Sad Moments of the Gifts

[TeaDidikai]

Quote:

A collection of Fluff

Having worked in an occult shop, I have a fair few tales to tell about the nature of Fluff. I am sure everyone does- having worked in such a shop or not.

Some of these are Mr. Darks- the kind of tall tale that shifts from reality to fantasy in point two seconds.

Some of these are just BLUNDERS. Mistakes with repercussions that make any stable grounded individual shudder and ask "What were you thinking?!"

This is almost for pure entertainment value- but it will provide a lesson and a platform for fluffies to understand why so many non-fluffy pagans roll their eyes at someone when they claim to be the reincarnation of Morgan La Fae.

And on that note...

A snip of a girl happened to wander into the shop I would later be employed at. She wandered around the shop with a pretentious air about her, and when my foster mother asked if there was anything she could help her with, the girl snipped "No."

"Alright" said Danielle.

For some godsaweful reason, the woman then declared that she was the Reincarnation of Morgan La Fae, and the living embodiment of all her power on Avalon.

To which Daniella said "Wow Morgan. How badly did you ******** up to be incarnated as a skinny pale angst-ridden teen?!"

How about the rest of you? Got any good ones to tell so that folks can see how silly this stuff sounds when it is in print?  

[LadyEladrin]

I had a friend for a while who was 100% convinced that he was some kind of prince meant to lead the humans through the next coming war with Hell and that he recieved this information through visions and meditations to the other side. We're not close anymore. sweatdrop  

[Ultima the High Seraph]

TeaDidikai

To which Daniella said "Wow Morgan. How badly did you ******** up to be incarnated as a skinny pale angst-ridden teen?!"

xd That is one of the most entertaining occult-shop stories I've ever heard!

The only story I have isn't really mine. It does involve a gift I received one year for my birthday, however. My friend had gone into the local occult shop (the only one) and asked if they carried any Thai Buddhas, to which the shop keep replied, "they're all Thai Buddhas."

She answered him, "... no, they're not. That one's Chinese, that's Tibetan, this one is Japanese."

He replied, "but they were all made in Thailand." stare  

[A_Flames_Desire]

Quote:

To which Daniella said "Wow Morgan. How badly did you ******** up to be incarnated as a skinny pale angst-ridden teen?!"

My story is more creep then funny but one day I was walking through an occult store at the mall and the clerk asked me (I was the only one in there)
"How long have you been doing it? "
I turned..totaly confused.
"2 years" (this happend a year ago)
"Be careful, whats you start it's hard to stop."
I turned away..even more confused, if he was talking about Paganism and or Witchcraft, why would I want to stop it? Hadn't I decided to keep studying it?
Needless to say, this guy was a high school drop out, total goth..and I've never returned to that store.


 

[PurpleDragonsGems]

Quote:

To which Daniella said "Wow Morgan. How badly did you ******** up to be incarnated as a skinny pale angst-ridden teen?!"

ROFL that, that just made my day right there. i have a bunch of angst-ridden teens in my apt. complex  

[Starlock]

Yeah, I tend to not punt off someone as a fluff for any one thing they say. It would be quite presumptuous of me and potentially downright wrong. I'd rather get to know them a little better and see why they believe what they do before being rude or critical of them. Not everybody who makes such claims are full of it. Psychologically speaking, what the person believes in their subjective reality is more relevant than the objective 'truth' if there be such a thing. Sure, I might find what they claim off the wall, but it'd be pretty damn hypocritical of me to pound them for it given some of the things I myself have (and in some cases still do) believe.  

[TeaDidikai]

Five Corner's tale of silly #2

Now, this happened while I was working in the shop. People who work in occult shops tend to get "shop rats", people who do not come in to buy anything, but instead come in to see the people in the shop, to talk, gossip ask for advice or confess to.

This fan boy came in, he was a fan boy to another person that worked in the shop, but since she was not there, he asked me if I could make it rain blood in the room of the man that just dumped him.

I suggested fake blood, paint and paint solvent- but that idea was less appealing to him.  

