What is the purpose of forgiveness?

[Priestley]

Forgiveness is one of the key tenets of the Christian faith due to Jesus' teachings on the subject.

What is the purpose of forgiveness? Is it simply something done to save oneself an earbashing from God at the resurrection? Is it done to lift the burdens from the shoulders of those whom are haunted by misplaced guilt? Should it be given freely without acknowledgement of a person's actual sin? Does it have a purpose beyond that; perhaps to teach someone what they are doing wrong, how to do it right or to teach a better way of doing things?

I'd like you to share your thoughts about the topic. smile  

[Lisa Faye]

There are many different ways this can be viewed.
It could be viewed as asking the Lord for forgiveness of your sins. As we are all human, and try as hard as we can not to, we still sin.

Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Matthew 6:15
But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

These hold so true. We're human. And as such, we hold grudges against people who have trespassed against us. Or we feel we have done something so wrong, no matter what that thing is, we're not worthy of forgiveness.
By thinking this way, it's harder still for us to forgive ourselves. Much less, forgive those who have hurt us. By not forgiving ourselves, we prevent God from being able to forgive us.
If we forgive, we can let the pain from whatever has happened go. If we can't do this, the anger takes hold. Sometimes, it can take hold so strong, we will initially forget whatever it was that caused it in the first place, and only remember the anger, and the person who caused it.
By not forgiving, we are, in a way, condemning ourselves. And keeping the true blessings from being bestowed upon us.
That's what I think anyway. *Should actually be in bed* sweatdrop  

[Priestley]

I understand that we have the capacity to forgive, but surely there is something to be achieved by using forgiveness as a tool to bring about a change in someone from a sinful behaviour to a better behaviour. I mean, it's difficult to find a time when Jesus forgave without there being some sort of extenuating circumstances, e.g. saving the adulterous woman from being stoned or healing the crippled man. If you give forgiveness freely without the acknowledgement from the party who has sinned, the only effect is that God will forgive you. There isn't a change in the person who has sinned for the better.  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

While I was doing research for my thesis, I came across a few articles that discussed forgiveness. Alot of studies have been done that show those who forgive others readily often feel better about themselves. However, which came first is hard to say. I didn't read more than the abstracts of these studies, and most seemed correlational in nature, so it was hard to tell if forgiveness made the forgiver feel better, or if feeling better made you more likely to forgive. I'm sure it goes both ways.

But forgiving is an element of loving, I would say. By releasing someone of the guilt of their trespass, you are showing that you still value that relationship, that you do not want them to feel shame over whatever they have done, just as you yourself wouldn't want to feel awful forever about whatever you've done. Jesus forgives us as a sign of His love for us, and as ambassadors of Christ, and as imitators of Christ, we're to forgive as a sign of our Christian love toward one another.  

[Priestley]

I know we're supposed to imitate and reflect the example we have been given. What I am saying, however, is that there are acts for which people should feel rightly ashamed. In being ashamed for their actions, it is then the aim not to do that action again so as to avoid feeling the same shame repeatedly or constantly. To learn, someone must realise the error of their ways, then be brought out of that by being taught the better way and, ultimately, forgiving what they have done previously because they are now acting as they should.

Take the adulterous woman, for example. She obviously knew she had done wrong and was trying to escape her fate which was to be stoned. Jesus saw she had realised her mistake and he gave her a second chance by forgiving her: he acknowledged her realisation that she had done wrong and told her to start doing what is right.

It's all well and good to forgive someone in your heart, but, what of the person you've forgiven if they don't know you have done so?  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

That's the whole point of contrition. You can't be forgiven if you aren't truly sorry. Just like you can't be saved if you don't truly accept Jesus' salvation.

There is a difference between shame and guilt though. Guilt is acknowledging that you've done wrong and feeling bad about it, and promising not to do it again, at which point you can be forgiven and move on. Shame is dwelling on it, too proud to let it go. Shame prevents us from forgiveness and growth.

As for the person you've forgiven- if you can't let them know, then you can't let them know. There are people that I've forgiven for things they have done, but I haven't seen them for nearly ten years, and I probably won't ever see them again. I would like to tell them I've forgiven them, because it would provide some sort of closure for me I think (or complete the process maybe), though I'm not sure if it would have any effect on the person one way or the other. confused For some people though, it really is crucial to let them know you have forgiven them, so that they can stop feeling guilty and move on.  

