, so on.

4. All my friends think I'm going crazy. I only really keep in contact with a friend from an alternate reality game I played, and my fiance. Everyone else wants nothing to do with me, for some reason. I haven't been mean, I haven't been neglectful. But they ignore my calls. :/

That's all I can really think of. Looking at everything, and considering the causes, makes me doubt this has to do with Eris. But the fact that things were 23429348979 times calmer before her, ha ha....  

[Oniko-inuki]

Quote:

I get bored of things within minutes of starting them. If I'm making a new drawing, I can barely get through the sketches before I'm sick of it. If I'm going for a walk, I'll get irritated with myself because there's nothing more interesting happening. I'd say this could be depression, but I know how that feels. That feels like general apathy. This is... a fast, feverish, irritating boredom. Not slow like depression. It's like if I'm not doing 23 things at once, it's not good enough.

That sounds almost like a manic high- a burst of energy and creativity, overactive and may flit from one topic or task to another. You mentioned having experienced depression, are you seeing someone you can talk to about this?

I've found that a shift in one's worldview, like adopting a new religion can make someone more aware of aspects of their life that they were ignoring before. This happened to me when I began adopting pagan practices into my life I became aware of my own depression, not that it caused the depression but that it made me re-evaluate my life in ways that I hadn't before. Perhaps you are experiencing something similar?  

[TeaDidikai]

Amy Winehouse

I freaking love Discordianism.
I can't deal with serious religions. I can't deal with feeling bad about myself, with feeling shame for lying or being a hypocrite. Discordianism gives me the freedom to be a human, without feeling forced to ask forgiveness for it.

Seems to me that this isn't a function of religion- but a function of not being a d**k. confused

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I love practical jokes.

When was the last time you did one?

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So I don't want to get rid of Eris- and I would never dream of tattooing a golden apple or sacred chao on me- I just want to find balance. Harmony.

Where do you plan to start looking?


Do you think it's possible that your life is suffering because you don't understand that being "chaotic" and being an a** isn't the same thing? I mean- I say this begrudgingly, my life isn't the most ordered thing in the universe- but my friends still keep me around because I'm not a b***h and my religion doesn't provide me with excuses to be one.