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Reply Art / Poetry / Literature - Related Topics
Judge the above person's poem

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_Built_to_Offend_666

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 3:08 pm
First person writes a poem (or a short story, etc) and the second person judges it on a scale between 1 to 10 (can write reasons for their judgement if they want to, posititive critisim as well) then posts a poem they wrote. so on and so forth

USE ONLY LITERARY YOU WROTE.  
PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 3:10 pm
i supose because i created ill post first, i dont have anything new to post so I'll post one of my older poems (remember my poems are meant as song lyrics, so they are a little different than traditional poetry)

A HOLE INSIDE OF ME

Another nothing, another no one, trying to fit inside of me
Giving me something that drills inside of me
Another label, another zero, sticking itself onto me
Making me something I don't want to be
Another bloodstorm, another infection, seeping its way into my veins
Turning me into a beast in a cage

Its all leaking into me, everything that its making me be
Its all leaking into me, everything I don't want to be
Its all making me sting, mutating my whole world into the obscene
Its all overwhelming me, poke a hole inside myself to let it all out!

No more nothing, no more anyone, stay as far back as you can
Then get back even further
No more titles, no more truths, get the hell outta' me!
Your turning me into the beast I don't want to be
No more bloodbath, no more disease, once I poke this hole inside of me!
The beast has now broken thru its cage!

Its all leaking into me, everything that its making me be
Its all leaking into me, everything I don't want to be
Its all making me sting, mutating my whole world into the obscene
Its all overwhelming me, poke a hole inside myself to let it all out!
Its all leaking into me, everything that its making me be
Its all leaking into me, everything I don't want to be
Its all making me sting, mutating my whole world into the obscene
Its all overwhelming me, poke a hole inside myself to let it all out!
I wanna let you all out!
I wanna make you all leave!
I wanna force you all out!
Because your making me bleed!

I'm picking at this hole inside myself, and now its starting to grow
And now it wont stop until its consumed this world!
But will it destroy my mind?

Another nothing, another no one, trying to fit itself inside of me
No more nothing, no more anyone, stay as far back as you can
Another label, another zero, sticking itself onto me
No more titles, no more truths, get the hell away from me!
Another bloodstorm, another infection, seeping its way into me
No more bloodbath, no more disease, once I poke this hole inside of me!

I don't want you here, I don't need you here
Go back to the place that you came from
Because here is where you do not belong!

Get back inside that hole!
Get back inside that hole!
Get back inside that hole!
Get back inside that hole!
Get back inside that hole!
Get back inside that hole!
Get back inside that hole!
Get back inside that hole!
 

_Built_to_Offend_666


The_Crack_Squirrel

PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 5:47 pm
You look familiar... twisted

(I'm e-stalking you! Ha ha! I told you I could find your posts if I wanted.)  
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 2:44 pm
damn u!!!!!!!!!!!!! stressed scream gonk  

_Built_to_Offend_666

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Art / Poetry / Literature - Related Topics

 
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