Ask the Captain...

[Sir Nunatak]

Ask the Captain...


Have you ever wondered about something? Something important regarding Crittendo, or the Crew as a whole? Have you ever wondered why some things in here are the way they are and why they're not the way they aren't? Is the complexity of the universe sometimes mindboggling and do you just need some answers?

Well, don't worry, for you can use this thread to ask me any and all questions, serious or silly, regarding important Guild business, myself or something completely off-topic. I will answer truthfully as long as the questions aren't mean. ;]

Don't blaim me when silly questions get silly answers, though! 3nodding  

[The_Original_Chaplin]

If toast always lands butterside down and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if ya strapped a slice of buttered toast on a falling cat? How would it land? On it's side?
*brain asplodes*  

[Zapatorf]

The toast would flip upside down while staying strapped on, of course.  

[The_Original_Chaplin]

Zapatorf

The toast would flip upside down while staying strapped on, of course.

Brilliant, why didn't I think of that? In space no one can hear you scream so if a tree falls in space does it make a sound?  

[Sir Nunatak]

To answer the first question:

That action would create a local physics-defying anti-gravity field that would leave the toastcat suspended in mid-air until they are separated, at which point both entities will go back their normal behaviour and land on their feet/butterside.


Second question:

For starters, space is a vaccuum so any sound that originates in it cannot physically reproduce through a medium, since there isn't even an atmosphere through which the waves can travel.

As for whether something exists if no one hears it; if a tree were to fall on earth, soundwaves are still created, even if there is no one to hear them. Perception of a phenomenon is no requirement for its existance.

A tree in space, though... will neither fall due to lack of gravity, nor will it make a sound doing so. wink If it would fall, it would do so because it was attracted to other mass. That mass will be a medium for sound reproduction so...

Yes, the tree in space will make a sound, provided there's something around that'll make it fall. You won't hear it unless you have your ear pressed against that something, though.  

[The_Original_Chaplin]

Is Santa Claus real? I really wanna believe in him but it just seems so farfetched.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18 ) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total — 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that is 91.9 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75½ million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest manmade vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second — a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" could pull TEN times their normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload — not even counting the weight of the sleigh — to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison — this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance — this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer with absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

All of this just doesn't add up! I'm SHO CONFUSED! Is it possible that Santy Claus is a FAKE!?!? gonk

Oh, I don't know what to believe in anymore! crying crying crying

*Whispers to himself* "Big boys don't cry. Big boys don't cry"  

[Sir Nunatak]

Holy sh*t Koopa, did you write and research all of that yourself? O______O

You should've gotten into how his house still hasn't been found. Can you find it on Google Maps? I sure as hell can't!


You might (not) know this, but Santa Claus has been derived from a piece European folklore featuring a generous chubby old man that went by the name of Saint Nicholas. In the Netherlands (where I live) we still celebrate an event liked to him on the 5th of December, and since he also has to deliver gifts to one country in just one night, he suffers the same logistic problem as Santa.

The excuse that parents here use is that Sinterklaas (Saint Nicholas) has a team Help-Sints, exact dopplegangers that can act in his place, also explaining how he is often at so many places at the same time. (Sinterklaas often visits people at their houses in person on the 5th of December.) He also has an army of helpers who help distribute the gifts.

Maybe we need to sneak something about Elfs helping Santa out into the general mythos so that this whole story starts to get a little credible.

If not... there's always the silly excuse.


Santa does not bow to the laws of physics, he's magic!

Santa is magic, magic, oh oh oh, Santa is magic, doo doo doo doo magic, magic.... XD  

[PrismScepter]

Do you believe in ESP?  

[Moleje]

This is so funny you answer these exactly like I would like to but with a much better grasp of your answer and in a wording that can be far better understood. Not to forget to mention a stellar lack of spelling errors.

I can't resist to ask this now.

Which came first the chicken or the egg? blaugh

I hope you keep believing in Santa Koopa.

When the time comes, when the belly ache of doubt strikes my children. It is very plain for me to state the history and origins of Santa and add a little bit of hope and faith to the mixture in also saying I like to believe in the spirit of such an ideal and in true magic that is nearly beyond our perception.

Now I will go watch Nightmare Before Christmas because it is awsome.