[Ixor Firebadger]

Fushigi na Butterfly

For some people though, it really is crucial to let them know you have forgiven them, so that they can stop feeling guilty and move on.

I think that about sums it up for me. The purpose of forgiveness is so that all parties involved can let it go and move on with their lives. Without it, we would all be slaves to sin rather than free to live without it. Or, at least, to try to.

And, yes, it even enslaves the person that can not forgive. If we don't, we just keep on dwelling on how that person has wronged us and it just continues to hurt.  

[Priestley]

Ixor-san

Fushigi na Butterfly

For some people though, it really is crucial to let them know you have forgiven them, so that they can stop feeling guilty and move on.

I think that about sums it up for me. The purpose of forgiveness is so that all parties involved can let it go and move on with their lives. Without it, we would all be slaves to sin rather than free to live without it. Or, at least, to try to.

And, yes, it even enslaves the person that can not forgive. If we don't, we just keep on dwelling on how that person has wronged us and it just continues to hurt.

Right, but forgiving does not mean forgetting. I seem to remember having this discussion with you before. biggrin The issue must be resolved. Jesus says so and so does Paul.  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

Says we should forgive and forget? Or just forgive? God forgets. He totally scratches it out when we are forgiven (though I'm trying to understand what this means in light of every person being held accountable for everything they say later on >> though that might be in the OT, can't remember). It's more likely that we are to forgive and act as if we have forgotten. If we truly forget, then we can't protect ourselves from being hurt again in the future. But if we act- towards them and towards ourselves- as if we have entirely forgotten their trespass, then we have truly forgiven them.  

[Priestley]

I still think forgetting defeats the whole purpose for forgiveness in the first place.  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

Not forgetting defeats the purpose. To forgive someone is to no longer hold them guilty for what they've done. If God didn't forget our trespasses against Him, none of us would be saved. He forgives us for what we do, but that doesn't mean we're supposed to sin whenever we like- that would be exploitative and wrong. Because none of us is worthy of forgiveness, not from God, not from each other, because everyday we hurt God and we hurt one another. We can't help it- it's our nature. If God were to hold it against us, He would be a hypocrite. confused  

[Priestley]

But does God actually forget? Doesn't forgetting do away with the need for Jesus' sacrifice, which was to pay the debt of sin?  

[Ixor Firebadger]

I don't think so. We need that sacrifice to recieve that kind of forgiveness in the first place. And it is inevitable that we'll need it again later because we are always going to screw up.  

[Priestley]

Think of it like a balance sheet. You can imagine the quantity of sin like a debt and you need to pay that debt with something. Jesus' sacrifice pays that debt. A line is drawn under it and the balance breaks even. There are still records of the debt and the payment. The paperwork isn't just thrown away. We will still be held to account at the Judgement.  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

Priestley

But does God actually forget? Doesn't forgetting do away with the need for Jesus' sacrifice, which was to pay the debt of sin?

This is where philosophy picks up, and I'm going to try to explain this as best as I can, because when I had this explained to me, it was a bit confusing.

God is omniscient. He knows everything. He sees everything. He can't unknow something, because that would go against His omniscience; likewise, He can't actually "forget". It's similar to all the times in the Bible where it's mentioned "and then God remembered His servant so-and-so, and blessed/delivered him/them." It wasn't as if God had actually gotten sidetracked with some other nation He was smiting in righteous anger- it was just that He was returning His full gaze and attention to that person/group of people, in order to bring to fruition His promises. In the same context, God doesn't actually "unknow" or "forget" our sin; He just turns away from it, choosing not to pay attention to it. He still knows that we have sinned, He knows how we have wronged Him, but because of Jesus, He promises to us that it will be as if we've never sinned. When we are truly contrite, God says to us, "okay, I forgive you; let's let this be water under the bridge- go and sin no more." Humans, as social beings, have this need to always have a balance between themselves and those they have relationships with. Our attempting not to sin, and the guilt we have over past sins (guilt, not shame- guilt that reminds us that we have sinned and reminds us that we don't want to sin any longer, as opposed to shame, which weighs us down, and makes us afraid to approach God to be cleansed of our sins) is our way of trying to pay God back for His forgiveness. "He has given me this great opportunity, allowing me into His Kingdom, and I don't want to take advantage of that."

Does that make more sense?