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continue fanfic?
yes ^-^
71%
 71%  [ 5 ]
no...-__-;
28%
 28%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 7


HebiAikou

PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:24 pm


okay. this is my first fanfiction ^-^ I made a while ago on fanfic.net (account ChibiYasashii on there) and I forgot my password for there and somehow that msn also got screwed up and has yet to let me log back into it. I made another account on fanfic.net...and I forgot that one XD. This fanfiction is also on my deviantart ^-^ Da.
What I want you to do is read it and tell me if I should continue with it since it only consists of one chapter as of yet. well here it is. enjoy ;3

chapter 1

The morning sun was rising. The birds were chirping. The trees were blowing in the wind. Yep, Autumn was rolling around the corner. You could hear the cries of cats being chased by Akamaru. Shortly after Akamaru was finished chasing cats, the hidden leaf village came alive.

Naruto rustled in his sleep just before his alarm went off, ringing sharply in his ears. He stumbled out of bed and shut the alarm off by throwing it across the room where it smashed into the wall and hit the off button. How it didn't smash into tiny pieces Naruto will never know.

Across the village, within the Uchiha household, Sasuke had been up since 6 am and had already started packing up his things to be moved to the new high school that was built within the summer by some of the village's top ninja. This new high school was built with 3 main floors and the first floor was where the dorms were located.

About an hour later, Naruto has done his packing and was moving his belongings out the door when a pink whip of light alongside a blonde flash flew past him. Shortly after, Sasuke was packing his things into a wagon when the pink and blonde flashes whizzed by and winked. Sasuke shuddered after they left. He was not amused by them, nor did he want them even 20 ft. close to him.

After Sasuke was done shuddering from the sight of the pink and blonde bimbos, he dragged the wagon halfway through Konoha and stopped infront of Konoha High. Naruto, on the otherhand, went on a high speed frenzy to get to the school and crashed smack-dab right into the back of Sasuke causing them both to fall onto the wagon.

'Oi Teme, are you alright?' Naruto says as he gets off Sasuke and the wagon.
'Hn.' Sasuke mutters out.
'Alright then, see ya!' Naruto struggles to get his luggage up the massive 5 stairs of doom.

Sasuke looks at the pathetic sight infront of him and gets his wagon of stuff and helped Naruto out by pulling his luggage on the wagon as well. They enter Konoha High and spot Iruka and Kakashi at the office talking with Tsunade. She spots Naruto and Sasuke and passes them a slip that states that they are going to be in the same dorm. They sign the slip knowing there will be no changing allowed unless there may be a case of someone chasing the other with sharp objects. They agree to deal with the arrangement as best they can. Kakashi throws them their room keys and they go off to find room 18.

They finally find their room and unlock the door. Inside the room, there were two twin beds, a TV, and another door leading to a bathroom. Sasuke and Naruto quickly choose their beds and started to unpack their belongings. After they finish unpacking, they decided to roam around the rest of the dorm area.

Kiba and Shino appear to be next door in room 17 and a little farther down the hall were the teachers dorms where Kakashi and Iruka were located.

Luckily for Tsunade's thinking, when the school was built she separated the dorms so the girls dorms were far away. Sasuke was very relieved when he had found that out. He would hopefully never see Sakura and Ino within the school or he might just attack them with kunai or something. As Sasuke was pondering what he'd do if they did show up and invade his personal bubble Naruto snapped him out of concentration.

'Lets go find some food, I'm starving' Naruto hadn't eaten since 7:30 am and it was now exactly 12 noon.
'Alright' Sasuke grabs Naruto and drags him around the school looking for the cafeteria or at least a vending machine.

After they finish eating, they decide to get together with all their friends and play at the built-in arcade. So it was going to be an air hockey match from each dorm. Sasuke beat Shino with a 7-2. Naruto lost to Kiba with a 6-7. They even invited Iruka and Kakashi and Zabuza and Haku showed up randomly. Iruka lost to Haku 0-7. While Kakashi and Zabuza with their competitive streak tied at 7-7. After all the scores for the teams were tallied the winning team, which was Haku and Zabuza by one point, got a free meal. In Second place were Sasuke and Naruto. Third place was Kiba and Shino. Last place was Kakashi and Iruka...clearly Iruka needs to practice a lot more so he can at least get a goal.

Before the games started, they bet that all the losers would pay for the winners to go out and eat, so off they went.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:28 pm


well, at least I introduced a few of the pairings...XD i missed a couple I was thinking of adding to the fic in general if I continue XD

HebiAikou


krazii13

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:05 pm


hmm, a high school story, I haven't read one of those yet so I am extremely intrigued. Do continue.
PostPosted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:41 am


heehee i was in high school when i did that. so it seemed good XD. I was going to start chap 2 over x-mas break. but that among other things did not get done XD

HebiAikou


NaruSasuiscool

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:19 pm


ooo likin it so far
PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 5:54 pm


^-^ thanks for the feedback ^^. there's just one problem...college XD 5+ projects a week and i can barely get those done let alone attempt to do this more lol...until maybe workterm or march break or summer XD

HebiAikou


NaruSasuiscool

PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:50 pm


kk i can wait lol
PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:59 am


lol who knows...i may lengthen this chapter by march break XD since it is only just above 800 words XD. and possibly start chapter 2

HebiAikou


Tasteless Color

Desirable Lover

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:50 am


So far your fanfic is great, biggrin

but you should put a little bit more description on how sasuke and naruto felt about the new high school, but dont say it, make them think it (I hope you understand that)
and also when naruto says:

'Oi Teme, are you alright?' Naruto says as he gets off Sasuke and the wagon.

shouldnt he be, like, starting to apologise, but when he sees sasuke he yells at him or something like that sweatdrop
I mean they are enemies ninja

I hope you don't mind my criticism, I'm just trying to help you a little bit ^-^

mrgreen
PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:06 pm


its good i like it! whee

Lunalover009

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[The Arena]________Fanfiction & Fanart & Original Creations

 
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