[LadyEladrin]

Rain blood? gonk That's terrible. And weird. Where would the blood come from? it's not like it's just sitting up there in the sky...there'd have to be a source for said blood and that just wouldnt' be pretty. An unexpected but neccessary side-effect of that spell. Thankfully you can't actually do something like that. Stupid fluffy.  

[WebenBanu]

Wow- it sounds like you got some good ones. The most irritating people I had to deal with were the folks who spent so much time obsessing over their past lives that they didn't seem to live fully in this one. You know the type, judging by your first post^_^'- always talking about the "good old days," trying to get people to address them by past titles, talking about ancient civilizations in terms of "we" rather than "they"- as if they were an ambassador to modern times. Even reconstructionists acknowledge that we are not actually members of the ancient civilizations we study- it would be presumptuous for us to call ourselves in that way. Our version of the ancient religions will always be a bit different from the originals- simply because the original versions existed in the context of a society which is not the one we live in today, and we are not them.

I've never really understood the fascination with past lives, honestly. Isn't the point of reincarnation that you screwed up the last time around? And if that's the case, then isn't your chance at living a successful life dependent upon being who you are, right now, rather than trying to replay past lives which turned out badly? The more past lives you've had- doesn't that mean the more times you've fallen short? So why brag?^_^' And why do people obsess so much over friends that they've known from past lives, when it's just as possible to enjoy times and learn from people you've just met on this time around?

But what really bothers me is when people use past life memories as an excuse not to study the religions and cultures from which they're deriving their modern practices- citing past expertise as an excuse for laziness. Tea and I have chatted briefly on this before, but my stance on this subject is that memory is faulty even within lifetimes- and so such assertions should be backed up with some serious background study, to avoid embarrassing and misleading memory lapses. I can't stand it when I find myself speaking with Ancient Egyptian Priestess Incarnation, and she keeps using the Greek names for deities- and mispronouncing them, btw- and is absolutely shocked to hear that these names are Greekized versions and not the original, Egyptian names. And there's nothing I hate more than that patronizing, parental look in their eyes as they listen to me explaining some aspect of AE practice or language which they have either misquoted or forgotten about, which is well and clearly attested in the archaeological record, only to have them assure me that their sources are far deeper, and that the reason why I'm confused is because modern Egyptology hasn't caught up to them yet.>_< Especially when the problem seems to be that they're quoting cheap, outdated Egyptological authors- like Budge.

Other than that, my biggest problem at work was people taking my Pagan nick- "Phoenix Fyre"- as an omen that if they divulge all their personal problems to me, then I will tell them how to rise from their ashes. I started to get really wary of telling people what my name was and getting that flashing, startled look in their eyes- and when you think about it, Phoenix is a really common name in Pagandom so it couldn't have been that much of a sign. But even if I gave them advice (which I would usually try to avoid- it just made me worry that they seemed to place so much emphasis on what I said because of my name), they usually wouldn't follow it- they didn't want practical advice so much as a quick fix, or perhaps a spell. But I tend to reserve heavy spellwork as either a last resort or as support alongside the main action, which is something more mundane. And that's just no fun for people who want a magic pill and can't seem to get it together enough to actually do something about the situation in the physical world.-_-

All in all, though, I think we had a really great clientele. Our two biggest demographic groups were Wiccans and Catholics, and we had very large displays dedicated to both. The Holy Water and saint shrines were right next to the magical oils and candles, too... I kept on expecting some sort of encounter the entire time I worked there, and I thought that it was madness to put those two sections right across from each other. But there really wouldn't have been enough room to place them as far apart as I thought would be safe, and you know what? We never had a problem. Everyone was really amicable- the Catholics never even mentioned the hanging pentagram lanterns, and there weren't even any baby witches hanging out in the apothecaries poking fun at the Catholics. I was really proud of us for that.^_^ We had the people who would come in just for curiosity's sake, but they never really caused too much of a problem. We even had tourist groups every now and then, where one young "witch" would bring all her friends along to the "witch store" and show them all the bright and shinies, and explain that the magic wands were for casting spells, etc., etc. Frequently they'd be wrong or overly simplistic, but I usually didn't bother to interrupt them. They'd just lose face in front of their friends, and I had to admit that it was kind of cute. So long as they weren't saying anything outrageously off base (and these are sacrificial knives for blood offerings...) I'd usually just follow along behind them as I cleaned, or watch from the counter.^_^  

[TeaDidikai]

WebenBanu

We even had tourist groups every now and then, where one young "witch" would bring all her friends along to the "witch store" and show them all the bright and shinies, and explain that the magic wands were for casting spells, etc., etc. Frequently they'd be wrong or overly simplistic, but I usually didn't bother to interrupt them. They'd just lose face in front of their friends, and I had to admit that it was kind of cute. So long as they weren't saying anything outrageously off base (and these are sacrificial knives for blood offerings...) I'd usually just follow along behind them as I cleaned, or watch from the counter.^_^

I love those ones! The one teen witch who knows a fraction of Cunningham pointing everything out as they wander around the shop, only to grab a handful of items and stand and read a book on love spells.

rofl The number of times I have seen that one!

Yeah, Five Corners attracted some real pieces of work. But then, in our town we have one fluff bunny store, one FemNazi store (owned by some dyed in blood Dianics) and then our shop run my pretty much down to earth pagan types (me, a couple Asatru and an ashen Mombi)  

[234518]

I had this one friend who claimed ancestory from the Tuatha Da Danaan (sp?) Her "proof" of this was the fact that her family was from Ireland, as are said race of faery beings. Yup. She also claimed that her eyes changed colors depending on her mood. Oh yeah, and did I mention the fact that she is the avatar of the god Lugh? Yes, whenever she says something extremely rude or obscene and embarrases you to the point where you want to just judo chop her in the throat, she claims that it wasn't actually her saying all those things, it was Lugh talking via her. Needless to say, we are no longer friends xp I also know this other dude who is the reincarnation of Beowulf. The ouija board told him so, so it must be true. I don't know about you folks, but I know that the ouija board is a name you can trust. I once spoke to Bruce Lee through the famed talking board, and he informed me he was murdered by talking lesbian monkies. 3nodding And I know this other guy who is a self-proclaimed Egyptian priest, and is searching the globe for 50 different types of magick that escaped Egypt in Ancient times or some such gobbledegook. So far, his search hasn't yet led him out of New Jersey. Oh, I could go on forever about the moronic people I've encountered in my 10+ years as a practicing pagan, but I will simply leave you off with this little bit of advice I read on a bumper sticker: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.  

[TeaDidikai]

Luna Eclipse

Yup. She also claimed that her eyes changed colors depending on her mood.

It's actually a real thing. It's called Oczy Czarny.  

[234518]

TeaDidikai

Luna Eclipse

Yup. She also claimed that her eyes changed colors depending on her mood.

It's actually a real thing. It's called Oczy Czarny.

Even if it is real, she doesn't have it. In the ten years I've known her, her eyes have never once been anything other than green. Or maybe she only has one mood? blaugh  

[Ishtar Fay]

--
One of my friends claims to be a "super-awesome-coolio-high priestess-demonic-shapeshifting-time going-elemental-potions master-psychic vampire-psychic-archangel-Atlantian- Witch."
Pretty to think so, eh?
I have only felt and seen one of her powers, along with a few others that tried her.
But yet she still thinks that she is a washed up Atlantian that lives with foster parents who tell her that she is their daughter, and has demons chasing her at every moment, since she is such a powerful "witch."

I said Happy Samhain to her, and she asked me if Samhain was a "spell."
confused
--

I have never worked at an occult shop, nor do we have any in my area, but your stories are very intersting, and rather funny.
--

 

[Yukinoko87]

I once had a friend who...yeah, let's just say she was special. She was a SRW junkie and tried to get me to read all her books. She'd also go on and on about how there were all these faeries in her room that bit her. Then there was the time she claimed she was the incarnation of a Goddess...I can't remember which one, but yeah. Also she had this scare that her ex-boyfriend was a psivampire and had marked her so she had to get rid of him. It was kind of funny. Later on she became a fundie Christian...